Remember this beyotch? The one who faked cancer to get cool stuff for her wedding?
Jessica Vega – scammer, bad person
We can all bask in our schadenfreude because she has been sentenced to repay everything she scammed – all $13,000 of it, and she looks miserable in her mugshot.
To which I say:
Though, really, how is she ever going to pay that off? Those people will never get their money back.
Who gives a shit about the boring founder of a social networking site? Obviously someone does because an incredibly boring movie was made about him. I don’t even care enough to even click the links that come up in my RSS feed screaming about Facebook’s founder getting married. It’s so zzz…zzz…sorry, what?
This morning, I overcame boredom, and clicked the link. This is the photo that captured my attention:
OHMAIGAH LOOK AT THAT DOG!!!!! It’s flipping adorable. His name is Beast, and he’s the cutest, cuddliest thing ever. Beast has his own Facebook page, and I’m pleased to see that Zuckerberg and his wife don’t refer to themselves as the dog’s Mommy and Daddy! because that is creepy and annoying.
Anyway, here’s the couple getting married:
Her name is Priscilla Chan, and she’s a lot better looking than he is. Also, I like her dress.
The wedding was a surprise for guests, who thought they were going to a graduation party for Priscizzzzz…zzzzz….
Sorry, what? Oh! Lookit! Pictures of dogs!
If you’re not into celebrating your wedding anniversary in the traditional way, but you want to pay homage to the ages-old list of anniversary themes, I suggest movies. My husband and I did this recently because we thought it would be funny. It was.
I’m sure there are some less-obvious choices for every year – if you think of one, please email me, or leave a comment.
First anniversary – paper
Movie: Paper Moon, about a father saddled with what might be his daughter; set during the Great Depression. The father and daughter are played by real-life father/daughter team Ryan and Tatum O’Neal.
Second anniversary – cotton
Movie: The Cotton Club, another period piece about a famous Jazz club in Harlem. Directed by Francis Ford Coppola, it’s a crime/drama movie.
Third anniversary – leather
Movie: The Leather Boys, a rocker/biker couple in London in the 1960s. They couple is newly married, and their relationship is off to a rocky start. (Spoiler alert: he might be gay)
Fourth anniversary – linen or silk
Movie: People really hate the movie Silk (starring Keira Knightley and Michael Pitt, so obviously it is really bad), so I suggest a documentary about the Silk Road. I have not seen this documentary, but I think the Silk Road is fascinating! Imagine the guts it takes to cross an enormous desert in China with no modern technology or bottled water.
Fifth anniversary – wood
Movie: Ed Wood, a biopic about the director. Martin Landau is amazing, Sarah Jessica Parker asks if she really has a face like a horse, and Johnny Depp wears angora sweaters.
Sixth anniversary – iron
Movie: Iron Man, based on the comic book, he’s a super hero born from a terrible accident. Starring Robert Downey Jr., it’s just a fun movie to watch.
Seventh anniversary – wool
Movies: If you like dramas, check out Wool Cap, a story about a guy with PTSD who must care for an abandoned child (while he wears a wool cap). If you enjoy horror movies, and a solid reach on the wool theme, try Black Sheep, a quirky New Zealand horror movie about sheep (which is wear wool comes from).
Eighth anniversary – bronze
Movie: a well-liked documentary called The Bronze Screen: 100 Years of the Latino Image in American Cinema. Not strictly about bronze, but it will surely feature a few of your favorite Latino actors.
Ninth anniversary – pottery
Movies: Miss Potter, which is not about pottery, but Beatrix Potter the author, or if you’re the schmaltzy romantic type, you could watch Ghost for the famous pottery scene (HAHA).
Tenth anniversary – tin
If you like awful, sports-based romcoms, you could watch the movie/punch line Tin Cup, or you could stretch the theme and watch the animated adventure movie The Adventures of Tin Tin.
Would you forego the fancy anniversary dinner for an evening on the sofa in pajamas? I would! In a heartbeat.
