Blogger of the Bride

Heidi Klum and Seal to rob the world of their love

2012-01-23T12:32:00.001-08:00

The news of Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce is SUCH A DOWNER, right? I loved them, their adorable children, and their crazy parties.

I only discovered their annual themed anniversary parties last year, and I remember looking forward to all the themes to come because it seemed like they were so great together.

“In a statement Sunday night, the power couple announced their separation after rumors swirled over the weekend that a divorce was imminent.

While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul searching we have decided to separate," the joint statement read. "We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition. We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children's sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy."

Their sexay video.

I guess Ric Ocasek (of the Cars) and Paulina Porizkova are our only hope for musician/model eternal love. They’ve got some cute kids too.

This pic is from 2006. I’m just assuming the kids are still cute.

Friday Funny–passport stupidity

2012-01-20T13:50:00.000-08:00

Found via my #1 timewaster Reddit, here’s a little nugget of dumbness from Yahoo! Answers.

If you’re grown-up enough to get married, maybe you should be smart enough to do a little Internet sleuthing on your own, no?

I wonder if they truly tried to exchange their Dollars for Puka shells.

Happy weekend!

Post Secret wedding secrets

2012-01-16T13:29:00.000-08:00

There were a few wedding related secrets posted to Post Secret this weekend. Every secret gives me a new opportunity to see the world through a stranger's eyes.

Post card reads I've been married for 8 months. My parents don't know...and I honestly don't think they deserve to.

It would really hurt me to have non-involved parents. I love my family so much - it would be so sad to get married and not tell them. But if the secret sender thinks they're undeserving, then it seems like the right decision. Even if it is a tough one.

I used to hate people who got married just because they liked the "idea" of a spouse. Now I think I've become one...

What is this person saying? Does she now hate herself for becoming "one of those"? Getting married to an idea is not a solid marriage foundation, but maybe it's right for both of them. I think if everyone waits for their exact, perfect, ideal person, none of us would ever get married.

Don't marry him, He is gay!! On back: I wish it was my place to tell you.

Some Googling tells me that the Locust on the Park apartment building is in Philadelphia. I think the sender is trying to get the attention of the future bride. This one makes a mess of a situation in my brain. I'm glad that the sender knows his/her place in someone else's relationship (i.e. to stay out of it).

What do you think? Do you also read Post Secret and imagine yourself each scenario? Do you judge the post card senders, or do you try to put yourself in that person's place?

-KB

Slow trainwreck destroys cake

2012-01-06T13:03:00.000-08:00

It's obvious that this video will end in disaster. When I first watched it, I was curious to see what type of disaster it would be.

The cake comes out on a trolley, and the woman immediately gets to work lighting the scary sparkler candles. Terrible music plays as she makes faces and attempts to get more than three of the candles lit. Slowly, she works that match around the whole cake. She never successfully gets more candles lit, so she gives up and s-l-o-w-l-y pushes the trolley into the banquet hall to present it to the guests and...

splat. Dead cake. It's all over.

Total boner jam. No cake, sad guests.

Initially I thought it seemed pretty stupid to light a cake on fire, but now that I've seen it done properly, I want a fiery birthday cake.

Sinead calling off divorce

2012-01-04T09:31:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

In case you missed it: everyone is getting divorced. Katy Perry minus Russell Brand, Sinead O'Connor minus Some Guy...wait, no, now they want to be married again.

Just a week after announcing her fourth marriage was over after just 16 days, it appears Sinead O'Connor has changed her mind.The giddy singer, 45, took to her newly re-opened Twitter account in the early hours of this morning to reveal she was reconciling with her husband Barry Herridge.

In rather revealing messages, the Irish star said the couple had been 'love-making'.Admitting they rushed down the aisle following their Las Vegas nuptials on December 8 after just four months of dating, O'Connor explained they would be 'boyfriend and girlfriend again' - despite still being legally wed.

Under her Twitter handle 'vampyahslayah' [ugh], The Nothing Compares 2 U star wrote: 'Guess who had a mad love making affair with her own husband last night?'Yay!!! we decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend again an (sic) stay married but we did rush, so we gonna return to b friend g friend and be sickenly (sic) happy an go counsellin (sic) an move in like a yr like regular people...'But stay married an we all in love an f**k every other motherf**ker who don't like it.. so me all happy!! me love me hubby.. he love me... f**k who no like it.. God is good!'

Her writing style makes me hate her more.

O'Connor revealed the couple's marriage had ended in a lengthy statement on her official website on Boxing Day.In fact, they had only lived together as husband and wife for seven days following the ceremony at the Little White Wedding Chapel.

Initially, she blamed the 'intense pressure' on the couple and admitted his friends and family were unhappy with the union.A few days later, she revealed their relationship ran into problems immediately after the ceremony when she went on a hunt around Las Vegas for cannabis.

She told The Sun: 'We ended up in a cab in some place that was quite dangerous.'I wasn't scared - but he's a drugs counsellor. What was I thinking?'Then I was handed a load of crack. Barry was very frightened — that kind of messed everything up a bit really.'She met drug counsellor Barry, 38, after he replied to her online blog in September in which she said that she was 'sex-starved' and asked potential suitors to apply.

Clearly happy with her reignited lovelife, she later added on Twitter: 'So Sinead got laid!!!... and all well.'Yay!!! me husband is a big hairy cave man an (sic) came to claim me with his club : ) and now I'm in cave-land.. yay!! We both go panto!'Herridge is the latest husband in a list of short-lived marriages for the unlucky-in-love star.She was previous wed and had a son Jake with musician John Reynolds in the late 80s, journalist Nick Sommerland from 2001-2004 and musician Steve Cooney in 2010 - which ended less than a year later.She also had a lengthy on/off relationship with Dermott Hayes and another that lasted about a year from 2006 and 2007 with Frank Bonadio, who is the father of her son Yeshua, four.

I normally really enjoy crazy women with strong personalities (hence my unending interest in the life of Courtney Love), but Sinead O'Connor isn't one of those women. Why would anyone take a drug counselor to buy crack - unintentionally or not. And what counselor marries a woman based on a blog post?!

Happy Everything!

2011-12-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

I hope you're as busy as I am with all the Christmas/Solstice/Hanukkah/New Year festivities! See you next year (or maybe sooner).

Here's a Christmas picture from my make-believe happiest couple.

Thanks for another fun year, friends and readers.

xo,
Kay Banks

AJ McLean's wedding invitations

2011-12-07T09:02:00.001-08:00

One of the Backstreet Boy guys - A.J. McLean - is getting married this weekend. I don't give a crap about him either, but his wedding invitations were called "Gothic", so immediately I had to see them.

Screencapped from TMZ. Don't sue me Harvey Levin, your watermark is firmly in place.

I don't know if I'd call them Gothic, exactly. TMZ aptly describes them as looking "like they were designed by Ed Hardy and Dracula". I agree, and I wouldn't say it's complimentary, because don't we all hate Ed Hardy?

Yes, yes we all hate Ed Hardy.

The invitations are beautifully crafted, but there's something about the style that exudes the arrogance of a guy who would wear a dragon-covered, bedazzled shirt.

I do like the blood-spattered font they chose.

I hate this one more than anything. It looks like the back of a that-guy shirt.

And in case you don't know what A.J. McLean and Rochelle Karidis look like, here's something that will instantly make you understand their wedding invitations.

Yep. They want to look like that. On purpose. He's making duck face. Again, on purpose.

-KB

Kentucky church does the right thing

2011-12-05T10:03:00.001-08:00

Last week, a small Kentucky church voted to ban interracial marriage after Stella Harville and Ticha Chikuni became engaged - they are a mixed-race couple. They have now reversed their position, so I should take back some of those things I said about the people of Kentucky. Sorry, KY.

Follow up from AP:

An eastern Kentucky church under a firestorm of criticism since members voted to bar mixed-race couples from joining the congregation overturned that decision Sunday, saying it welcomes all believers.

Stacy Stepp, pastor of the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church in Pike County, told The Associated Press that the vote by nine people last week was declared null and void after it was determined that new bylaws can't run contrary to local, state or national laws. He said the proposal was discriminatory, therefore it couldn't be adopted.

The "controversial" couple

Stepp said about 30 people who attended church services voted on a new resolution that welcomes "believers into our fellowship regardless of race, creed or color."

The issue came up at the tiny all-white Appalachian church after the daughter of church secretary Dean Harville visited over the summer with her boyfriend, who is from Africa, and the two sang for the congregation.Harville said he was approached in August by Melvin Thompson, the church member who crafted the resolution to bar mixed-race couples, and was told that his daughter and her boyfriend were no longer allowed to sing at the church.Thompson has said he is not racist and called the matter an "internal affair."

Stepp said the Sandy Valley Conference of Free Will Baptists declared the vote on Thompson's resolution null and void during a meeting on Saturday.He said he told church members on Sunday about the decision and proposed a resolution to promote "peace, love and harmony."He said the resolution to welcome all believers passed with a unanimous vote.

This nonsense again? Church bans interracial marriage.

2011-12-01T12:15:00.001-08:00

TL;DR: Somewhere in Kentucky, a church has voted in favor of banning interracial marriage after a mixed-race couple from the church became engaged. The bride-to-be is white, and the groom is African.

A tiny all-white Appalachian church in rural Kentucky has voted to ban interracial couples from joining its flock, pitting members against each other in an argument over race.

Members at the Gulnare Free Will Baptist Church voted Sunday on the resolution, which says the church “does not condone interracial marriage.”The church member who crafted the resolution, Melvin Thompson, said he is not racist and called the matter an “internal affair.”

“I am not racist. I will tell you that. I am not prejudiced against any race of people, have never in my lifetime spoke evil about a race,” said Thompson, the church’s former pastor who stepped down earlier this year. “That’s what this is being portrayed as, but it is not.”

Not the couple, obviously, but you needed some pretty with all this ugliness.

Church secretary Dean Harville disagrees: He says the resolution came after his daughter visited the church this summer with her boyfriend from Africa. Stella Harville and Ticha Chikuni — now her fiancé — visited the church in June and Chikuni sang a song for the congregation. The two had visited the church before.Dean Harville, the church’s secretary, said he was counting the church offering after a service in early August when he was approached by Thompson, who told him Harville’s daughter and her boyfriend were no longer allowed to sing at the church.

“If he’s not racist, what is this?” Harville said of Thompson.The vote by members last Sunday was 9-6, Harville said. It was taken after the service, which about 35 to 40 people attended.

Harville said many people left or declined to vote. The resolution says anyone is welcome to attend services, but interracial couples could not become members or be “used in worship services or other church functions.”Stella Harville, a 24-year-old graduate student at Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology in Indiana, called the vote “hurtful.”

“I think part of me is still in shock and trying to process what’s been going on the past few days,” she said. “I really hope they overturn this.”The church’s pastor, Stacy Stepp, said Wednesday that he was against the resolution. Stepp said the denomination’s regional conference will begin working on resolving the issue this weekend.

The National Association of Free Will Baptists in Antioch, Tenn., has no official position on interracial marriage for its 2,400 churches worldwide, executive secretary Keith Burden said. The denomination believes in the Bible is inerrant and local churches have autonomy over decision-making.

“It’s been a non-issue with us,” Burden said, adding that many interracial couples attend Free Will Baptist churches. He said the Pike County church acted on its own. Burden said the association can move to strip the local church of its affiliation with the national denomination if it’s not resolved.

“Hopefully it is corrected quickly,” Burden said.The church’s vote on interracial marriage was first reported this week by East Kentucky Broadcasting, a network of local radio stations in the region.Stella Harville met Chikuni at Georgetown College, where he is a student advisor. Dean Harville said Chikuni’s parents live in southern Africa, and he has not seen them in over a decade.

The most expensive weddings

2011-11-28T08:48:00.001-08:00

When the Business Insider is doing an article on weddings, you know there's a crap-ton of money involved. They list the 12 most expensive weddings ever (some adjusted for inflation), and here they are from "cheapest" to most expensive.

12. Catharine Zeta-Jones & Michael Douglas - They spent $1.5 million dollars in 2005; $1.6 million when adjusted for inflation.

11. Katie Holmes & Tom Cruise - $2 million in 2006; $2.2 million when adjusted for inflation.

10. Christina Aguilera & Jordan Bratman - Money does not buy eternal togetherness - the two are now divorced. In 2005 their wedding cost $2 million, or $2.2 million when adjusted for inflation.

9. Elizabeth Hurley & Arun Nayar - It seems like Hurley changes men frequently, so it seems short-sighted to me that her multi-cultural wedding that ended in divorce cost $2.5 million in 2007, or $2.6 million when adjusted for inflation. (click the link for their wedding photos)

8. Heather Mills & Paul McCartney - proof that money can buy misery. In 2002 their wedding costs were $3 million dollars, or $3.6 when adjusted for inflation. That's $1 million more than #9! Of course you know they were divorced and McCartney recently remarried.

7. Elizabeth Taylor & Larry Fortensky - in 1991 they she paid $2.5 million; adjusted for inflation, that's $4 million. (click the link for their wedding details) The two divorced soon after.

6. Liza Minelli & David Gest - Their wedding cost $3.5 million in 2002, or $4.2 million when adjusted for inflation. Marriage ended in divorce.

Now, with pictures!

5. Chelsea Clinton & Marc Mezvinsky - she's the former President's daughter, and he's an investment banker. It's no wonder that that their wedding cost a shocking $5 million dollars.

4. Coleen McLoughlin & Wayne Rooney - WHO? Wayne Rooney is the highest-paid footballer (soccer player) ever, and Coleen McLoughlin is the working-class woman who married him. Their wedding cost - ready? - $8 million dollars! Guests were treated to time on a yacht, and five-star hotels during their stay in Italy.

3. Kate Middleton & Prince William - I don't have to explain who they are, or how big their wedding was, right? Expensive wedding #4 cost $8 million, while this one cost $34 million dollars. $34 million.

2. Vanisha Mittal & Amit Bhatia - Step aside, British peasants, this wedding cost $60 million in 2005, or $66 million when adjusted for inflation. She's the daughter of a steel magnate, he's a big time banker. They had five days of wedding merriment, and invitations presented in silver boxes.

1. Lady Diana & Prince Charles - in 1981 their wedding cost $48 million. Adjusted for inflation, that's $110 million. These numbers are becoming meaningless. I don't even understand how I could get an event to cost $110 million. Even with their back-up wedding cakes and 25 ft. taffeta train, it still seems like an absurd amount to pay for a wedding. Of course, it was an absurd amount because the two divorced in the fashion of a true royal scandal.

