Britney Spears - Bridesmaid dress

I would think that with all of her money and fame, someone like Britney Spears could get out of the task of being a bridesmaid. She was in a wedding over the weekend, and this celebrity gossip site has pictures of the dress she had to wear:



She and the other bridesmaid are attractive women with nice figures, and they look terrible in these dresses. The pale blue is a really unflattering color for both women, and the skinny belt with the angular halter neck look really severe.



Pale dresses like this one always hit my eye wrong next to a black tux.

I'm fairly certain that this is one of those times when the bride intentionally chose a difficult-to-wear gown style to make the bridesmaids look less-pretty than her. It's so bad.

Sorry Britney - one day I'll have something nice to say about your wedding attire.

xo,
KB

Juggalo wedding

How much do you know about the Insane Clown Posse? For the uninitiated, here's my limited understanding: the Insane Clown Posse (or ICP) is a born-again Christian rap band that dresses like clowns and has a ravenous fan base called "juggalos". Juggalos seem to be a kind of second brother/sisterhood for outcasts, weirdies, and other people who don't fit in with normie stuff.

This is a Yahoo Answers question from "Metalette Razy" asking for suggestions for her Hatchet-themed wedding. Hatchets are an ICP thing (I've been told).

Click the image for a larger view

Not surprisingly, people are rude to her and generally tell her nothing helpful, but rather that she's an idiot and her marriage won't last. Sounds like the Internet.

I'm not certain that this photo is related, but it might be related to the woman asking for help with her Hatchet wedding:

An Insane Clown Posse wedding cake with Faygo soda (a fave of the ICP fans), a butcher knife, Juggalo/ette cake topper, and little hatchets adorning the cakes.

I don't fully understand the ICP thing, and I'm terrified of clowns, but I love this crazy cake, and crazy themed weddings in general.

If you're still intrigued by ICP weddings, check out this video. It's not particularly eventful, but it looks like everyone is having fun. If you need a group of fierce friends, it seems like you should become an ICP fan.


Want to learn more about the Insane Clown Posse? Listen to this ICP lecture given by Jenny. She knows a lot about a lot of things.

xo,
Kay Banks

Sweet story about nerd love

If you've ever worked retail, you'll have a story to submit to NotAlwaysRight - a blog focused on the stupid and idiotic things that customers say when they're shopping. Here's a sweet story about love in bloom:


Not related to the story, but awesome anyway.

(I was at work and I saw two girls from my college I knew as acquaintances, but not as much more than that. I had a crush on one of them as she was really pretty and seemed nice for the most part. I watched as she and her friend approached the register.)

My Crush: “No, you’re wrong! I’m telling you, he never said that!”

(I assumed they were gossiping about something until I listened a little more to the conversation.)

Her Friend: “No, he did! He totally did! We watched it last night, stupid!”

My Crush: “Obi-Wan never says, ‘I love you, Anakin’. The line is ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you!’.”

Her Friend: “No!”

My Crush: *turns to me* “Oh hey [my name]! What’s up?”

Me: “Not much. I’m good. And you’re right; Obi-Wan’s line was ‘You were my brother, Anakin. I loved you’.”

My Crush: “Oh, my God, thank you!” *turns to her friend* “And you call yourself a Star Wars fan.”

(Her friend scowled, but they paid and said goodbye. I watched as they got to the automatic doors. Her friend pretended to use ‘The Force’ on them. Suddenly, my crush jumped in front of her.)

My Crush: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

(I walked over and asked her out. We got married a month ago.)

D'awwwwww...more Star Wars nerd love.

xo,
KB

Horrific-yet-elegant wedding idea

If I was planning a horror-themed wedding, but I also wanted to have traditional elements, I'd steal this idea.

This room was designed by Amy Lau, an interior designer, using TV show Dexter as the inspiration.



A vinyl-wrapped table and ceiling and plastic-sheathed floor recall the protective plastic the character obsessively uses to protect against splatters when killing.

