Lisa's Wedding

It rarely gets mentioned here, but you should know that I am somewhat obsessed with the Simpsons. I pride myself on working obscure episode references into everyday conversation, but every Simpsons fan knows that some of the worst episodes are Lisa episodes. Poor Lisa. She doesn't mean to suck, she's just annoying and shrill. Even so, I'm a fan of Lisa's Wedding.

23 minutes condensed: Lisa goes to a fortune teller who specializes in foretelling the future of relationships where people get jerked around. The medium tells Lisa the story about her future first love, Hugh. He's basically Hugh Grant and Lisa spends the summer with him and his posh family during a break from college (did I mention that the year is 2010?). Hugh proposes, and Lisa has the anxiety-inducing obligation of bringing him back to the US to meet her family before the wedding. Things don't go as planned, Homer is an embarrassing boor, Lisa and Hugh realize the relationship can't work, and the wedding is called off. Let's look at some future memories from that one where Lisa almost got married.


Here's Lisa accepting Hugh's ring. He's English so he's portrayed as terribly smart, clever, and rich.



A shot of the wedding invitation. It's a little plain. I know Marge appreciates delicate tissue paper in wedding invitations, so maybe it was in a particularly beautiful envelope with a nice tissue overlay. The invitation fails to mention a reception, so perhaps this is a separate invitation for those invited only to the ceremony.


Lisa wonders if her dress should be white because of her past with Milhouse. Marge soothes Lisa's worries by telling her that Milhouse doesn't matter, and then they laugh at him. Ouch. Poor, pathetic Milhouse.


These are Homer's prized pig cuff links; they have been worn by every Simpsons groom. Shockingly, Hugh is appalled by the tacky wrist jewelry, but he agrees to wear them to please Homer, and then doesn't wear them.



And here's little Lisa as a bride. She looks like a Disney princess with her veil, crown, pearls, jewel brooch, gloves, and floral waistline. That is, like, A LOT going on in one dress, no? Homer looks like he's been back on the Dr. Nick window-to-weight-gain diet because he barely has a chin, and he's got a neck roll over the collar of his tuxedo jacket. Oh, Homer.

In the end, it all works out. In a different episode we discover that Lisa is the first (straight) female President, and she never could have done that tied to the kitchen sink at Hugh's family estate.

Smell ya later,

Kay Banks