Wedding at Henson Studios!

2011-11-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

I am crazy excited about the upcoming Muppets movie, and totally in love with everything about this cute wedding. It took place at Jim Henson Studios in Hollywood, and was shot by Megan Finley Photography (check her site for more photos and better descriptions).

Here's the cute couple.

Each table had a pop-culture themed centerpiece.

Then they had California's favorite - In-N-Out.

And a Star Wars-themed cake with a light sabre cake cutter. !!!

Here's the couple again with their own personalized Muppets.

Are puppets the new zombies/vampires? Because that would be fun!

Twilight wedding product tie-ins

2011-11-21T12:20:00.000-08:00

I am one of three people in the US who has not read or seen anything Twilight, so you'll have to correct me if I get my facts wrong here.

First, Hallmark is selling the Swan/Cullen wedding invitations. You can personalize them to make them your own, but here's an example of THE invitation that the fictional characters sent out for their wedding.

It's...boring. Sorry. I don't get why you would send this as your invitation unless you just don't care.

In addition to the dull (opposite of sparkly, y/y?) wedding invitation, you can buy a lot of other Twilight stationery.

Mothers, if you get your teenage daughter this card, she'll feel like you finally understand her.

If you're looking for a wedding-day hair accessory that counts as something blue AND something pop-culture, you'll like this hair comb from Hot Topic.

I think it's pretty! I don't know if it looks cheap in real life, but it would look nice with a messy up-do.

If you really really want to emulate the Twilight wedding, you'll love this gown from Alfred Angelo.

I'd like it more if it had lace sleeves like Kate Middleton's gown. I think satin sleeves look like they don't fit right unless you get the impeccable tailoring.

You might remember my previous Twilight post (nearly two years ago!) where I posted early sketches of the gown. The book describes the dress as a 1900s-era wedding gown. I don't think it looks like a 1900s-era gown at all.

Here's the trailer for the movie so you can see the really beautiful ceremony scene. I love all the white hanging flowers..

Serious question: does she EVER close her mouth? She's super pretty, but CLOSE THAT MOUTH.

If you spy any other Twilight-inspired wedding stuff, please let me know!

Shark fin soup seen at fewer Hong Kong weddings

2011-11-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

Shark fin soup is a customary wedding dish in China - serving it honors the wedding guests, and it is seen as a symbol of wealth and prestige.

The problem with shark fin soup is that the shark catches are not tracked, so there's the possibility that the fins come from an endangered species. In addition, shark finning is a brutal practice; sharks are caught, their fins are cut from their bodies, and then they are thrown, live, back into the ocean. Obviously, sharks cannot survive without their fins.

Shark fin stew

Currently, there's a lot of pressure to remove shark fin soup from restaurant and wedding menus, and it might be effective. Several social campaigns are running against the soup tradition:

-Several hotels offer discounts, cheaper room rates, and other incentives for couples that choose not to serve shark fin at their wedding celebrations.

-One online campaign calls on wedding guests to reduce cash gifts by about a third for couples who select the dish.

-Last year campaigners persuaded Citibank Hong Kong to withdraw a promotion offering new credit card holders discount on a shark fin dinner.

- On the mainland Yao Ming, the Chinese NBA star, has appeared in a well-received campaign to end finning, the practice of removing a shark's highly valued fins and dumping what is left into the sea.

Yao Ming and his bride. Keep reading for Mingossip.

Finally, the soup is dropping in popularity.

The manager of one Sheung Wan wholesaler, who asked not to be named, said traders were beginning to feel the impact of the environmental campaign. "Sales are dropping and I think that is down to the campaign," he said. The manager's firm sells between three and four tonnes of shark fin a month.

But there are pockets of resistance, particularly among older people, who still regard eating shark fin as a means of expressing their Chinese identity.

"At weddings you have different people sitting around the same table," says Shea. "Young people understand the problem and want to do something about it, but at some point their parents stop them."

"The Chinese tradition of eating shark fin will be maintained, but will increasingly come from sustainable fisheries," says Lim, a prominent member of Hong Kong's marine products association. Chinese people and traditions do make an easy and readily identifiable target for largely western campaigners. But many western campaigners who are seriously interested in promoting the sustainable use of sharks should look more closely at their home fisheries and the 'boneless' fish products that their children may be eating from the supermarket."

Shark finning seems brutal, and lawless, so I understand the cries to regulate it. I also agree with the sentiment that Westerners/Americans should get their own practices right before criticizing another culture. Everyone's a hypocrite - maybe even Yao Ming. Reports from his wedding state that shark fin was served at his own wedding in 2007 - after he spoke out against shark finning.

It's impossible to expect an immediate change in cultural practices. Hopefully they'll figure out a sustainable way to show status before they wipe out any tasty, tasty shark species, because I doubt this deeply-rooted culture will disappear in time to save any species from extinction.

Interesting date creates dearth of good wedding stories

2011-11-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

Between K.Kardashian, the 11/11/11 wedding date FREAK OUT, and Twilight, all the wedding stories are well-covered. What do you want from me?

Oh, right, weird stuff. Okay, here's some stuff from the past:

Everyone loves/d Steve Jobs, but who likes Bill Gates? ME. The man's a philanthropist. He's the Princess Diana of the tech world, y/y? (HAHA. Don't write me hate mail)

Unfortunately, wedding photos of Bill and Melinda Gates seem to be under lock and key, so here's a fun fact about their engagement:

Bill proposed marriage to Melinda in 1993 when he "secretly diverted a chartered plane they were taking home from Palm Springs one Sunday night to land in Omaha. Warren Buffett met them there, arranged to have a jewelry store open, and helped them pick a ring."

It sounds surreal to me, but they probably just called it Tuesday.

Here they are, healing babbies with their hands.

Henry Rollins officiated a wedding ceremony (off an iPad; sorry Bill!) at the Austin, TX Fun Fun Fun Fest:

He was probably saying important things, but I just like to look at him. Oh, Hank.

No post is complete without a funny picture. In July, a man was arrested after running onto the field during a baseball game. He was wearing a wedding dress.

Here's the happy-ish couple.

Good luck to all you 11-11-11 brides! Next year, good luck getting a dinner reservation at the nice restaurant in town.

-KB

Groom sues photographer for the cost of his wedding

2011-11-07T12:23:00.000-08:00

Todd J. Remis is so disgruntled over the loss of a few key wedding photographs, that he's suing the photographer for the cost of his services, and the cost of the entire wedding. Need more proof that this guy's an asshole? The marriage ended in divorce, and the bride returned to her native Latvia. If you needed another reason to feel protective of the photography studio: one of the photography studio's founders is an immigrant Army veteran, and the studio has been in business for nearly 65 years.

From the article:
But what is striking, said the studio that took the pictures, is that Mr. Remis’s wedding took place in 2003 and he waited six years to sue. And not only has Mr. Remis demanded to be repaid the $4,100 cost of the photography, he also wants $48,000 to recreate the entire wedding and fly the principals to New York so the celebration can be re-shot by another photographer.

The happy, totally-legit couple.

Re-enacting the wedding may pose a particular challenge, the studio pointed out, because the couple divorced and the bride is believed to have moved back to her native Latvia.

Although Justice Doris Ling-Cohan of State Supreme Court in Manhattan dismissed most of the grounds for the lawsuit, like the “infliction of emotional distress,” she has allowed the case to proceed to determine whether there was indeed a breach of contract. But she displayed a good deal of amusement about the lawsuit’s purpose in an opinion in January that quoted lyrics from the Barbra Streisand classic “The Way We Were.”

“This is a case in which it appears that the ‘misty watercolor memories’ and the ‘scattered pictures of the smiles ... left behind’ at the wedding were more important than the real thing,” the judge wrote. “Although the marriage did not last, plaintiff’s fury over the quality of the photographs and video continued on.”

I hope that this bullshit lawsuit peters out, and that the photography studio counter-sues for legal costs. It's a shame that they even have to humor this guy.

Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry auction

2011-11-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth Taylor's jewelry is going to auction. Since we've looked at all of her wedding gowns, it's interesting to see that jewelry up close. It's BIG. I mean, really big. As enormous and glamorous as her jewelry looked on, it looks even bigger and sparklier (it's a word) off.

This is the Elizabeth Taylor Diamond. Can you imagine wearing this on your hand? You'd need a push cart just to keep your arm from getting tired. It's a 33.19 carat diamond, given to Taylor from Richard Burton.

This is the Mike Todd Tiara. I think I'll start naming all of my jewelry. Mike Todd was Taylor's third husband.

This necklace features the Taj Mahal Diamond (okay, seriously, naming jewelry is weird), and it was also a gift from Richard Burton. I like this one - it's very romantic.

This one was also a gift from Richard Burton. It has a name, but I'm tired of the names so look it up.

This one is my favorite. The color is so deep and velvety. This was - surprise! - a gift from Richard Burton.

Last one - another piece from Mike Todd.

What do you think? Yes, it's all very beautiful and extravagant, but would you wear any of this jewelry? I certainly wouldn't. I favor small, simple jewelry, but I still appreciate intricate, delicate jewelry with sparkly stones.

Wedding vs. Marriage

2011-11-01T08:45:00.000-07:00

Here's a wedding story that will help us to all feel more smug about judging those IT'S MY WEDDING!!! people.

Narcissists want weddings, not marriage.

...It is our own entitlement that causes us to obsess over a one-day event. While couples are waiting to get married until their late 20s and early 30s, they may rush into the engagement and wedding planning, McWade said."We all have a degree of narcissism," McWade said. "It can be triggered by an event like this; then people get very warped."

Not every wedding turns into a narcissistic circus, and they aren't all about the expense.

"The wedding is, on the one hand, a healthy way of making a public commitment to each other and acknowledging that you're part of a web of family and friends that helps to nourish the relationship," said Stephen Fabick, a consulting psychologist who specializes in conflict resolution. "But on the other hand, it preps like a cancer, where the focus is on the show and not the long-term or reality of the relationship."

crazy bitch hat

"The emphasis today is largely on the wedding and not on the marriage," she said. "Because you're getting married, people think you're entitled to opulence." And when the wedding becomes about "me" instead of "we" or "her big day" and not "our big day," it can be a warning sign that perhaps this is a union best avoided.

Surviving the task of planning a wedding together and ultimately living together for years and years means being able to support each other during basic decisions or rough patches. Couples who have dated for less than a year often can't even ride out small conflicts or navigate differences, McWade said.

After sitting with couples through countless meetings with lawyers as they face down the disappointment of divorce, McWade has a few tips for entering into a marriage that works. Namely, she doesn't believe that people should become engaged before a year of dating.

"You should know that person for a year and not just get caught up in the hormones, because a lot of the attraction is very physical, but that does not mean that people are able to live together for the rest of their lives,"

Second only to addiction, McWade claims, narcissism is the ultimate relationship killer and a significant factor in many of the divorce cases she has witnessed.

Narcissists lack self-esteem and live in an internal world, one that they can attract another person to and form a relationship around because they can read other people and manipulate them. It becomes a parasitic relationship, with all of the affection going to the narcissist, McWade said.

"The best type of relationship is one where people are really independent on their own, and then they get together to share their experiences and love for each other," she said. "That they have full lives on both sides and that both people are pretty balanced on each side, and to be able to maintain that for a year -- that's the best."

This article was written in response to the Kardashian divorce news that shocked the world as much as blue skies and green grass.

Wedding gown DIY - Lydia Deetz

2011-10-27T08:27:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for an awesome, wedding-related Halloween costume, look no further than your local thrift store. Crafty person Mizerella took an ugly, outdated wedding gown and sprayed it blood red to look like the childbride wedding gown from Beetlejuice.

You know what I mean:

She spray painted a gown with fabric paint, and then used red tulle (ahh, tulle: every bridesmaid's worst friend) to add a veil, and some texture to the dress.

I have personally used this type of paint. It's easy to work with, but the pump spray will give you some nasty hand cramps if you have to use it a lot.

Check out her results!

It looks a bit like a waitress uniform at a Mexican restaurant until...

Veil and creepy make-up!

This is a great craft. I'll bet it could be done in a few days if you're looking for a gotta-have-it costume before Monday. Maybe I'll do this next year?

Happy Spooky Weekend!

Kay

'Til death, and beyond

2011-10-25T15:42:00.000-07:00

This story is romantic, and a bit macabre - perfect for the almost-Halloween season.

The skeletal remains of a Roman-era couple reveal the pair has been holding hands for 1,500 years.

Italian archaeologists say the man and woman were buried at the same time between the 5th and 6th century A.D. in central-northern Italy. Wearing a bronze ring, the woman is positioned so she appears to be gazing at her male partner.

The two skeletons, which are poorly preserved, will be now studied by Giorgio Gruppioni, an anthropologist at the University of Bologna. The research includes establishing the couple's age, their relationship and the possible cause of death.

"We believe that they were originally buried with their faces staring into each other. The position of the man's vertebrae suggests that his head rolled after death," Donato Labate, the director of the excavation at the archaeological superintendency of Emilia-Romagna, told Discovery News.

In 2007 another skeleton couple, buried between 5,000 and 6,000 years ago, was found at a neolithic site near Mantua, just 25 miles south of Verona, where Shakespeare set the romantic story of Romeo and Juliet.

"In antiquity, it is not surprising to learn of spouses or members of a family dying at the same time: whenever epidemics such as the Black Plague ravaged Europe, one member of the family would often die while the family was trying to bury another member," Kristina Killgrove, a biological anthropologist at the University of North Carolina, told Discovery News.

Locked in a tender embrace, they also looked at one another in apparent defiance of time and decay.

"The two couples are separated in time by five millennia, and both evoke an uplifting tenderness. I have been involved in many digs, but I've never felt so moved," Labate said.

According to Killgrove, the positioning of the Modena skeletons, looking at one another and holding hands, indeed suggests they may have been a couple.

"Whoever buried these people likely felt that communicating their relationship was just as important in death as it was in life," Killgrove said.

Am I sick (don't answer that), or is the picture really heart-warming? Look at those two - they really loved each other! Or, more realistically, they really learned to tolerate each other's annoying habits.

Occupy Wa...wedding

2011-10-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

A couple in Oakland have decided to continue with their wedding plans to marry on the Oakland courthouse steps, despite the Occupy Oakland protest. Latrina Rhinehart and Matheo Chavez - great-nephew of Cesar Chavez - aren't bothered by the protesters because the couple supports them. Also, they're a super-cute couple!