-KB
I try not to completely shit all over people’s dreams, but:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAhahahahahahaha…ha…oh.
hahaha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaha *snort* ahahahahahaahahahahahaaaahahahahaa. ha. ha. hm. Ahem. Sorry**.
Just one month after going public with their romance, Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are "very serious," a source tells the new Us Weekly -- as in, ready to pick out rings.
Although the reality star, 31, has yet to finalize her divorce from NBA star Kris Humphries, she and the rapper, 34, "are talking marriage," says the source. (Over the weekend, Kardashian jetted back from Washington, DC, where she was a guest at the White House Correspondents' Dinner Saturday, to be by West's side for a Sunday performance of Broadway's Wicked.)
**I am not sorry.
For some reason, I love stories about couples who get married in stores. It strikes me as really funny to get all fancied up in wedding finery, and then head out to Waffle House [link: Waffle House Wedding], or, in this case, IKEA.
Julie Rodgers and Willie Pittman got married at the College Park, Maryland IKEA. They decided it was the ideal spot, since their first date took place at IKEA in 2010.
The two went to school together over 30 years ago, and reconnected via the magic of the Internet.
They really do look happy and adorable
When Rodgers initially planned out her wedding, she just planned on sharing a few meatballs and taking pictures. However, when she contacted IKEA and told them her love story, they offered her space at the store for no charge. Additionally, the store decided to throw in linens, chairs, and food.
IKEA helped the couple put their special day together in the store’s restaurant.
About 25 guests filled the restaurant area of the store.
The ceremony
The wedding was held April 17, 2012
The happy bride
The groom has such a great smile
Aw, I love these stories! They make my grinch heart grow three sizes too large.
-KB
Several years ago, I mentioned my intense love for RuPaul’s Drag Race. Obviously, you guys like it too because the Drag Queen wedding shoot is one of my most-visited posts.
Link: RuPaul’s Drag Wedding
Nothing has changed. It’s still one of my favorite shows, and I cannot wait to see who wins. Sharon Needles all the way, amirite?
Naturally, I’m looking for any way to tie a show I love into a blog I love, so here it is:
RuPaul tweets: If a bride doesn’t wear false eyelashes at her wedding, the marriage will most definitely be a complete & utter failure
Haha, oh Ru.
I hope that the All-Star season includes another wedding challenge because I will love it.
Happy Monday!
p.s. I am entertaining all hot tips to learn what Willam did to get kicked off. I can’t wait until next week, I wanna know now.
Anyone who has spent any time in a hospital – visiting or as a patient – will agree that the NG tube is one of the most horrible experiences. NG means nasogastric intubation – a tube is shoved up the nose, down the throat, and into the stomach. Mostly, the NG tube is used to feed patients a nutritional goo during hospital stays. Ask someone who’s had an NG tube what it was like and they’ll probably agree that it was one of the worst experiences of their life.
Knowing how horrible an NG tube can be, I’m horrified that anyone would do this:
This woman spent $1500 to lose 10 pounds – the method was a feeding tube. The same method used in hospitals to feed patients who can’t eat, or who are in a coma is being used to lose 10 vanity pounds. Sick sick sick.
I question the mental health of anyone who is so desperate to lose 10 pounds, and the ethics of a doctor who would do this to someone.
Full story, plus video here.
25-year-old Jessica Vega faked terminal leukemia so that she could have a luxurious wedding ceremony, reception, and Aruba honeymoon. She has just been indicted by a New York Grand Jury.
In 2010, Vega claimed that she was dying of cancer and that her dying wish was to marry the father of her child. The story caught on with her community, and there was an outpouring of donations to make this cancer-stricken woman’s dream come true.
FOR FREE the couple received wedding rings, flowers, a $1,200 gown, and the aforementioned Aruba vacation.
The husband, Michael O’Connell, filed for divorce four months after the wedding, when he found out about the scam. He is now accepting her back because she’s the mother of his two children.
The maximum prison sentence is 4 years. Her husband says his ex-wife should have to repay donors and apologize, not face jail time. (Wonder where that money will come from? Maybe she’ll steal it from a children’s charity?)