Mealtime is anything but dull when Dexter sets his table with Thomas Fuchs Wine & Water goblets that have a vein-like streak running down the stem. Red wine refills are available in blood vials.

More photos and information available here.

The wine-filled vials as the centerpiece is beautiful and smart - there's no better way to encourage your guests to enjoy themselves than to surround them with booze. Plus, you don't have to buy flowers or any other trinkets to decorate the table.

xo,

Kay

Villagers celebrate snake wedding

Those snakes. Always ruining the sanctity of marriage with their...showy snakiness.

Villagers in Cambodia have celebrated the wedding of two "magic" snakes. Hundreds of people travelled to the two-hour ceremony in Svay Rolum yesterday where 4.8m, 90kg female python Chamrouen was wed to her slightly smaller male mate Kroung Pich, The AP reports.


Funny snake cake toppers Oh, the Internet, I love you.

A pair of Buddhist monks blessed the reptiles and the villagers showered them with flowers as music played. Chamrouen's owner Neth Vy, 41, said: "We married these pythons to ask for health and prosperity in our village. We were told [by fortunetellers] that the two pythons are husband and wife and they need to live together, and if we don't marry them we will meet bad luck."

He added that the family had been bestowed with good fortune and improved living conditions since the snake had become part of the household.

Magic snakes. The innuendo possibilities are winking suggestively, so I'll just say...

Have a great weekend!

xo,
Kay Banks

Flash mob wedding

Christmas shoppers in a Boston mall in December were surprised when a crowd of people suddenly broke into song and choreographed dance moves in front of the stores. But they were left reeling when two of the revellers stripped off their winter clothes to reveal a wedding dress and tuxedo — and stepped down a makeshift "aisle" to exchange vows.

John Kleiman and Caroline Turcksin, a couple from Needham, Mass., decided to hold a "flash-mob" wedding to save money, and give their guests a unique experience. They had the occasion filmed to show Turcksin's family in Belgium — but since the clip went viral it has been viewed more than 300,000 times on YouTube.


If you're impatient: skip to 2:30 to see the wedding start

"The whole shebang was recession-friendly," says Megan Friedman in Time. The bride's dress cost $36, she did her own hair and make-up, and the reception cost a paltry $3,000. "Leave the lavish weddings to British royalty."

She's definitely pregnant, so maybe they're being smart and saving their money for the kid. It's sweet that the groom is so teary and clingy - cute!

xo,
Kay

Lisa's Wedding

It rarely gets mentioned here, but you should know that I am somewhat obsessed with the Simpsons. I pride myself on working obscure episode references into everyday conversation, but every Simpsons fan knows that some of the worst episodes are Lisa episodes. Poor Lisa. She doesn't mean to suck, she's just annoying and shrill. Even so, I'm a fan of Lisa's Wedding.

23 minutes condensed: Lisa goes to a fortune teller who specializes in foretelling the future of relationships where people get jerked around. The medium tells Lisa the story about her future first love, Hugh. He's basically Hugh Grant and Lisa spends the summer with him and his posh family during a break from college (did I mention that the year is 2010?). Hugh proposes, and Lisa has the anxiety-inducing obligation of bringing him back to the US to meet her family before the wedding. Things don't go as planned, Homer is an embarrassing boor, Lisa and Hugh realize the relationship can't work, and the wedding is called off. Let's look at some future memories from that one where Lisa almost got married.


Here's Lisa accepting Hugh's ring. He's English so he's portrayed as terribly smart, clever, and rich.



A shot of the wedding invitation. It's a little plain. I know Marge appreciates delicate tissue paper in wedding invitations, so maybe it was in a particularly beautiful envelope with a nice tissue overlay. The invitation fails to mention a reception, so perhaps this is a separate invitation for those invited only to the ceremony.


Lisa wonders if her dress should be white because of her past with Milhouse. Marge soothes Lisa's worries by telling her that Milhouse doesn't matter, and then they laugh at him. Ouch. Poor, pathetic Milhouse.