View more videos at: http://nbcbayarea.com.

The protesters say that they're honored to be included in the ceremony.

-KB

Goth wedding gowns

2011-10-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

Check out these gorgeous black-and-gothy wedding gowns from Vera Wang. Is all the zombie and Twilight popularity with the normies making Goth mainstream?

It looks like gray tulle under a black gown. How depressingly romantic!

The gown on the left looks like something out of a 19th century London period-piece movie. The gown on the right is my obsession.

I love the corset/bustle style on this one. If I had to choose from these gowns, this is the one I favor the most because it has so much structure.

I wish there was more detail - the mermaid style with fluffy stuff is so gorgeous!

These dresses make me miss the funny dancing at the Goth/Industrial clubs back in the good old days. Can't you just see these girls stomping it out on the dancefloor - eyeliner running and cigarette dangling from hand? HAHA.

-KB

How to be a good wedding guest

2011-10-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

Maybe you've read my piece on planning a wedding without looking like an asshole, or post-wedding don'ts. Since I'm so fond of dispensing unsolicited wedding advice, I thought I'd write a little something about how to be a good wedding guest. I just attended a really beautiful wedding, and being the judgmental bitch that I am, I couldn't help but notice some judge-able wedding guests.

Rule #1 (and the most important rule): BE ON TIME. Seriously. Leave your house thirty minutes earlier than you need to, and be prepared to sit around for a while. A lot of care and planning went into the evening, the least you can do is be in your place before the bride comes out. If you show up right before the bride, you'll be standing around looking awkward, and generally detracting from the important vow exchange that's about to take place.

Obvious rule is obvious: don't be a drunk asshole

Rule #2: Wait your turn. The bride and groom will get to you when they get to you. You're not at the wedding to hang out with the couple, you're there to support them. If they need you, they'll ask for you. If they don't, they'll just come by and say hi, and you can see them again another time. If you're an out-of-town guest then the couple should spend a little extra time with you, but if you see these friends on a regular basis, don't expect a lot of face time.

Rule #3: Don't compare the day to your own wedding. If you have a funny story that is about weddings, that's okay, but don't brag about how great or how much more expensive your special day was. It's not the right time for your stories of self-indulgence, it's a day to celebrate the newlyweds.

I'm sure there are roughly 1000 more wedding guest don'ts, but they're probably all common sense things like "send back the RSVP card on time" and "dress appropriately". Everyone knows those things, and if they don't they're jerks!

-KB

Super awesome wedding invitations

2011-10-14T10:31:00.001-07:00

Lately, I've been playing Super Mario World - a game I had TWENTY years ago. I still get suck on Tubular in the special levels. Right? Back me up on how hard that level is.

Anyway.

Check out this awesome wedding package from Larry T Quach. The invitations, seating chart, place cards, and wedding favors are all taken from elements of the Nintendo classic Super Mario Brothers.

The cartridge invitation comes in a black sleeve. I'd totally forgotten about the sleeves until I saw this.

Open up the invitation for the information and a look at the game "works".

These were the wedding favors.

Inside is a little card. Don't take the heart, Mario! Lakitu's gifts are always a ruse.

And this is the card that guests use to mark which meal they chose - ha! I love it.

There are a ton more photos, plus explanation from the designer at the source.

-KB

I Hate Weddings

2011-10-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

I recently found this site: I Hate Weddings. The writer really, really hates weddings, and his friends (I presume). I can't blame him. As much as I love weddings, I hate the self-indulgent attitude that some couples adopt.

Here are some of my favorites:

Passive-aggressive way to taunt a bride:

I don't think I have ever RSVPed for a wedding. Not RSVPing used to be my way of forcing friends who disappeared off the face of the Earth after they got engaged to call me. Oh? Joe hasn't had the time to call anyone back since his three engagement parties? Not RSVPing will force Joe or his fiance to call you.

My other friend "Barney" and his wife refused to call people who weren't RSVPing. Instead "Mrs. Barney" sent RSVP "overdue notices" and "final warning" letters. After the "final warning" letter she just assumed the invitees weren't coming. I don't know if any invitees who missed the "final warning" showed up to their wedding anyway.

If I see this at your wedding, I will punch you.

Wedding Gift Calculator (my favorite!):

The biggest chore for a wedding guest is to decide how much money to put in the envelope. Not all weddings are equal. Therefore every couple getting married does not deserve the same gift. When giving a gift for a wedding there are many factors you should consider so that you don't look cheap and more importantly so that you don't give too much.

When you give cash is to remember to give it at the end of the reception. This gives you a chance to have fun and look at how much work the bride and groom put into the event. It also gives you a chance to consider how much work YOU put into the event. Remember, its not the gift, it’s the thought that counts. If you put a lot of thought into a wedding . . . you should give money.

I start off with a base figure of $75.00.

You brought a date to the wedding.
Add $75.00

You were invited to bring a date but couldn't find one.
Add $25.00

You were not invited to bring a date.
Subtract $25.00

You were not invited to bring a date but brought one anyway.

Add $5.00

Open Bar for alcohol
Add $25.00

Cash Bar for alcohol
(*Ask for a receipt every time you order a drink. Deduct the total amount of money you spent on alcohol. Then put the receipts in the envelope with your gift)

Dinner is served Buffet Style
Subtract $10.00

The reception is a Denny's Breakfast buffet.
Subtract $20.00

Cash Bar for soda **
(**If they charge you for soda at the wedding DO NOT GIVE A GIFT. Immediately,
go to the bride, kick her in the shin and then go home.)

HAHAHA. There's a more detailed list of wedding gift calculations at the link.

It's safe to say that this guy's friends do NOT follow my rules for getting married without being an asshole.

-KB

Photo found via another funny site.

Steve Jobs and Laurene Powell

2011-10-06T10:15:00.000-07:00

As you're surely heard by now, Steve Jobs died yesterday.

Jobs was married for twenty years, until his death, so let's look at his married life.

Steve Jobs an Laurene Powell wed on March 18, 1991 at the Awahnee Hotel in Yosemite National park. Jobs was Buddhist (I assume she was too?) so their ceremony was officiated by a Zen Buddhist monk. The two met at Stanford University when he was speaking to a class.

The Awahnee Hotel - it's gorgeous!

Looking cute and crunchy.

I don't know if this is actually their wedding photo, but it's obviously an early photo of the two.

Jobs has four children - three with Powell, and one with another woman from his early life, Chrisann Brennan.

Here's a more recent photo of Jobs and Powell

I love that an innovative man wore the exact same clothes all the time.

In addition to being married, Steve Jobs once performed the service of Wedding Photographer at Larry Ellison's marriage to Melanie Craft in 2003. And I'd bet that a huge percentage of professional wedding photographers use Mac computers and software.

Thanks for the productivity and time-wasting devices, Steve.

-KB

Source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Angela from The Office got married

2011-10-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

She's not real, but since I watch embarrassing amounts of Office re-runs, I was excited when Angela got married. Maybe "excited" isn't right - Angela's a stone-cold bitch. What is her problem, right?! Why is she so rude to everyone, and why would anyone groom her cat with her tongue? Gross. I guess the writers are setting Angela up for failure since The Senator - the man Angela married - is super gay. This was confirmed by Oscar and Ryan, and it blew Pam's little mind since she only knows two gay people.

Anyway, if you're an Office addict like me, you'll be interested to see these stock photographs that NBC posted on their website instead of filming a webisode devoted to Angela's wedding (humph).

This was one of the most notable summers of my life. My tabby cat Noodles had kittens. And oh yes, no big deal... I got married to the Senator!!!

I wanted to hire a planner, but Robert had so many visions for the wedding that I didn't need to! He even chose my dress from a photo he saw in Vanity Fair. [Because he is gay! Don't let it hit you in the head.]

The guest list was very high society. Everyone from Ted Brown (D-NJ) to Maria Leahy (R-MN) came. Michael Reed (R-FL) said our crostini was the best he ever had. [I'd firebomb my own wedding if politicians showed up, but status is important to Angela.]

The band was wonderful, and we had such a good time dancing to Blondie and Chaka Kahn covers at Robert's request. Everyone enjoyed it, especially his assistant.

My expensive, elegant wedding may not have suited every woman, say Pam or Phyllis, but it was perfect for me. I'm looking forward to a long, fruitful marriage.

I'm really curious to see how Angela's baby changes things. Will Angela ever discover that The Senator is gay? And will it end in divorce? Angela is so religious, it seems like she'd never allow herself to be divorced, but churchy types tend to be the most hypocritical, so maybe divorce is okay when she does it. I noticed that Angela's wardrobe was less conservative now that she's "little pregs". Is marriage changing Angela as a person?

Is it possible I'm over-thinking this television program?

Answer: No, it is not.

-KB

Sean Connery in a wedding gown

2011-09-30T12:38:00.001-07:00

Here's a random image to send you off into the weekend:

Sean Connery in a wedding gown. Supposedly from Zardoz in 1974. What the what?

-KB

Cute film from 1956 - puppies get married

2011-09-28T11:29:00.000-07:00

This clip is from a 1956 newsreel about Alexandra Williams, a champion breeder of Pekingese Dogs.

The bride wore a full ivory dress with crochet trim, a floor-length veil, and carried a tiny bouquet of silver and yellow flowers. The groom wore a black classic tuxedo with jaunty top hat.

One bridesmaid wore a blue dress, blue floral headpiece, and carried a basket of flowers, while the other bridesmaid wore a salmon pink gown and carried a bouquet.

No word on whether these poor puppies were drugged to be so docile while humans made them wear embarrassing clothes.

The video quality is impressive, right?! The clip is from British Pathe, an old-timey newsreel company that show in very high quality.

-KB

Elizabeth Taylor's wedding gowns will go to auction

2011-09-26T11:02:00.000-07:00

Two of Elizabeth Taylor's wedding gowns, along with many of her other custom-made clothes, will go to auction on December 15.

Not only clothing, the auction is said to include hundreds of purses, scarves and other accessories owned and worn by the actress. Taylor’s iconic jewelry, including a ruby necklace that contains a 16th century pearl, is expected to fetch millions.

Wedding gown #1 (to Burton; #5 for Taylor)

Though the jewelry may bring in the most money, the real stars of the show will be Taylor’s two wedding dresses. The gowns were worn in 1964 and 1975 at her weddings to Richard Burton. The pair wed twice, for the first time in 1964 living “happily ever after” for 10 years before getting divorced in 1974. The couple reconciled and married again in 1975. Their second marriage lasted a mere 11 months and eventually ended in divorce.

Click the link for more details about Elizabeth Taylor's weddings to Richard Burton.

Her small, second wedding to Burton took place in Botswana.

A portion of the proceeds of the auction will reportedly go to benefit the Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation. The foundation, set up by Elizabeth Taylor in 1991 is her legacy in the fight against AIDs. The actress became an outspoken advocate for those living with AIDS in a time when it was a taboo subject. The foundation works primarily with providing services to those affected by the disease.

-KB

First Don't Ask, Don't Tell wedding

2011-09-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

DADT was repealed yesterday and that immediately prompted 16-year Navy veteran Gary Ross to marry his long-time boyfriend Dan Swezy.

From Vermont:
The couple traveled from Arizona where same-sex marriage is not legal to get married at the Moose Meadow Lodge in Duxbury, the same location as the first same-sex marriage in Vermont back in 2009.

"It means a lot to me just because I'm a part of it. I'm a part of history. So that's what makes it exciting for me," said Greg Trulson, co-owner of the Moose Meadow Lodge.

Though the couple is making history, they say they aren't getting hitched just to make headlines. "We didn't come here at the stroke of midnight to be the first or to make news," Swezy said. "We came here because we wanted to get married for years and we didn't want to wait a moment longer than we had to."

But Ross says hiding his relationship any longer would be a dishonor to his duties. "As an officer in the military I am expected to be a leader. And it would be a huge waste of the taxpayers' money if I stopped leading now just because I was a little bit nervous about people's reactions," Ross said.

Though he says he has some apprehension about returning to work Thursday, Ross hopes it will soon be back to business as usual. "I'm still gonna come to work in my same uniform, I'm still gonna boot up my computer and read my emails, pour my tea, whatever I do… nothing's going to change. And I hope once people realize that that everyone will be OK with that," he said.

Ross now proudly wears his Naval Academy ring on his right hand and a wedding band on his left, displaying his love for his country and for his new husband.

The couple says they made the decision to come to Vermont partially because it's one of six states allowing same-sex marriage and also because it's Eastern Standard time-- they wanted to be married the first moment they legally could.

I'm sure I've mentioned how much I LOVE military uniforms - especially at weddings. I think they're adorable, and I love the matching white-on-white bowties. The Moose Meadow Lodge is very beautiful and masculine at the same time, so it's perfect for them. The website says the Lodge is close to Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream factory, but remember Misters Ross-Swezy that a wedding is no place for ice cream. Cake or GTFO! :) Congratulations!

-KB

Renew your vows on the Weezer cruise

2011-09-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

It seems that celebrity cruises are all the rage (not Celebrity brand cruises, but cruises with celebrities), and Weezer is jumping on the cruise wagon. For as little as $500 you can cruise from Miami to Cozumel with Weezer, Dinosaur Jr, Sebadoh, and The Knocks.

"Weezer bassist Scott Shriner [will be] performing ceremonies for married couples to renew their vows.

This reminds me of the Bruce Campbell zombie wedding and mass vow renewal - maybe vow renewal is a trend with these celebrity events?

The rest of the Weezer cruise details:
Drummer Pat Wilson will challenge fans in a shuffleboard tournament, while guitarist Brian Bell will host a midnight movie pajama party and Weezer frontman, Rivers Cuomo, will read selections from his book The Pinkerton Diaries.

I know there are some ravenous Weezer fans out there who will readily pay $500 for special performances and a meet-and-greet with the band. I guess it's like a music festival on the water - hopefully with better food and sanitation!

Here's my favorite Weezer song:

-KB

Adorable mini wedding cakes in your own kitchen

2011-09-07T16:13:00.000-07:00

I don't know how it's possible that I don't have this:

ADORABLE! My favorite baking blog Baking Bites recently posted this adorable cake mold. It makes tiny tiered cakes - aka wedding cakes without all the excessive frosting and gross-tasting fondant.

Needless to say, Me Wantee!