This story makes my blood boil. Every smug look I see of this horrible woman makes me want to do terrible things to her
If you don’t believe me, just look at her:
Sucks for her because she’s ugly on the inside.
-KB
p.s. heyyyy, I’m back!
Please stop the madness.
(I guess the Village People are possessive over this song, so there’s no audio for this video. You’re welcome.)
Personally, I think Nat King Cole, Etta James, and Louis Armstrong are timeless, so I disagree with people who say that people shouldn’t play songs like “Unforgettable”, “At Last”, and “What a Wonderful World”. They might be overplayed, but I’ll never get sick of them.
I would love to hear this at a wedding – especially for a first dance. Because, COME ON, it’s true:
Did you know that February 29, aka Leap Year Day is the day when women propose to men? It’s the Sadie Hawkins Dance for proposals.
The tradition of a woman proposing on a leap year has been attributed to various historical figures. One, although much disputed, was St Bridget in the 5th Century. She is said to have complained to St Patrick that women had to wait too long for their suitors to propose. St Patrick then supposedly gave women a single day in a leap year to pop the question - the last day of the shortest month. Another popular story is that Queen Margaret of Scotland brought in a law setting fines for men who turned down marriage proposals put by women on a leap year. Skeptics have pointed out that Margaret was five years old at the time and living far away in Norway. The tradition is not thought to have become commonplace until the 19th Century.
Propose now Bessie, or I’ll hit you with my cane.
The practice of women proposing in a leap year is different around the world. In Denmark, it is not supposed to be 29 but 24 February, which hails back to the time of Julius Caesar. A refusal to marry by Danish men means they must give the woman 12 pairs of gloves. In Finland, it is not gloves but fabric for a skirt and in Greece, marriage in a leap year is considered unlucky, leading many couples to avoid it.
Forget engagements, I think it’s the perfect day to get married. Then you’d only have to remember once every four years, and it could be a big celebration.
Dana Jackson and Bill Strauss were married on Dana’s 100th birthday. The groom is 87. Get it, girl!
The two were married at their nursing home in Bowling Green, Kentucky.
The video shows her bachelorette party at a diner, her pretty gown with lengthy train, and a little wisdom from a woman who made it to 100.
Bill is blind, so he can’t see his bride until she reaches the end of the aisle.
My favorite quote from Dana:
It’s not what you’ve got, it’s what you make out of a marriage.
Aw.
As you’ve undoubtedly heard, Whitney Houston died over the weekend at the age of 48. Since this is a wedding blog, and not a sad times blog, let’s look at her happier days – specifically, her wedding to Bobby Brown.
Whitney Houston married Bobby Brown on July 18, 1992, at her home in New Jersey. There were about 800 guests at their wedding. The two met while attending the Soul Train Music Awards in 1989. She was dating Eddie Murphy when they met. I guess Whitney found someone better for party-all-the-time fun. You’re welcome for the link.
Recently, Whitney Houston’s been more infamous for her drug use and erratic behavior than her singing and acting, but in 1992, she was the Biggest Thing Ever. This wedding was a Brad-and-Angelina big deal.
Pics from LipstickAlley
Here’s their wedding altar – dripping with roses!
Wedding details from an article in Ebony, thanks to the Classic Whitney site:
Diane Johnson, who has been designing Houston's stage and personal wardrobes for years, co-designed the bridal gown with Marc Bouwer. "Whitney wanted to keep it a very simple design," says Johnson, who runs a boutique in East Orange, N.J., Houston's hometown. "The Lyon lace, imported from France, is the finest lace in the world. The lace made the dress." In addition, Johnson designed the groom's white double-breasted silk tuxedo and the bridesmaids' purple silk floor-length gowns with trains.
Purple, purple, everywhere!
Among the attendants were two of Houston closest pals, recording artists Priscilla (CeCe) Winans Love and Perry (Pebbles) Reid. The best man, Brown's brother, Tommy, and the groomsmen, who included Houston's brother, Michael, were all attired in Johnson-designed purple tuxedos with matching purple alligator shoes that were custom-made in Italy. The four flower girls and three ring bearers were adorable in white and lavender.