These are Homer's prized pig cuff links; they have been worn by every Simpsons groom. Shockingly, Hugh is appalled by the tacky wrist jewelry, but he agrees to wear them to please Homer, and then doesn't wear them.



And here's little Lisa as a bride. She looks like a Disney princess with her veil, crown, pearls, jewel brooch, gloves, and floral waistline. That is, like, A LOT going on in one dress, no? Homer looks like he's been back on the Dr. Nick window-to-weight-gain diet because he barely has a chin, and he's got a neck roll over the collar of his tuxedo jacket. Oh, Homer.

In the end, it all works out. In a different episode we discover that Lisa is the first (straight) female President, and she never could have done that tied to the kitchen sink at Hugh's family estate.

Smell ya later,

Kay Banks

Chicago groom countersues letigious bride

Remember this story about the bride who called the wedding off via lawsuit? Vito Salerno, the groom, is countersuing for the cost of the $45,500, 3-carat engagement ring that he says she refuses to return.

From the article (it reads more like a trashy joke novel):
Dominique Buttitta, the former bride, an attorney who works in Hoffman Estates, filed a breach of promise suit Dec. 11 in Cook County. She claimed Vito Salerno, of Barrington, left her holding the bag for a $30,000 banquet hall, $10,000 in live music, a $5,000 wedding gown and $11,000 for flowers, lighting and other expenses.

Salerno’s suit, filed Thursday, claims he kicked in $15,000 for the wedding. Salerno also paid toward pre-Cana Catholic wedding counseling [worked like a charm!], flower girls’ dresses, the honeymoon and other expenses, his suit says. Salerno’s filing claims he was "intentionally" kept in the dark about other wedding expenses and that interference from the bride’s family contributed to the breakup.

The Bride that wasn't. She looks intense!

Buttitta’s father allegedly turned thumbs down on his request that the couple’s first dance be to “Never Gonna Be Alone” by Nickelback [oh, the irony]. “You don’t want that song . . . that is a song played at a VFW hall,” her father said, according to the suit. The bride’s aunt also allegedly chimed in that the song was not “classy” enough.

The suit also claimed Salerno felt pressured to buy the pricey ring, believing that “Dominique expected a large ring because Dominique’s mother has an 8-carat ring which Dominique’s family refers to as ‘Rocky.’ ”

Buttitta’s family pressured Salerno to sign a prenuptial agreement and repeatedly brought up the matter even after he refused, according to the suit. After one refusal, the suit claims his bride-to-be hit him and stated, “You are f------ me over right now.”

A few days before the wedding, Buttitta allegedly told Salerno she would have nothing to do with his family after the wedding.

Another blow to the relationship, according to Salerno’s suit, occurred when his bride allegedly told him she had been treated for severe depression at the Mayo Clinic and was on medication. Earlier, Salerno claimed, Buttitta had told him she got a clean bill of health.

Salerno also claimed that Buttitta pressured him to provide details of who was present and what happened at the bachelor party at the Pink Monkey. When Salerno relented and told her about lap dances and that her brother and her sister’s boyfriend were present, “she spent more than a half-hour screaming and berating [Salerno].’’

Neither the bride nor groom, nor their attorneys, could be reached late Friday.

WOW. Just...wow.

xo,

Kay Banks

Plug and socket rings

If you have a weird sense of humor, enjoy potentially-dangerous jewelry, and are getting married, consider these rings. They're a beautiful and classy take on the similar Halloween costume.

The rings are $170 and $200 respectively, and are made from recycled silver. The website, Artifacts by Casey, says that the plug ring is "Not a life size replica". I'm guessing that means that you can't accidentally jam your ring finger in a live socket. But if you're looking to collect early on a life insurance policy, maybe you can email Casey and ask for the real deal*.

xo,

Kay Banks

*I'm joking, of course.