Not the Onion: Wedding inspires a lack of vanity

2011-09-02T16:12:00.000-07:00

There are some people who cannot resist their own reflection - I once had dinner with a guy who was so busy looking at his reflection in a window that he faced the window to watch himself speak. Weird, right? Kjerstin Gruys is the opposite of that guy; she has vowed to avoid her own reflection until after her upcoming wedding.

Behold: Last March, the 28-year-old PhD student embarked on a year-long project, banning herself from gazing at her own reflection — no mirrors, no reflective surface at all.

Gruys started the project, which she chronicles on her blog Mirror Mirror … OFF The Wall, after an exhausting March day spent shopping for her wedding dress. “All these insecurities about my body came out after staring at myself all day.”

She later posted on her blog, "At some point my dress search stopped being fun. I hated feeling vain, insecure and indecisive. Never one for subtleties, I rejected these obsessions by rejecting my reflection."

It isn’t an issue that women use mirrors, Gruys says. "It’s that they stare at themselves — even though there is often no new information. So it represents a loss of time and energy. They use mirrors as a tool to turn their bodies into a project, something to improve and work on."

Over the past six months Gruys has not cracked although her resolve has been tested, mostly when she was feeling lonely. On those occasions she gets metaphysical. Mirrors have helped her through periods when she’s questioned her value and even her existence. “When I have those ‘Who am I?’ moments, I feel the urge to look at myself.” She had also had been looking to mirrors for affirmation. “I felt my mirror was my companion.”

The project is about trust, says Gruys — and not just trusting that someone will tell her if there is spinach or a poppyseed stuck in her teeth. She has had to learn to trust compliments. “Before when someone said I looked great I wondered if they meant it.” She admits she often ran to a mirror to make up her own mind about whether the compliment was justified.

As she prepares for the final fitting of her wedding dress in early September, Gruys has assembled a coterie of friends, she says, who she trusts will tell her if the dress is all it should be. So if her friends say yes to the dress — that will have to do.

What do you think? I respect her mission - it's true that women spend an exhausting amount of time criticizing appearances. It's not useful or productive. Weddings especially have so much vanity tied in with them; maybe she'll enjoy the day more if she's not obsessed with looking and being "perfect".

-KB

Sofia Coppola and her purple wedding dress

2011-08-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

Don't get too excited, because it's not Prince purple, but dusty Eeyore purple. Still, it's a very pretty dress.

Sofia Coppola got married in Italy last weekend. Blahblah celebrity blah. Let's just look at the dress. Here's the article if you want to read all the details. I don't really care, I just like the pictures.

Here's Sofia Coppola with her new husband. The dress is a silvery-purple with a light, fluffy texture. I love it!

In this shot you can see the full, short skirt and more of the pattern.

But then in this photo, I question the dress. I love the simple sleeve with the belted top, but the skirt looks a little like a kid's dress.

And then she changed into a coral-colored strapless dress with chunky, brightly-colored heels.

Cute, right? I like seeing pictures of alternative wedding style. And I hope you do too because this has zero substance. Yay, substance-free!

-KB

Wedding crasher was a total wiener

2011-08-29T10:59:00.000-07:00

Last week my favorite fist-wavers The Consumerist posted a story about an unusual wedding crasher.

From a Consumerist reader:
My sister got married this weekend at a church in Dewitt, NY and while we were all getting our photos taken, we saw the Oscar Meyer Wiener-mobile nearby. We waved to it and, to our surprise, it pulled into the church parking lot!

They pulled up to us, handed out wiener whistles and allowed us to take pictures in front of it. Such awesome behavior will certainly ensure that I'll be picking up a few of their products on my next trip to the store!

Yay! I strangely LOVE the Wiener-mobile. I've seen it twice. The first time was during high school summer break; I saw it rolling down the street at the beach. The second time was at the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit where I purchased several wiener whistles for...reasons.

Have a day!

-KB

Entire planet swarmed with axe-wielding brides-to-be

2011-08-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

Okay, the title is misleading...a LOT misleading, but I like sciencey stuff, and I find this article interesting.

Astronomers have spotted an exotic planet that seems to be made of diamond racing around a tiny star in our galactic backyard. The new planet is far denser than any other known so far and consists largely of carbon. Because it is so dense, scientists calculate the carbon must be crystalline, so a large part of this strange world will effectively be diamond.

See? I tied it into wedding stuff with my amazing image manipulation skills. Where are you going?

"The evolutionary history and amazing density of the planet all suggest it is comprised of carbon -- i.e. a massive diamond orbiting a neutron star every two hours in an orbit so tight it would fit inside our own Sun," said Matthew Bailes of Swinburne University of Technology in Melbourne.

Lying 4,000 light years away, or around an eighth of the way toward the center of the Milky Way from the Earth, the planet is probably the remnant of a once-massive star that has lost its outer layers to the so-called pulsar star it orbits.

Pulsars are tiny, dead neutron stars that are only around 20 kilometers (12.4 miles) in diameter and spin hundreds of times a second, emitting beams of radiation. In the case of pulsar J1719-1438, the beams regularly sweep the Earth and have been monitored by telescopes in Australia, Britain and Hawaii, allowing astronomers to detect modulations due to the gravitational pull of its unseen companion planet.

The measurements suggest the planet, which orbits its star every two hours and 10 minutes, has slightly more mass than Jupiter but is 20 times as dense, Bailes and colleagues reported in the journal Science on Thursday.

In addition to carbon, the new planet is also likely to contain oxygen, which may be more prevalent at the surface and is probably increasingly rare toward the carbon-rich center.

Its high density suggests the lighter elements of hydrogen and helium, which are the main constituents of gas giants like Jupiter, are not present.

Just what this weird diamond world is actually like close up, however, is a mystery.

"In terms of what it would look like, I don't know I could even speculate," said Ben Stappers of the University of Manchester. "I don't imagine that a picture of a very shiny object is what we're looking at here."

Yay, science!

-KB

Earthquake interrupts wedding

2011-08-24T10:11:00.000-07:00

Oh, poor East Coast people. You have shitty weather, and now you have earthquakes too? This cute couple had their wedding interrupted by yesterday's earthquake. Steve and Amy Mutton were getting ready to officially marry at the City Hall Chapel in New York when the earthquake started.

"We were in the chapel waiting," said Mutton, a 40-year-old IT consultant from London. "All of a sudden, they started evacuating the building." The rumbling, stemming from a quake that measured 5.8 on the Richter Scale and centered in Virginia, was over in just seconds.

His bride, Amy Mutton, 36, a project manager from Park Ridge, N.J., insisted it was a good omen and they went ahead and got hitched after the earth stopped moving. "It's not something we could have planned on. So you've got to go with it and get on with it, don't you?" she said.

Still, she was a little rattled. "I'm gonna go home and have some champagne now," she said.

The couple met in 2007 when she went to London for business. She will move to London to be with him. They planned the wedding five weeks ago.

-KB

Discounted diamond ring

2011-08-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

I love Costco. It's hard not to feel like a queen when I leave with my enormous cart of 700-calorie muffins and steaks as big as my head.

If you're looking to save some money on your engagement ring and you REALLY want to feel like a queen then Costco is the place for you. This ring will save you roughly $500,000!

It's a 6.20ct diamond ring set in platinum for (pinky to mouth) one. MILLION. dollars.

The site says there's only one available. I'm sure there's someone out there rich enough to buy it. I'm curious of the back story. Does Costco have extravagant items like this all the time, or does the buyer just...randomly find 6 carat diamonds? Mystery.

-KB

Surprise wedding - for the bride

2011-08-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

A guy named Shawn wanted to propose to his girlfriend Colleen in the most insane way possible - at their wedding.

He explains that over the course of several months, he asked her seemingly-innocent questions about her dream wedding while he was secretly planning their ACTUAL wedding. When he proposes, she doesn't seem that shocked about it (IMO proposals should never be a total surprise), but she is completely shocked that her bridesmaids are present, dressed, and ready to take her to get her dressed too.

Even my heart of stone is weakened by this couple. She's elated, and he is so sweet. He even went to all the trouble of bringing her entire bedroom to the ceremony site so that she would have everything necessary to get ready. That's so thoughtful.

-KB

Bert and Ernie won't marry

2011-08-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

This article contains an hi-larious description of puppet sexual preference.

[Producers of the] 40 year-old TV series [Sesame Street] dismissed the idea of a made-for-TV, same-sex puppet wedding in response to an online campaign and petition to have the two "Sesame Street" characters get married as a way to beat homophobia and encourage tolerance of gay people.

In recent days, almost 9,000 people have signed a petition encouraging the wedding at http://www.change.org and/or become friends of a special "Bert and Ernie Get Married" Facebook page, sparking a lively debate on Twitter and other social media.

Bert, who is fascinated by pigeons and gets easily upset, and oval-headed, free spirit Ernie, have lived together at 123 Sesame Street since 1969. They share a bedroom, but sleep in single beds. Sesame Workshop noted on Thursday that as puppets, Bert and Ernie don't have sexual preferences.

"Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves. Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics, they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation," Sesame Workshop said in a statement posted on its official Facebook page.

The change.org petition had argued that their marriage would help to put an end to bullying and suicides of gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual young people. "We are not asking that 'Sesame Street' do anything crude or disrespectful by allowing Bert & Ernie to marry. It can be done in a tasteful way," the petition read.

I think it's really funny that they had to release an Official Statement RE: The sexual preference of puppets. Can't we just leave Bert and Ernie alone? If they are indeed gay, and IF they want to come out, then I will support them. I refuse to speculate about the private busines of two guys who have always been my supportive friends.

-KB

Oh, hi Mark! Why are you at my wedding?

2011-08-11T12:45:00.000-07:00

Fans of THE ROOM, you might enjoy this country music video featuring Greg Sestero.

If you're like me then most modern country music is shrill ear-torture, but this video has a twist that you might appreciate.

Did you miss my last post about THE ROOM? I treat you like a princess...and you stab me in the back. Here it is.

-KB

Awkward live proposal

2011-08-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

A local TV news crew was filming some fluff piece at an airport when they unwittingly caught a proposal in the background. The shot was live, and it was really sweet until the news reporter caught wind of it and used her quick-thinking to railroad a special moment.

Oh, local newscasters...is there anything you can get right?

-KB

Scariest wedding crasher ever

2011-08-08T10:03:00.001-07:00

Bears: godless killing machines. And terrible wedding crashers.

It was a wedding party at an exclusive Taos resort but the two bears were not invited. A 300 pound mother bear and her cub crashed a wedding at the El Monte Sagrado Resort here on Sunday afternoon as they romped across lawns and climbed trees as wedding guests grabbed their cameras.

New Mexico Game and Fish officer Matt Pengelly hit the bear with a well-aimed dart from his tranquilizer gun after 10 p.m. as it sat perched in a tree about 30 feet off the ground. The bears “messed up a wedding,” said Pengelly, as he readied his rifle for action. His Doberman named Mala, Taos police officers and resort security kept an eye on the bear as Pengelly got ready.

“This is the first time I have seen a bear here but we have had several bear complaints in the area and I think it’s probably the same bear,” said Pengelly.

Pengelly asked every one present to remain quiet so that the tranquilizer would take effect more quietly. Several minutes later the bear crashed to the ground and Pengelly checked to make sure no bones were broken.

“I heard it over the (in-house) radio calling all departments,” said front desk office manager Christy Newton. “That there was a bear on the property.”

Resort security guards said they had to keep guests back from the bears as they went from one tree right next to where the wedding was taking place inside to another tree further away. “The cub was climbing the tree and the mom was watching it and it fell,” said Newton. “It was cute.” The cub ran off while it’s mother stayed in the tree.

Taos police officers Ron Montez and Lloyd Garcia stood by before Pengelly’s arrival to “make sure guests didn’t wander out there,” said Garcia. Pengelly carted the bear away in his truck to contain it overnight before he was to release it into the wild. The late rains have not done enough to provide natural food for bears and there have been numerous recent bear incidents, Pengelly said recently.

Here's my theory: the bear spied her dream wedding and wanted to be the center of attention.

TELL ME I LOOK PRETTY

-kb

Hobo-themed wedding: assholes or awwww?

2011-08-03T12:33:00.001-07:00

Is this a cute, vintage theme wedding with a can-do attitude, or assholery that mocks the impoverished?

Regretsy and Etsy both tell the tale of a couple who had a hobo-themed wedding. The bride's write-up says that her limited budget and personal interest in depression-era culture put the pieces together for a hobo wedding. Regretsy says they're dickheads who mercilessly mock the poor unfortunate souls who struggled through the real depression.

the hobo couple

hobo campfire

hobo...invitations?

I'm not sure why the couple insisted on calling it a HOBO wedding. It seems to me that it's a pretty flippant attitude toward the actual poverty that exists in the world. A depression-themed wedding could still have this same "come together" feel without mocking the thousands of people who survived (and didn't survive) a terrible time in American history. Starvation, illness, and homelessness are not romantic.

It is a cute wedding, but the hobo theme definitely leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

-KB

Computer conducts couple's wedding

2011-08-01T11:21:00.000-07:00

Miguel Hanson and Diana Wesley couldn't decide on a human to officiate their wedding, so they programmed a computer to do it. They got married this Saturday, and here's their story:

Hanson, a Houston web developer and IT consultant, created the minister software program when the couple couldn't get a friend to serve as the minister at their wedding. "I was like, you know I'm going to write my own minister," Hanson said.

Wesley, a high school sign language teacher, said she's aware of the nerd jokes that might come the couple's way once more people hear about the wedding. But the couple says being married by a computer fits who they are. They met through a website called "Sweet on Geeks" and love science fiction and fantasy.

"That's kind of our thing," Wesley said. "In fact, my maid of honor, she's making my cake and she's making it with Nerds (candy) as the topping and not icing. That's kind of the theme, the geeked out wedding."

[Oh ma ga! I love this idea! But NO frosting? Hmm...]

The ceremony will take place in Hanson's parents' backyard in Houston. Wesley, 30, said she wanted a small wedding, and the couple started planning it after Hanson, 33, proposed in May.
The computer will greet the couple's 30 or so guests in a mechanical, robotic voice, give a little history about how they met and then go through the ceremony. The virtual minister, nicknamed "Rev. Bit," also will crack a joke or two.

"If anyone here has anything to say that might change their minds or has any objections, they do not want to hear it and I will not recognize your objections since Miguel has programmed me to only recognize his commands," said the program during a preview that Hanson played on his home computer. It's HAL 9000 meets "Here Comes the Bride."

While Hanson wrote the software program, the couple collaborated on the text the computer will recite during the ceremony. They said their friends instantly like the idea. But some family members took a little longer to warm up to it. "A couple members of the family were like, `Really? A computer?' I think once they see it. ... It's novel and so it's something they haven't seen," Wesley said.

There's a video of the ceremony here, though the audio only worked about half the time for me.

-KB

Friday funny - dog wedding photographer

2011-07-29T14:10:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what I'm doing

Paralyzed bride receives corporate-sponsored gift

2011-07-28T12:24:00.000-07:00

Last week the story of Rachelle Friedman was making the news; she's the woman who was paralyzed at her bachelorette party.

This week she's received a nice gift from Toyota. Most young women don't want mini-vans, but this is a nice gesture. She and her new husband received a Sienna Rampvan to accommodate her wheelchair. The van will put an end to Rachelle having to be carried in and out of the family SUV.

According to the press release, she plays quad-rugby. This girl is a badass! I hope the good stuff keeps coming for her.

-KB

Parents: Always mildly annoying

2011-07-25T11:24:00.001-07:00

Don't get me wrong, parents are awesome, but sometimes there's an issue they just won't stop pushing.

This article outlines gay couples who are being pressured into marriage by their parents; now that gay marriage is legal in New York, their parents want them to make it official. Here's an excerpt:

One parent seeking that official stamp is Vicki Robinson, 58, a physics professor at the National Technical Institute for the Deaf in Rochester. Ever since Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo signed the same-sex marriage bill on June 24, Ms. Robinson has been nudging her 27-year-old daughter, Stephanie Pollanen, to marry her girlfriend of six years, Lindsay Hall.

“I’m a Bible-thumping Lutheran who just got my church to put rainbow stickers on their door,” said Ms. Robinson, who is divorced and uses her maiden name. “If they were married, I would feel more like I could write Lindsay’s name in the family Bible in ink.”

But her daughter has refused to share her thoughts on marriage, so Ms. Robinson has taken to following her daughter’s Twitter feed for signs of matrimonial chatter.

“I intercepted a Twitter tweet of my daughter’s one day to a friend indicating that perhaps a wedding was on the horizon,” she said. “So I took my daughter and her girlfriend out to dinner and bought several rounds of martinis, and her partner happened to spill that they had discussed plans for a fall wedding.”

Nothing has been set, but that has not stopped Ms. Robinson from planning the big day in her head.

“Lindsay is small and adorable, so I see her in a flapper thing in ivory silk with an overlapping handkerchief hem and a cloche,” she said. “My daughter is larger than Lindsay and very curvy, so I see her in an old-fashioned off-the-shoulder wedding dress with a big skirt.”

Table settings and menus have also been considered.

“I also see lots of flowers and a string quartet with a band for dancing after,” Ms. Robinson added. “The food would be fabulous and exotic, maybe something sort of Moroccan-Middle Eastern.”

Wow, Mom. That isn't just pressure, it's a boa constrictor.

-KB

January-December wedding photos emerge

2011-07-21T11:45:00.000-07:00

I love a good Hollywood scandal, so of course I've been following this trainwreck of a marriage. A 51-year-old actor married a 16-year-old girl, and they claim it's TRULUV4EVR. The girl's mom claims her daughter has never had plastic surgery, and is a moral young woman; the newlyweds claim they didn't have sex before their marriage and that their relationship is true.

Now the world can further judge them because they've released their wedding photos:

Lots more at the source

I looked at his IMDB page, and despite having seen a lot of his work, I can barely remember him.

So maybe they're both getting what they want - attention, infamy, and sex. Good for them?

-KB

Watch out for your bridesmaids

2011-07-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Don't get me wrong - this is a really sweet story about a long-term couple that takes the "sickness and health" part of their vows seriously.

A year ago, Rachelle Friedman was suddenly paralyzed, and it put her wedding to Chris Chapman on hold for a year. Their current upcoming wedding is getting national attention and lots of donations - it's a dream wedding now for a couple that has been through hell.

But listen to how the bride was paralyzed:

Days before the ceremony [last year], fate twisted their plans in another direction.

At her bachelorette party, a friend's playful push landed Friedman awkwardly in the shallow end of a pool. Doctors said she was permanently paralyzed.

First, I'm sure that friend feels awful, but there's a sick joke about an ugly taffeta dress in there somewhere.

The bottom line? Love is forever, but don't fuck with your bridesmaids.

Seriously though, good luck to them both. They're a cute couple.

-KB

Dancing wedding kid

2011-07-19T10:10:00.000-07:00

Found via Reddit.

Wedding guests get food poisoning

2011-07-18T12:10:00.001-07:00

Last week, shortly after declaring the entire wedding world boring, I got hideous food poisoning that took me out for the rest of the week. Because my mind is always in the wedding gutter, I was in a cold sweat, barfing my guts up and thinking "I wonder how many times people have gotten food poisoning at a wedding reception?". I Googled it - it happens all the time! Here's the most recent case:

Ninety-two people were hospitalized on Saturday in the northwestern province of Düzce [Turkey] shortly after sharing the same wedding dinner, leading to suspicions of food poisoning.

The Anatolia news agency reported that they were served chicken and pilaf at a wedding in the neighborhood of Aziziye. The 92 people all went to the hospital with complaints of nausea and vomiting. They were then diagnosed with food poisoning. The victims have been receiving treatment at various hospitals in Düzce.

I love that he's on his phone. I got food poisoning and double-eliminated right on the dance floor. Can you believe that?

Meanwhile, officials from the Düzce Provincial Agriculture Directorate took samples from the wedding meal to further investigate. Officials from the Düzce Provincial Health Directorate also took samples from the water the guests drank in order to find out if it was the water that had caused them to be ill.

If this happened at my wedding, I would feel so awful. Brides always worry about things that will ruin their wedding day, and truly this is one of them.

Eat safe!

-Kay

Bor-ing

2011-07-12T11:55:00.001-07:00

There's nothing good going on in the world of weddings right now. Kim Kardashian, Prince of Monaco, blahblahblech. So it seems like a good time for a break. I'll be back next week with...stuff?

For now, here's a picture of an awesome Homer and Marge wedding cake.

xo,

Kay

I Moo.

2011-07-07T11:07:00.000-07:00

If you love delicious sandwiches* as much as I do, then you'll love this.

Personally, I'd rather have a hamburger ring (hence the title of the post) because I think a domed, sesame seed encrusted ring at the top would look cute and make a funny engagement ring. "Here's the bun, baby, but you have to wait for the meat". That's vulgar.

-Kay

* If you're vegan/tarian, you can pretend the bacon is seitan. Or avocado if you're a celiac vegan. Let's just put avocado on everything and call it a day.

Kindle Single - Sparkle by Mara Altman

2011-07-05T12:39:00.000-07:00

Amazon recently introduced Kindle Singles; "long-form journalism" that is shorter than a novel, but longer than a magazine article. They cost a buck or two, and focus on one specific topic.

It seemed like fun to try something new, so I bought Sparkle by Mara Altman. It is well-reviewed, and one of the reviewers was absolutely appalled by the filthy language, so I was pretty sure I'd find it funny.

The general gist of the book is familiar - a slightly neurotic modern woman gets serious about her boyfriend and wonders if she's losing herself as a result of the coupling. The (essay? article? I don't know what to call it) story outlines Mara Altman's personal crusade to discover WHY people wear engagement rings, and why she's so conflicted about wearing one.

Not being an engagement ring kind of girl, I snorted forcefully at the description of the classic 3-stone ring as "the cock-and-balls model". Altman researches the history of the engagement ring back to the old Egyptian myth that says the vein in the left-hand ring finger flows right to the heart and quips, "Anatomically speaking, veins that connect to our hearts also eventually connect to our assholes." How can I not love this woman?

I will not divulge all of Altman's discoveries on her journey to dissect engagement rings (and her relationship), so I'll just say that the article was enjoyable. It was part informative and part engaged-Bridget-Jones; I related to many of her feelings about engagement rings and learned a few things along the way. Overall, I'm pleased with my first Single - it was $2 for a lazy morning's entertainment, and I think that's a good value.

-KB

Carmageddon wedding in LA

2011-07-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

Southern Californians are bracing themselves for "Carmageddon weekend", the weekend when a huge stretch of the major 405 freeway will be shut down for repairs. It seems like it's going to be bad, but hopefully people will stay home and not clog all the major roads. My close friend and I have been wondering how many weddings will be affected by the freeway closure, and how much it sucks because there was no way of knowing about this last year. Here's the first story I've seen:

A year ago, a young Marina del Rey couple picked the seemingly innocuous date of July 17, 2011, for their wedding in Bel-Air. Then came the unthinkable: Transportation officials announced that a nearby section of the 405 freeway would be closed that day.

"My mom said, I'm going to tell you something, but don't freak out," said soon-to-be bride Dalia Franco, 25.

But panic has been unavoidable, and Franco brought her concerns to the freeway closure meeting Thursday night. A total of 130 wedding guests are expected to arrive from local areas as well as from San Diego, other parts of the United States and even Israel and Africa, she said. She's worried that people will not be able to get to the ceremony on time.

A family friend's house on Bellagio Road will serve as the venue for a 5 p.m. garden wedding themed "Romance under the Stars," Franco said. She and her fiance, Moshe Shmuel, 26, are bracing themselves for a logistical migraine. The couple have asked guests to schedule early flights that will land in plenty of time for the ceremony. Few options exist to ease the drive from the airport or from guests' homes.

She has sent frantic calls and emails to local government officials, asking for their help. She approached public safety officials at the meeting Thursday night seeking advice for her wedding guests. Shmuel, a business student at Santa Monica College, also came to the meeting.

After hearing Franco speak, Los Angeles city officials promised to help the couple make a contingency plan. A group of police officers came up to talk to her after the meeting.

"What we're doing is finding out more about the event and looking at alternate routes," said Capt. John Egan of the LAPD's West Valley area and an operations chief for the closure weekend.

The plans may involve buses or other ways to efficiently move a large number of people, Egan added. Franco said she greatly appreciated the response.

"It's something to calm my fears a little bit," she said, adding that either way, "it's a wedding no one will forget."

I sincerely hope this all works out for them. Good luck, Dalia and Moshe!

-KB

Ah, to be married.

2011-06-29T10:18:00.000-07:00

Married people, or people in long-term relationships, you'll know what I mean when I say that it's a LOT of fun to occasionally torment your partner. Like, a LOT of fun. The more upset Mr. Banks gets, the more I laugh until my sides hurt. The best is when I laugh so much that my husband calls me a jackass and storms off. Seriously, I'm giggling just thinking about it.

Anyway.

If you think that's funny, I think you'll appreciate this story about a husband who had the nerve to demand that his wife not buy towels. Visit the link for the whole story, but the bottom line is that if you tell your partner NOT to buy something, you might find this:

HAHAHA!

Engrish wedding goods

2011-06-28T10:09:00.001-07:00

Engrish.com is one of the first sites I remember bookmarking way back in my dial-up days. It was probably my favorite site after my GeoCities page (Ha!).

Here's a wedding regret card reminiscent of that misplaced card I found at Target a while back. Is it Engrish, or a painfully-honest greeting card?

This is definitely Engrish - celebration banner for a weddiang. If guests were unsure of the type of event being celebrated, they had only to look at the flowers, the stage, and the big WEDDIANG banner.

-KB

Get (kind of) married at the AutoWed vending machine

2011-06-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

This adorable Moroccan/'50s Barbie convertible/Catholic church mashup thing is the AutoWed vending machine. Insert $1 and out come two plastic wedding bands (encapsuled in those plastic bubbles from your childhood), and a personalized certificate.

You can select the type of union you want: straight, gay, lesbian, or BFF. It plays a tune similar to your first-ever computer game, and prompts you to enter your names.

It's only a concept, but I think it's cute. If I saw this eye-catching machine, it would be irresistable to me.

Check out the faux-wedding:

AutoWed Wedding Machine by Concept Shed from Conceptshed on Vimeo.

The machine says at the end that if you were happy with your AutoWed service, you get a discount for 10% off AutoDivorce. Haha!

Happy weekend!
Kay

Source via Engadget

John Krasinski and Jason Segel serenade a bachelorette party

2011-06-22T13:31:00.000-07:00

I love J.Kras and Jason Segel more than I can say, so I find this adorable:

According to TMZ:
It all went down at a bar in Ann Arbor, Michigan -- we're told John and Jason were hanging out with Emily Blunt and "Community" actress Alison Brie ... when the girls at a nearby bachelorette party asked the guys to sing for them.

John and Jason happily obliged -- with a pretty awesome rendition of "Brown Eyed Girl" -- and we're told, the bride-to-be couldn't have been happier.

-Kay

Post-wedding don'ts

2011-06-20T13:35:00.001-07:00

I'm adding to the list of things you shouldn't do when planning a wedding. This one is a post-wedding don't.

DON'T complain long and loud about every little thing that wasn't perfect about your wedding when someone says, "Congratulations! How was your wedding?". Because when I say that, I am not interested in actually hearing about the details. Here's how the conversation is supposed to take place:

Me: Congratulations! How was your wedding?
New husband/wife: Oh, you know, there were a few issues with [insert problem here], but other than that, it was a great day. It seemed like our guests had fun, we had fun, and I'm glad it's over!
Me: That's great. Well, congratulations again!

and then I back away slowly. Or, if I like you, I continue with:

Me: That's great! If you don't mind my asking, what were the issues?

and then you're free to let 'er rip.

"All these people flew to Hawaii for me, but the chairs are the wrong shade of green"

Unfortunately, here's the actual conversation I have when someone I barely know gets married:

Me: Congratulations! How was your wedding?
New husband/wife: OH MY GOD. The coordinator was SO STUPID. I mean, we really had to let him have it because he was just incompetent. The worst part was sending the invitations. I mean, I had to address each one by hand. It took forever! I was like, I'm just going to call people to invite them because I don't want to do this anymore". I should have gotten my friends to do it for me [laugh] because, well, I AM the BRIDE!.
Me: ...uh-huh. That's too bad. But, um, was the reception fun once all the drama was over?
NH/W: Yeah, it was fun.
Me: ...
NH/W: ...
Me: [backs away slowly]

See how that goes? When you have more negative than positive things to say about your wedding, you sound like a miserable asshole. Frankly, if you didn't have fun at your own wedding, you are an asshole*.