CAKE IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS

This is how I feel all the time:


With apologies to Hyperbole and a Half

How long has it been since I posted cake porn? Well, the dry spell has passed. CAKE:

Look at this gorgeous cake with white-on-white branches and fat peonies. I seriously want to, like, lick this cake. And rub my face all over the peonies. I wonder if they're fondant?

I like the cake sans-topper too. This is a really nice, balanced design, and the white cake stand compliments it so well.


Now, to completely change theme, here's a Giger-inspired Alien cake.

It's so creepy, and yet comical with the little dudes on top in their wedding finery. Topless Robot calls this post "In cake no one can hear you scream"


Still in the mood for geeky stuff? How about this adorable Pac-Man cake. Pac-Man is really making a comeback right now; I feel like he's showing up everywhere. This cake features Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man on top with ghosts along the sides of the tiers. I wonder if there are cherries on the back?

Suggestion for anyone making a Pac-Man cake - use cherries for the filling. Ha!

The Domestic Scientist made this cake for a friend's wedding. Sadly, she says that the cake dry, but I'll bet that most people were just bummed out about pooping green the day after eating this. Ever eaten a cake with black food coloring?

I'm not super girly, but this cake brings out the parasol-toting, frilly dress wearing side of me. It's so beautiful and ruffly and pretty. WANT.

I loooove the rounded edges of the tiers, the Victorian off-white cake plate, and the soft, simple flowers. It doesn't say if the cake is frosting or fondant. I hope it's frosting. Imagine that smell. Mmm...cake.

Are there any grown men who don't love Batman? I don't know of any, so I'll assume that this is the wedding cake of every man's dreams.

This cake has Batman, Catwoman, Joker, Poison Ivy, Penguin (Mr. Cobblepot, I presume?), and Harley running around the blood-spattered streets of Gotham City.

I'm full.

xo,

Kay Banks

Doctor WHO?

Do you watch Doctor Who? You don't?! OMG it's the best show in the history of shows!

That's the conversation I have with someone every time I admit that I've never seen an episode of Doctor Who. Sorry. I'll try it someday*.


For the uninitiated, Doctor Who has been on the air since the dawn of television. It's the longest-running sci-fi television series in the history of television, and it has millions of rabid fans. Because of the show's longevity, obviously it has had some cast switch-ups over time. The show has (according to Wikipedia) had eleven Doctor Whos. David Tennant, the last Doctor just got engaged to Georgia Moffett, daughter of Peter Davidson. Davidson played Doctor Who from 1981-1984. Crazy, right?


I, David Tennant, am shocked at the news!

The two met on set when Moffett had a role on the show as the Doctor's daughter, Jenny. I don't know what that means.


The only thing I understand about Doctor Who - a blue phone booth.

Weird, no? This news set the me and the husband off on a trip down memory lane. How many other same-show stars were married? Lucy and Desi (divorced), Dexter and his sister (divorce pending), the hot doctor ducklings from House (broken engagement), and Ozzy and Harriet (married, but supposedly died miserable). So, is this marriage a good idea? ANSWER: it's none of my business.

Have a great weekend!

xo,
Kay

Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer got married

Neil Gaiman got married to and twitter seemed to be the first to know.

Neil Gaiman (co/author of many, many books) married Amanda Palmer (a musician I recently learned about when my friend on Facebook went gaga for her ukulele Radiohead covers)

Here's the best part about her dress from Neil himself:

(Americans: busking means performing on the streets for money. Please learn it because it really simplifies conversations. Like fortnight. Why don't more people say fortnight?)

Here's their wedding pic

I love gothy nerds. I hope they share more pictures. But I'll be honest and say that I don't know much about their work, I just know a lot of people who are ravenous fans of both. Hey guys, this post is for you.

xo,

Kay Banks

You can't put a price on memories

Unless the memories are a bunch of drunken scribbles. In that case, the price is:


$95,452,009,310.40.


There's also $14.17 shipping. They always get me with the shipping costs.

Hope you're enjoying a good start to the year! 2011 is, like, THE FUTURE, amiright?

xo,

Kay Banks