-Kay

*Unless something went horribly, horribly wrong. Disaster weddings are uncommon.
pic source

Dis-invited via Facebook

2011-06-17T11:10:00.000-07:00

If you really want to get married AND keep your friends, don't do anything like this. Ever. At all:

Click the image for a larger version

Here are a few of my favorite excerpts

Eat a little first, cause we're still unsure about the food sitch...

...we would love you to bring us a bottle of champagne as a gift...

There will be chairs for most everyone...

I think this couple will have plenty of leftover everything because there's no way that any friends are going to put up with this shit. SOUNDS FUN.

-KB

Mrs. Hefner no more

2011-06-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

Getting ditched at the altar probably really sucks. Just ask Hef.

Days before Hugh Hefner was supposed to marry 25-year-old Crystal Harris, she called it off. But not in time for her Playboy spread titled "Mrs. Crystal Hefner" to be pulled.

oops

It must be embarrassing and difficult to cancel a wedding, but at least normal people don't have thousands of magazines as a grim reminder.

-KB

Oops! Lucille Ball's wedding gown

2011-06-15T12:52:00.000-07:00

I recently re-watched The Long, Long Trailer and realized that my previous post about Lucille Ball's wedding gown was ALL WRONG. People love to search my blog and correct things I've written, so I'm surprised that this hasn't been pointed out yet.

The photo that I previously thought was Lucille Ball's wedding portrait was actually her gown from the movie wedding of Tacy to Nicky in The Long, Long Trailer.

Her alleged wedding portrait

Another view of the same gown can be seen here.

If the disk hadn't already been sent back, I'd screencap to show you! To see proof, you'll just have to click the link.

The wedding scene in the movie was brief - most of the movie is obviously spent on the long, long trailer. The bridesmaids wore fluffy pink gowns, and Luc...excuse me TACY and Nicky look adorable.

Rejected marriage proposal at a club

2011-06-13T10:41:00.000-07:00

There's no description, so it's not clear on where or when this took place, but basically a dude sings a romantic song to a VERY uncomfortable-looking woman, and then proposes. Skip to 1:50 to see him down on his knee.

The look on her face should be enough for anyone to re-think their proposal, but the guy just keeps going. There's a woman in the background yelling Don't embarrass him!, but the uncomfortable woman stands her ground. They have a conversation that I can't hear, but I see her saying: I can't, and You can't fix this.

Ouuuuch.

Found via.

-KB

How to get married and keep your friends

2011-06-10T12:28:00.000-07:00

There seems to be a rush of weddings this summer, and I hear all the gripes because I don't know any of the couples. Engaged couples, I have a news flash for you: all of your friends are talking shit about you and your wedding. Right now. This goes double if your wedding details have been posted on your Facebook pages. It sucks, and it might shock you, but it's true.

Here's my handy-dandy guide to getting married and keeping your friends:

Rule 1: Shut up
Seriously, keep the details to yourself. Don't talk endlessly about the cost, bitch about the cake tasting-gone-wrong, or reference your wedding ALL THE TIME. "Sorry, can't make it to the party. We have to go meet caterers!" is a really annoying way to turn down a birthday party. People want to be invited to the wedding, and they want to drink your free booze, but they don't want to be involved in every step.

The solution is to choose a few friends who love you enough to keep the eye rolling to themselves, or at the very least, trash talk you to friends you don't know. There is no BFF alive who can process all the minutia of your wedding without hating you a little bit, so choose wisely. It's probably best to give the least of the burden to the friend you deem your maid of honor, or the person who will throw the showers/bachelor parties. My best suggestion would be to talk the most to your spouse-to-be. If that person can't handle all the boring details, don't marry them.

Yes, your table is beautiful. I knew it would be because I've been listening to you talk about it for SIX MONTHS.
Thanks Flickr user chellyc

Rule 2: Don't force your friends to help
If your bestie isn't jumping up and down to be a bridesmaid or throw your bachelor party, don't ask. Wait to see who offers. If nobody offers, don't have a wedding party. People who don't care about weddings don't care about weddings. You can't force it, and your friend will secretly hate you if you try to make them care about your wedding.

If you feel like you don't have enough support to plan such a large wedding, have a smaller wedding. Your wallet will thank you, and you'll still have friends.

Rule 3: Keep your cool
Wedding planning comes with at least one major blow up. Something will go wrong, a friend will back out of being a bridesmaid (unless you followed Rule 2) and you will feel like nobody cares about your special, special day. Remind yourself that it's true: friends don't care about your special day. They're really happy for you, and they're glad you found true love, but they don't care about the wedding details unless it's going to be a cash bar. Maintain patience and understanding for your friends or you won't have any left.

Rule 4: Repeat It's only one day
In line with keeping your cool, keep reminding yourself that the important part is every day after the wedding, but the wedding is ONE special day. Yes, it's a big deal and a lot of money, but it's only one day. There's a lot of build-up to the big day for YOU, but for everyone else it's that upcoming Saturday when they have to get dressed up and eat with people they don't know.

I spent $1200 in airfare for a cash bar? Friendship = damaged. Shit = talked.
Thanks T1GTV

Rule 5: Think about your guests
Yes, it's your special day, but your guests have all taken a day out of their lives to celebrate you in a very expensive way. They: saved the date, wore nice clothes, sent a gift, and talked shit behind your back instead of to your faces. (If your friends didn't do these things, then they're not holding up their end either. Solution: get better friends) Since your friends did a lot for you, try to plan for them. Give them the best food you can, or if you can't afford dinner, make the snacks really tasty and filling. Make sure there's delicious dessert. If it's all you can afford have an open bar. They don't care about taking home a framed picture of you, or those hideous inedible almonds.

Solution: Get them drunk! They will have fun. The non-drinkers will have fun watching others make asses of themselves. Don't insist that non-family travel to an island for your wedding. Don't put ridiculous deadlines on everyone. Don't harass people about RSVP dates. If they don't RSVP in time they don't care about your wedding. Count them out, and have my blessing to feel sorry for yourself. It sucks that your friends aren't into your wedding, but you should not let it ruin your friendship.

Think about this - you're spending 6 months to 1 year planning your dream wedding. Planning your wedding is supposed to be fun, exciting, and everything you've always wanted. What's the point if you're pissed at your friends for not living up to expectations? Pave the way for a fun and beautiful wedding, don't steamroll it.

That's my 5-step guide to getting married and keeping your friends. What do you say? Do you think I'm full of shit? Siding too much with the guests? I'm curious to hear your thoughts.

xo,
Kay

An Aussie Star Wars Wedding

2011-06-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

From the Official Star Wars blog:

Star Wars fans Nadia and Dale from Queensland, Australia tied the knot in with Jedi, stormtroopers, droids and Jawas in attendance. There’s even a Jabba the Hutt cake!

Cute couple!

Says the bride, Nadia We had a full Star Wars-themed wedding. The 501st legion acted as a guard of honor and raised $1000 for the Starlight Children’s Foundation. I bought an R2-D2 projector that acted as ring bearer, we had a Jabba the Hutt wedding cake, I painted planets from the Star Wars Galaxy for all the tables, and all the guests dressed up in Star Wars attire.

What's more romantic/threatening than stormtroopers?

Every entrance was matched to John Williams’ score. The stormtroopers entered to Darth Vader’s theme, along with Dale’s dad as celebrant, then Dale entered to the Throne Room score at the end of Episode IV. The Princess Leia flower girls and my handmaiden of honor entered to the pretty “Across the Stars” love theme while I entered the chapel with my dad in a Jedi costume (and the beard he grew for the wedding) [awww!] at the musical climax of the love theme. It was all timed really well and just tons of fun.

This is ridiculously funny

YUM?

This is one of the better Star Wars-themed weddings, and it's especially great that they raised money for a charity.

Super cute, amirite?

xo,
Kay

Because I'm obsessive about donating to good causes, I noticed that Charity Navigator only gives the Starlight Children's Foundation two stars. Still, it's great that they used their wedding to raise money for others.

Bride Carnival in Stavropol

2011-06-06T11:48:00.000-07:00

Just like the title says, here are photos of a bride carnival in Stavropol, Russia. There are a lot more photos at the source, but these were my favorite.

According to this site, the point of the Bride Carnival is to "enhance the public value of family, marriage and motherhood. It might also reinvigorate every girl’s intention to become a bride, a wife and a mother; to be beautiful and beloved.".

Please insert your own snarky comment here.

-KB

Space wedding rings

2011-06-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

Do you want over-hyped wedding rings that were IN SPACE?

50 sets of rings known as SWR-50th Anniversary Collection were inspired by the 50th anniversary of first human space flight which took place on April 12, 1961. The collection will be created in cooperation with jewelry designers from all over the world.

On May 20, 7:24 (MDT) the first set of space wedding rings were sent in space in a suborbital sounding rocket in New Mexico, USA. The flight went smoothly and the professionally secured package containing one set of wedding rings and some gold reached the space and came to Earth sound and safe.

The first 10 sets of rings available now will be made from the gold that was flown in space in the same capsule as the first Space Wedding Rings SWR-001.

This is not how I pictured space or spacesuits

Each set of Space Wedding Rings will be assigned a unique serial number and engraved with the SpaceWed logo. The rings will be sold in custom designed, space-themed packaging and will include a Certificate of Space Flight, as well as documentation of the rocket launch.

From the beginning of June you will be able to place an ORDER for the RINGS AVAILABLE NOW or PRE-ORDER the rings which will go in space in the next flight by the end of 2011.

In fairness, some of the rings are pretty cool, but the THIS METAL WAS IN SPACE angle is not impressive to me (or worth 12,000 Euros)

EKG ring

Fingerprint ring

Hipster wedding snark

2011-06-01T10:24:00.000-07:00

HIPSTERS. Their style is as timeless as a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper; their weddings as unique as the next trust fund kid masquerading as a starving student. This article Look at This Fucking Hipster Wedding had me ROFLing in my own smug satisfaction of not being a hipster. It details the biggest trends amongst the allegedly unique hipster weddings.

Hipsterism, the lifestyle choice of young, middle-class people attempting to refine the middle class, emerged roughly a decade ago. Now that hipsters have received their MFAs and reluctantly settled into careers, they're getting married. But the hipster aesthetic is defined by childish spontaneity and half-assism. Tackling a ritual associated with becoming a card-carrying adult can be a problem.

The solution? Infuse the ceremony itself with the trappings of hipsterdom. The wedding then becomes the hipster's last stand, his final opportunity to show friends and family what a fun and individualistic middle-class young person he is, before he becomes just another mortgage holder.

In the last few years, a hipster-wedding Bizarro World has come into being, one replete with conventions just as strict as those its creators longed to escape. The betrothed hipster must adhere to a fascistic regimen of self-expression, upcycled jam jars, and unparalleled, painstaking wedding-favor design. This world, though marked by forced whimsy, mirrors the mainstream in its object fetishism and pantomime. Instead of roses, it has bicycles; instead of heirloom silver, handmade crafts.

The new hipster-wedding regime subverts an adult ritual with signifiers of childhood, puts quotes around a serious commitment. As it denies adulthood, the hipster wedding so denies that it took just as long and cost just as much as its non-hipster equivalent. To follow are its key characteristics.

1. PUT A BIRD ON IT
Hipster crafts tend to involve a preponderance of woodland creatures — as when an LA couple, wed at the Natural History Museum, took their shots wearing animal masks in front of a menacing taxidermied bear.

2. MUSTACHE ON A STICK
Ah, the mustache party. How bleak our lives must have been before we first began to take photographs of one another wearing comically oversize mustaches on sticks for the sole purpose of spicing up our Facebook profiles.

3. INVITATION AS ART
Every hipster is friends with at least one graphic designer, which is handy when you need a new logo for your Tumblr. But when it comes to wedding invitations, how does the hipster couple differentiate their invitations from those of all their hipster friends, many of who are, yes, graphic designers?

4. OCD PAPERCRAFT
All weddings have labels — table numbers and place cards. But in their quest to make everything at their reception heart-stoppingly personalized and whimsical, the hipster's wedding is a veritable phantasmagoria of letterpress. (Note: a surplus of graphic-designer friends likely factors into this as well.)

Hipsters never miss an opportunity to label. Why give the ringbearer a stupid pillow when there's something to label? Instead, try a wedding box with letterpress reading "Here Comes the Bride." Go ahead, hipsters, put letterpress placecards in front of the food. Put a big screenprinted sign over the table with the food on it. Label the bride's side, the groom's side, the flowers, the dance floor, the dog. Label your Internet-ordained friend performing the ceremony.

5. SHOES IN A BUCKET
Far more preferable: casual shoes. But since it's a wedding, they need to match. Think armies of groomsmen in black Chucks, bridesmaids in boat shoes or cowboy boots. The barefoot hipster wedding is not unheard-of, especially because it provides the opportunity to label something — in this case, a sign on a bucket telling you to put your shoes in it.

6. HERE COMES THE BRIDE
Choosing songs is among the most important wedding decisions a hipster couple can make. It presents the opportunity to be original and to express allegiance to hipster consensus at the same time. The best hipster wedding songs, while providing evidence of superior music tastes, coexist on opposing sides of the cultural spectrum: on one, songs that surprise those in attendance through their relative obscurity; on the other, songs familiar to all attending, even cousins from Florida, but unlikely to be used as a first dance or wedding march (i.e., the theme from Top Gun). Whether Grandpa's tapping his foot or sadly shaking his head, rest assured that he doesn't understand you.

7. VOWS
Justices of the Peace, Unitarians, friends ordained in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster — these are acceptable officiates, ones that will not raise an eyebrow at your farm-stand turnip cake, or the sign hanging over it reading "farm-stand turnip cake," or maybe your rainbow cake — you know, for marriage equality!
Hipsters are similarly required to write their own vows. Some write from the heart. Some incorporate poetry from the New York school. Others appropriate lyrics from '70s arena-rock bands for whose songs they have an ironic appreciation.

8. CHOW
Food, like décor, should evince an obvious co-mingling of high and low tastes — hot-dog carts and farm stand turnips are equally at home at the hipster wedding buffet table. While cupcake towers can supply the event with the perfect dose of fastidious detail and childish whimsy, their current popularity with other, non-hipster brides has lately deprived them of their former glory.

9. SOCIAL MEDIA POSTERITY
The hipster would not exist without social media. The hipster couple repays this debt with a token offering. Many a hipster couple has set up a designated area so their photographer friend may take pictures that resemble those from a photo booth — in some cases, an actual photo booth — and plaster them on Facebook. The iPhone, too, has its place at the hipster wedding. There's no need to leave technology at home when there's minutiae to document.

Social media has generated much of the hipster wedding accoutrements. Would mustache on a stick exist without Facebook? Would labeled pies? It's doubtful. Thanks, Facebook.

10. FAUX-EDGY WEDDING SHOTS
O dentists' daughters, o tax attorneys' sons! Back home in the suburbs, nobody understood you. Driving to Costco in your parents' SUV, you'd stare out at the expanse of manicured lawns, thinking, I wasn't meant for this! Do these people feel? Are they even alive?

But you weren't trapped there — far from it. You're too smart for that. Right after college, you moved to a gentrifying neighborhood in the Big City and scared your parents half to death. Even though you'd sworn to yourself long ago that you didn't care what they thought, in your innermost heart, you were glad. Sure, the dirty sidewalks and overweight people in cheap, stained sweatpants were unpleasant at first, but you got used to it.

Now it's your wedding day. The gaping maw of legitimate adulthood yawns before you like all the soccer fields you played on as a child lined end to end. Dad slaps you on the back and makes a joke about law school. But you'll show him. You gather your friends — your real, urban family — and take your wedding photos in a filthy alleyway. Fuck you, Dad!

The comments on the article are a good read. There's a lengthy, thoughtful comment mentioning the meaning of making homemade jam but claiming not to be a hipster, followed by the rather succinct Takes one to know one. It's safe to say that people will defend their life-long love of woodland creatures to the death, even though they've long since forgotten about their victory gardens. That's so 2009.

-KB

Dog weddings

2011-05-30T12:38:00.000-07:00

For absolutely no reason, here are my favorite results of the Google image search "dog wedding"

Two dogs eating cake - obvs, it's my favorite.

Nothing is funnier than dogs looking miserable in clothing

These little fluffballs are awfully cute

A pink veil - perfect for a bachelorette party?

Lookit this adorable little terrier, all excited for the wedding of his masters!

Source: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05

Mario Kart love song

2011-05-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

A bunch of my friends are doing the 30-day song challenge on Facebook, but one entry really caught my eye. Day 23 is "A song that you want to play at your wedding" and my geeky friend posted this:

Here's the original - the singer/songwriter is adorable.

-KB

Unsupportive coworkers

2011-05-25T11:22:00.000-07:00

A woman's coworkers threw her a little office bridal shower before she left for Vegas to get married, and here is the secret note she found on the back of the "Congratulations" card.

if it doesn't work out, we are always here for you

The note was unsigned, but the original article from Passive-Aggresive Notes says that the handwriting is distinctive. Oops.

-KB

Heidi & Seal renewed their vows - again

2011-05-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

Why am I just now discovering this? Heidi Klum and Seal renew their vows with a new theme every year.

I adore Heidi Klum because she seems batshit crazy and she loves costume parties. If you Google it, she and husband Seal renew their vows every year with a different theme. In 2009 they did a white trash wedding complete with a smoking, pregnant bride and Seal in a mullet. HOW FUN!

This year they renewed their vows in Palm Beach, Florida. It looks like their theme was a Masquerade ball. In 2010, all the guests were brides and grooms, and here are pictures of the famed 2009 White Trash wedding:

Love them. If I had the money, I would definitely throw crazy costume parties. But I wouldn't invite everyone, because there's always that one spoil-sport who refuses to wear costumes.

xo,

Kay

Super Mario Theme Wedding

2011-05-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

This is cute:

PELLA, Ia.— Most brides-to-be think about colors, flowers and the dress when they decide the "I do" details. But, one central Iowa couple is using a video game for inspiration.

Bobbi VanZante and Elijah Slagter look like any couple in love. But, they're planning a wedding that's anything but ordinary. VanZante says, "It's a Mario themed wedding."

As in Mario Bros, from the popular video game that came out in the 1980's. VanZante says, "We both grew up doing Mario, playing the Mario games and just something for our generation, and we wanted to do something different."

The bride will walk down the aisle dressed as Princess Peach. The groom says, "I'm Mario." And, the mothers will wear star costumes for the big day. Mother-of-the-Bride Lori Mullen says, "It's her day, her special time, so whatever she wants."

As for the dad's duties, VanZante says her father will walk her down the aisle in a Bowser costume [Oh em gee, I would love to see this], She says, "It's kind of part of the game. Bowser steals and all of his buddies, steal Princess Peach." She continues, "At the wedding Bowser is finally giving Princess Peach to Mario, like my dad will at the wedding."

Wedding preparations started in December. They've been collecting gold coins, making mushrooms, and constructing turtle shells. They've also made piles of pirahna plants and are working on a castle. As for the cost? VanZante says, "We thought it would be a lot cheaper." But, she says she's not sure how much the wedding will end up costing.

Mullen says it will be worth it. She says, "This is perfect. It will be a fun day, good remembrance as long as they're happy."

The couple is even asking guests to dress the part. They can be any character, except Princess Peach or Mario. They'll tie the knot August 6th.

Have a geek-tastic weekend. I'm going to be wearing out my copy of LA Noire. Woo!

-KB

Bridesmaids - the review

2011-05-19T11:49:00.000-07:00

I saw Bridesmaids - the movie this week. Spoiler-free review below:

I freaking loved it. No, it's not going to make you smarter or shed light on the cure for cancer, but it was funny, the characters were likable and relatable, and most importantly it wasn't hideously insulting to women like so many romantic comedies / raunchy comedies.

Jump off a cliff, chick flicks.

When I saw the poster, I assumed Kristen Wiig was going to be obsessed with finding a man of her own to marry because she's so hopelessly single, and I was wrong. Basically, Annie (Kristen Wiig, who I loved) is the Maid of Honor at her childhood BFF's wedding, and she has to figure out a way to help her friend with wedding plans when she can barely cope with her own life. She also has to contend with her pal's new friend, a spoiled, rich and beautiful trophy wife. I liked that it addressed competition between women, because it's one of my biggest complaints about being one.

The motley crew

There are two main stereotype-y guys in the movie, and they are both fun to look at. Jon Hamm is Kristen Wiig's...something, and Chris O'Dowd from the IT Crowd and Pirate Radio is adorable as Nathan Roads. (I also spotted David Wallace and Hank from The Office)

I will not ruin any funny parts for you, but let me just say that it was really funny. All types of women were portrayed, and there was a lot of lady-appropriate The Hangover-type comedy.

Also, this movie is dude-approved. My guy loved it too - no caveats. This is not a chick flick, it's just a funny movie that focuses on women in a non-demeaning, sex-object way. THANK YOU.

-KB

Central park engagement

2011-05-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

This unexpected time-lapse engagement was flying around Reddit last week. The person who captured the images was trying to find the couple in these stills. The pictures are really sweet - they gave me goosebumps.

AWWWW! I love the intimacy, despite the fact that they're in a very public place. I hope Michael Justin (the photographer) finds them.

If YOU know someone who got engaged on Saturday May 7th at around 12:41 pm in Central Park, send them this link!

-KB

Paul McCartney engaged

2011-05-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

I think everyone knows that Paul McCartney was married to his wife Linda until she died from cancer in 1998. I know everyone knows about his marriage and divorce with the always-irritating Heather Mills (2002-2008). So is this new engagement a good idea? ANSWER: it's none of my business, but here's the article anyway.

Soon after [his divorce from Mills], press speculation linked the songwriter with Nancy Shevell. A close friend of Paul and Linda McCartney, the self-made millionaire was married for more than two decades to American lawyer and political candidate Bruce Blakeman. However the pair divorced, and soon after Shevell began to be seen in public with Sir Paul McCartney. The singer praised the American businesswoman, who is is a board member of New York's transportation authority and a vice-president of her family business.

The wedding announcement came from McCartney's publicity team, who did not give any further details. It is not known when the ceremony will take place, although messages of congratulations are coming thick and fast.

Here's a picture of the engagement ring, rumored to cost $650,000.

He's 68, she's 51. At least they're close in age. She's really pretty!

Am I wrong, or does Shevell rhyme with Michelle? Now I have this stuck in my head.

-KB

Adorable Super Mario Proposal

2011-05-11T12:28:00.000-07:00

For your geeky pleasure, check out this adorable video of a Super Mario proposal. This guy decked out his house to look like Mushroom Kingdom, and made his girlfriend April knock the ring out of a ? block with her head.

Check out the fireworks after she says yes. This guy did a great job, and it's sweet that he invited family or friends (I can't tell) to join the celebration. What a nice guy.

-KB

R---- W------ Blues

2011-05-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, enough with the royal wedding, RIGHT? This is (probably) it, and then I'll move on to something new.

Remember the young woman who went on a hunger strike for a Royal Wedding invitation?

She made it to England, but was denied entry. She didn't sound terribly stable, so I'm not surprised.

It's always shocking to see the terrible things that people will tattoo on their bodies. Check out this hideous Royal Wedding tattoo.

I don't get it at all.

Finally, if you're wondering how the ga-ga-gorgeous gown was kept a secret, especially when so many people hand-crafted it, now we know: they lied.

The lace-makers were told that Kate's lace was actually for a dress for a British period costume drama. McQueen seamstresses were also told that they were doing a dress for a film, and when Sarah Burton went to Buckingham Palace to assemble the dress, she worked with helpers who had all signed secrecy agreements.

No more about the Royal Wedding y/y?

-KB

Crossword puzzle proposal

2011-05-06T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey Scrabble and Words With Friends Geeks, check this out:

The Washington Post newspaper's crossword puzzle had special meaning this weekend for one local couple. With the complicity of the daily broadsheet, Corey Newman, 28, of Alexandria, Virginia, proposed to his live-in girlfriend, Marlowe Epstein, 31, through clues buried in a specially-crafted puzzle.

The clue for 37 Across, asked for the name of a role in the movie "Shakespeare in Love." The answer - Marlowe. 39 Across asked for the name of a "Casablanca" screenwriter. The answer - Epstein.

They're totally adorable:

Skip to 3:12 for the actual proposal

The clincher was 51 Across: "Words with a certain ring to them." As soon as Epstein came up with the answer - "Will you marry me" - Newman got down on one knee, whipped out a diamond ring and repeated the question. "Yes, of course!" Epstein said. "I was sort of blown away," she said. "I was so impressed that he managed to pull that off!"

The video shows the groom's desperate search for the right newspaper - it's the proposal that almost wasn't.

-KB

via

The Royal Wedding - late!

2011-05-03T09:14:00.000-07:00

I totally spaced on my post about the Royal wedding! It's pretty obvious that I wasn't super into the hype surrounding it, but when I saw that gown I fell in love with Kate Middleton. She's gorgeous, poised, and confident. Love or not, I fast forwarded through 95% of the event, pausing only to watch their vows, marvel at William's enormous bald "spot", and watch them ride stiffly in a carriage. Because I paid so little attention, I thought the reception would be televised as well, so I was really disappointed when I didn't get to see their cake until the next day.

You've seen these, but here they are again.

This dress was so gorgeous. I literally gasped because I was so shocked that it wasn't ugly. The gown is timeless and traditional - we'll still be looking at pictures of her in 50 years and saying how beautiful she was. I think we can say good bye to the strapless wedding gown trend of the last decade or so. Strapless gown brides (myself included) prepare to look dated! If I was planning my wedding, I would now want lace sleeves. While I hate veils, I loved this veil. It wasn't bunched up at the top or fussy - she was just draped in silk. And putting her sister in white? Classy, IMO. And why am I detecting more love from her for her sister than I do in any of her interactions with William?

On top of looking good, she's seemed quietly confident. I'm sure she was OMFGing inside, but she did a good job of hiding it. THAT EMBROIDERY! Love. And did you notice her brief-yet-beautiful bouquet? It's a far cry from Princess Diana (or Posh Spice's) nightmare of a trailing bouquet.

Another picture. They look as happy as reserved English people can look.

Here's what I care about -the royal wedding cake. "Garland on the cake matched architectural garland in the room, and each of the many varieties of flowers decorating the cake carried a specific meaning. The wedding cake was made up of 17 individual fruitcakes, with 12 forming the base. The cake was then decorated with cream and white icing using the Joseph Lambeth technique." FRUITCAKE? That's just wrong. It is very pretty, but NO FRUITCAKE.

And here's the meme heard round the world. HAHAHA, poor kid.

It was fun for a minute, but now it's gone...until Harry gets married. I think it would be awesome if he ran off to Vegas and eloped. He seems like the type that might.

-KB

Pic source 1, 2

Amazing record player invitations

2011-05-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

These amazing record player wedding invitations have been making the rounds lately. They are great - truly beautiful and very creative.

For the whole, lengthy backstory, visit the designer's blog: Kelli Anderson

The invitations are trendy and cute, with a special surprise

This is a close-up of the printed flexi-disk record:

Here's the video of the invitations in action:

Paper Record Player from kellianderson on Vimeo.

Very cool! And, I'm assuming, VERY EXPENSIVE. I can only imagine the cost of all of this. Hopefully the guests appreciated this little piece of art and engineering in their mailbox.

-KB

Time for the royal wedding!

2011-04-29T08:33:00.000-07:00

I'm awake, I'm awake! Time to watch the royal repeats. So far I'm in LOVE with the gown! Can't wait to see all the other details.

How to watch the Royal Wedding

2011-04-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

There's no point in lying - despite my distaste for the infatuation with the royals, I will probably watch some or all of the royal wedding. And I will probably spam the hell out of this blog with my opinions. If you want to do the same, here's the list of places you can watch: royal wedding tv schedule

Court bans groom from talking to bride and best man

2011-04-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

I kind of love these crazy, rampaging bride and groom stories, and this one strikes me as particularly funny/awful. A couple's wedding plans lie in tatters after a sheriff banned the groom from talking to his bride and best man. The order came after Billy Stupart, 28, was arrested over a stag-night bust-up with the pair about a stripper. The former Black Watch soldier is due to marry hairdresser Fiona Soutar, 30, in a fortnight [that's two weeks American]. Friend Christopher Strachan, 28, is his best man. The bride and groom had been on separate nights out on Saturday when they returned to the flat they share in Dundee, along with the best man. All three had been drinking and a row broke out between Strachan and Stupart over the latter's reluctance to visit a stripper, which ended with Fiona calling the police. Stupart spent the weekend in the cells. He appeared at the city's sheriff court on Monday and denied three charges of behaving in a threatening or abusive manner towards Fiona by shouting, swearing, threatening violence and throwing a bottle, assaulting Christopher by repeatedly punching him on the head and assaulting Fiona and throwing a bottle at her. Story and funny picture via Arbroath Sheriff Tom Hughes bailed Stupart but warned him not to contact either of them before his next court date on May 4. Fiona contacted the court to say the wedding was still on and she was happy for Stupart to return to their flat. But the sheriff refused to listen. They admitted they had argued but Stupart said: "It's all been blown out of proportion. Everything has been booked and it has cost thousands. The sheriff could easily have relaxed bail conditions. Many of our guests have made arrangements to get to the ceremony. "I have never been in any trouble before and I think the sheriff is being very heavyhanded with us. We are appealing the bail conditions. If that doesn't doesn't, everything will be cancelled." Fiona said: "We'd hoped the sheriff might have shown us a bit of leniency." Stupart added: "Chris is my best friend and will still definitely be my best man, whatever happens." The couple said they have invited 180 guests to their big day. A honeymoon to Portugal has also been paid for. A trial date has been set for May 20. Basically, this wedding is completely screwed because the judge doesn't care about their wedding plans. The article doesn't say if they have previous domestic issues. This is a bad case of "I wish I hadn't done that when I was drunk". -KB

Amazing zombie wedding invitation

2011-04-25T10:56:00.000-07:00

Check out this beautiful wedding invitation from Manuel Morgado. His site says this was a commissioned custom illustration - it's amazing! I'll bet this was a fun wedding to attend.

This isn't wedding-related, but it is another amazing illustration from Morgado's site:

Sleepy Hollow

via

-KB

Friday funny - greeting card shopping

2011-04-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

I was shopping for birthday cards at my local Target, and I noticed a card that didn't belong.

Click for a bigger version

This shiny, foiled card stuck out against all the soothing pastel colors of the sympathy aisle. Someone shoved a card that said "For the Bride & Groom" in the "Sorry for your loss" section. It made me laugh so I hastily took this photo, avoided the weird looks of the people around me, and walked away.

Happy Friday,
Kay Banks

Pregnant bride on a knife-throwing rampage

2011-04-20T11:23:00.000-07:00

She did not want to be on camera after she left a Ferndale courtroom, but the police say there is no hiding what she did last week in her home.

Officers say Jenna Spraggins hurled knives at her mom and fiancé because she was upset she had not received an engagement ring from her boyfriend.

The police say Spraggins was physically fighting with her fiancé and hurled the knives after her mother tried to intervene. They got this 911 call from her mom.

The following is the text of the 911 call:

Operator: What is your emergency?
Mother: My daughter is having a panic attack or something.
Operator: She is having a panic attack?
Mother: She is throwing knives and acting crazy. She is 18.

Spraggins was also irate that her fiancé wanted to go skating at a skate park that day.

Fortunately the knives did not hit anyone, but both the mom and the fiancé suffered both cuts and bruises from her being hit by Spraggins with her fists.

The pregnant 18-year-old is facing charges of assault with a dangerous weapon and domestic abuse charges.

If you watch the video, mom says "She's just throwing knives..." in an "it's no big deal, but" tone. They sound like a totally mature and reasonable couple. I'm so glad they've carefully weighed the option to bring a child into the world. :(

-KB

via

Woodland papercut wedding invitations

2011-04-18T11:35:00.000-07:00

I normally don't post regular weddingy type stuff, but these invitations are too gorgeous to ignore.

Fat peonies - my favorite! I love the way they spill out from behind the invitation.

Gorgeous modern lotus-like flower

Bamboo - so elegant and lovely

Initially I assumed that these were laser-cut, but then this picture popped up.

THESE ARE CUT BY HAND. Amazing, beautiful, gorgeous work. Naomi has insane patience to do this. Now that I know that, the prices seem reasonable - I know I'm repeating myself but she cuts each little piece by hand, with a blade. My mind reels.

-KB

Woodland papercut invitations via

Friday funny - SomeEvite

2011-04-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

Love this site.

Apple logo wedding cake

2011-04-13T10:16:00.000-07:00

How do you know if someone has an iPhone?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Badum-ching

Check out this awesome wedding cake. I presume it's a groom's cake, but who knows.

The friend who shared it with me suggested that it should be rainbow on the inside, and I think that's a great idea. It would be awesome if the inside looked like this:

But layered to look like this

-KB

Royal wedding style though the decades

2011-04-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Here's an interesting look at royal wedding style though the ages.

Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, 1923

A traditional full-length gown with a court train was the order of the day for Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother's marriage to the Duke of York, later George VI. Designed by Madame Handley, the dress was on trend for the 1920s with its unshaped lace bodice - a style made popular by Coco Chanel. This gown is so trendy it hurts.

Wallis Simpson, 1937

The marriage of Wallis Simpson and Prince Edward wasn't a royal wedding as such as the prince had decided to abdicate the throne in order to marry divorcee Mrs Simpson. The bride wore a simple blue dress with a fitted waistband, gathered bodice all finished off with a neat hat - the style was widely copied for its simplicity. I love this dress! The buttoned waist and the flowy, elegant skirt is gorgeous.

Queen Elizabeth II, 1947

Queen Elizabeth II's wedding day at Westminster Abbey was a grand affair - and the royal wedding dress was certainly fit for the occasion. The Queen's dressmaker Norman Hartnell had the honour of designing the ivory duchesse satin gown adorned with crystals, 10,000 tiny pearls and appliqué tulle embroidery. The 15-foot train was also embroidered with pearls and crystals as well as appliqué duchesse satin and was inspired by Botticelli's Primavera, to signify hope after the war. LOVE!!!! The floral lace train is gorgeous.

Grace Kelly, 1956

MGM wardrobe designer Helen Rose had the honour of creating Grace Kelly's wedding gown in the 50s - the dress featured a full skirt of ivory peau de soie and a fitted bodice made of Brussels lace and embroidered with seed pearls. Grace's veil was adorned with lace lovebirds and the gown remains one of the most celebrated in history. She's so gorgeous. The bustle type poofy skirt is so pretty.

Princess Margaret, 1960

Queen Elizabeth II's younger sister, Princess Margaret, was the subject of the world's first televised royal wedding and she chose a simple gown by her favourite designer Norman Hartnell for the occasion. The bride wore a white silk organza dress with a short train, a Claude St Cyr of Paris veil and the Poltimore tiara, purchased at auction. The full skirt is so fairy tale princess, and the crown seems pretty on her. Normally I hate tiaras at weddings, but since she's ACTUAL royalty it makes sense.

Lady Diana Spencer, 1981

Lady Diana Spencer's marriage to Prince Charles had people around the world glued to their tellies and the late princess certainly looked the part. The bride wore a silk taffeta gown designed by Brits Elizabeth and David Emanuel - complete with enormous puff sleeves, 10,000 hand-stitched pearls and a record-breaking 25-foot train, the outfit is certainly a memorable one! It's not a popular opinion, but I hate this gown and pretty much every other gown from the '80s.

Sarah Ferguson, 1986

Sarah Ferguson's duchesse satin gown was an elaborate affair (it was the 80s after all!) - the 17-foot train featured an anchor to represent Prince Andrew's time in the navy and an 'A' was also embroidered onto it to reflect her love for her husband. Ditto Fergie. Sorry.

Sophie Rhys-Jones, 1999

Sophie Rhys-Jones looked stunning in this silk organza coatdress by Samantha Shaw - the outfit was embroidered with 325,000 pearl and cut glass beads. Prince Edward also had a hand in the outfit - he designed the black and white pearl necklace that Sophie wore on the day. This is a little too matronly for me, but it's elegant enough.

Camilla Parker Bowles, 2005

It was Prince Charles' second wedding, but his second bride looked fantastic in this outfit designed by Robinson Valentine. Camilla accessorised the full-length coat and chiffon dress with pale beige suede shoes by LK Bennett and a plummage and lace detail portrait hat by Philip Treacy. She looks good for her. I like the long duster.

Which is your favorite? Mine is Grace Kelly, or if we're talking about English royalty, Princess Margaret. Everything about her screams royal wedding, and I mean that in the best way possible.

-KB

Friday funny - Married to the Sea

2011-04-08T09:10:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, I'm lazy, please enjoy:

Have an excellent weekend!

The Anniversary Waltz

2011-04-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

How many arguments did Lucy and Ricky have over their anniversary? I dunno, probably a lot. This makes me tear up because I am an intensely sentimental fragile egg wrapped in a spiky shell of sarcasm.

This dress is one of my favorites from the show - like one of my top 2. I NEVER tire of this show. -KB

Bridesmaids - the movie

2011-04-04T11:12:00.000-07:00

This poster was spotted at my local movie theater:

From the producer of Superbad, Knocked Up, and the 40-Year-Old Virgin

I am excited. Kristen Wiig is not nearly as funny as everyone says she is (Sorry K.Wiig), but I do love Maya Rudolph (Idiocracy), Jon Hamm (Mad Men), Melissa McCarthy (scene-stealer in Samantha Who?), and Ellie Kemper (Erin from the Office. Go back to Andy already!).

It kind of looks like the Hangover for ladies. My only complaint: Screenwriters, can you please stop making every female character neurotic about getting married? Obviously, I like weddings, but I don't think it's THE POINT OF LIFE. Some women don't want to get married, right?

-KB

Heidi and Spencer's wedding pictures

2011-04-01T10:13:00.000-07:00

Heidi and Spencer's entire shtick was a big April Fool's Day joke on the world, so it seems like a good topic for today - the day of internet trickery. If you don't already know, Heidi and Spencer are from an Mtv reality show. They are really dumb, but they were smart enough to know that a crazy trainwreck would make them famous, so they wrecked their trains clumsily. She got so much plastic surgery that she looks like she's 40 (even though she's in her 20s), and he did us all a favor and fell off the planet. I don't even know if they're still married, and I'm not willing to Google it. I just thought it'd be funny to remind you of them today. Here's their wedding. I think they got married twice. I love the dark-haired dudes in the back row. They hate this more than I do. Here they are cutting their cake. It looks like a buttercream cake instead of a fondant cake - I am impressed. I would bet solid money that Heidi's white sweatsuit has "BRIDE" or "MRS. [Guy's last name]" in rhinestones on the back somewhere. This is a completely legitimate, non-staged paparazzi photo of them on their honeymoon. There was a bird flu scare (H1N1 scare?) at the time. Another candid shot of the two. This is just how they are when they're alone.

This is my favorite. I forget what the situation is here, but she's really upset about something, and the photographer just happened to catch her as she was sitting outside wearing designer clothing and crying about a very personal incident. On a chair in the middle of a sidewalk.

For all I know, they're perfectly nice people. I don't really care.

-KB

Arizona wedding brawl

2011-03-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

Police officers in a Phoenix suburb had to restrain and arrest a bride who became disorderly at her own wedding reception party.

Gilbert police spokesman Hugh White said Monday that officers had to restrain 28-year-old Angela Davito on Saturday night after she kicked a police officer. Officers responded to an unknown trouble call around at a home in Gilbert, Arizona, around 9:30 p.m. They were told by attendees that people in the backyard were “killing each other,” and officers observed a large brawl.

This entire article is an excuse to post this picture

Police commanded people to stop fighting, but the commotion continued, and White says people became angry and aggressive toward the officers. Officers called for backup, and several other officers were sent to the scene, along with Gilbert firefighters to attend to victims of pepper spray exposure.

Following a short-lived calm, Davito charged a partygoer and had to be restrained. The bride allegedly kicked an officer and was arrested on charges of assault and obstructing governmental operations. It's unclear whether Davito has an attorney.

It is clear that this marriage will most likely end in divorce since she and everyone around her need help for their insane, Chris Brown-style anger issues.

-KB

Couple marries after nearly 30 years of dating

2011-03-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

Here is a long-ish but cute article about old people in love.

For Forrest Lunsway, reaching a century of life was only the half of it. On his 100th birthday Saturday, Lunsway married his 93-year-old girlfriend, Rose Pollard.

She's 93? She looks amazing, and so modern and - dare I say it - fresh in stripes.

The wedding – a surprise for most in attendance – was a long time coming. Lunsway and Pollard met almost three decades ago. They were both looking for dance partners after their significant others passed away, and mutual friends set them up on a blind date Dec. 18, 1983. It was a Christmas party at the Long Beach Senior Center and the two danced the night away.

Lunsway asked Pollard out on a date, but he lived in Cypress and she lived in Capistrano Beach. "He lived 40 miles away. It was what you call geographically undesirable. I didn't think it would last," Pollard said. But the two would meet halfway and go on dates. Sometimes, Lunsway would drive to pick up Pollard for a night out and then drive home. "If someone will do that, you know that's something," Pollard said.

D'awwwww.

About 20 years later, Lunsway sold his house in Cypress and moved to Capistrano Beach to live with Pollard. Then he asked her to marry him. "I told him I would marry him on his 100th birthday," Pollard said, laughing. "I had never intended for him to remember."

But he did, and Vanna Murphy, who runs senior activities at the Dana Point Community Center, got wind of the promise. So she started planning a wedding. The trick was it had to be a surprise – neither Lunsway nor Pollard wanted family issues getting in the way.

The red and white roses play nicely off the black and white theme

On Saturday, about 90 people who gathered to celebrate Lunsway's 100th birthday found two cakes at the Community Center – one for a wedding and one for a birthday. Twinkling lights were strung and the room was decorated in black, white and silver. Bottles of sparkling cider were poured, and guests munched on chocolate-covered strawberries.

"It was just oh so beautiful," said Pollard, who wore a black and white striped dress. Her new husband wore a tuxedo and a rose pinned to his lapel. "Many people were completely flabbergasted, and others at least had a suspicion," she said. "Maybe I should call up Guinness World Records," Murphy said. "Someone getting married on their 100th birthday – I wonder if that's been done before."

These two are in amazing shape. He's ONE HUNDRED.

The Laguna Cliffs Resort & Spa in Dana Point donated a free night for their honeymoon. They had a room with a view of the ocean and were served champagne and strawberries upon arrival. The couple received congratulatory cards from President Barack Obama, first lady Michelle Obama and Gov. Jerry Brown. Lunsway got cards from the president for his birthday and for the wedding.
Lunsway had been married twice before and outlived both his former wives. Both he and Pollard have children from other marriages.

Lunsway attributes his longevity to keeping active. "Use it or lose it," he likes to say.

Brass knuckles for the picky bride

2011-03-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Bridezillas planning a wedding brawl will appreciate these diamond ring brass knuckles.

They're pretty, and they will deliver severe damage to the bridesmaid who complains the most about her ugly dress.

I'd be pissed if I had to wear this accordion lampshade nightmare.