"Purple is Whitney's favorite color," Johnson emphasizes. "She wanted everything in purple and lavender and white. She even decorates her Christmas tree in purple."
The couple exchanged identical platinum wedding bands. Hers had the words "Love, Bobby" in cut-out script, while his read, "Love, Whitney."
After Brown enthusiastically declared, "I do!!" and the couple were pronounced husband and wife, the guests were awed as seven white doves were released outside the gazebo. The couple then sealed the union with a long, passionate kiss during which Brown literally lifted his bride into the air as the jubilant guests applauded.
Looking happy!
Their reception lasted over 12 hours, and the couple went on a lavish honeymoon – a wedding present from their record companies.
I do not like the body language here. He looks like he’s taking possession of her, and her hands are twisted behind her back, as though she’s in handcuffs. Am I reading too much into this? Since they divorced: NO.
The two had one daughter – Bobby Kristina. They separated and divorced in 2006.
Aw, so pretty and 80s! I know it was the 90s, but there’s always a hangover for the first few years. The headpiece makes her look more ethereal, but I always loved her gorgeous, naturally voluminous hair.
I can’t not love Drew Barrymore. I find her adorable. I remember once, YEARS ago, I was listening to some Rabbi-hosted talk show at, like 3am. The topic was love, relationships, or marriage, and for some reason Drew Barrymore called in. I guess she was up and randomly listening to talk radio too! She gushed about love, and good for her, right? It doesn’t work out for her, but she always loves again anyway.
So, in that same vein, Drew Barrymore is engaged again. I thought she was still dating “Mac” from the Mac vs. P.C. commercials, but she’s been dating Will Kopelman since 2010. She says she’s already dreaming about the wedding.
She’s been married twice before. Her first marriage lasted one month, and her second marriage lasted about six months.
Her second husband was Tom Green, a comedian my husband inexplicably loves. This is for you, weirdo!
I totally love out-there hippies, so I find this story really interesting.
My main objection is the singing of Jack Johnson during the ceremony
Babylonia Aivaz (awesome name, yes?) married a warehouse in Seattle at 10th Avenue and Union Street on Sunday, January 29, 2012.
She claims to be part of the Occupy Seattle protest, and she wants the building to be reclaimed as community space. Roughly 30 people attended the event, which was (my assumption:) organized to stop the demolition of the 107-year-old building. The building will be demolished to make way for new apartments.
The building is forced to say “I Do”
Aivaz claims the wedding is a gay union, because the building is a woman. Protesters were present because they are upset that she’s hurting the same-sex wedding cause…because buildings aren’t people, and this sounds like fodder for one of those “What if people tried to marry snakes!!?” arguments.
Protesters, doin’ what they do.
So, what’s the point to all of this? I don’t know, Man. Seattle’s a funny place. Maybe it makes sense there.
I 100% support the right to protest things that seem unfair, but marrying a building is pointless, and protecting this grubby building from a timely demise is weird. It’s too bad they didn’t spend the same effort into figuring out actual plans for a community-positive function for the building. Maybe they could have gotten the neighborhood to rally behind them. It smells like fame-whoring to me.
The news of Heidi Klum and Seal’s divorce is SUCH A DOWNER, right? I loved them, their adorable children, and their crazy parties.
I only discovered their annual themed anniversary parties last year, and I remember looking forward to all the themes to come because it seemed like they were so great together.
“In a statement Sunday night, the power couple announced their separation after rumors swirled over the weekend that a divorce was imminent.
While we have enjoyed seven very loving, loyal and happy years of marriage, after much soul searching we have decided to separate," the joint statement read. "We have had the deepest respect for one another throughout our relationship and continue to love each other very much, but we have grown apart. This is an amicable process and protecting the well-being of our children remains our top priority, especially during this time of transition. We thank our family, friends, and fans for their kind words of support. And for our children's sake, we appreciate you respecting our privacy."
I guess Ric Ocasek (of the Cars) and Paulina Porizkova are our only hope for musician/model eternal love. They’ve got some cute kids too.
This pic is from 2006. I’m just assuming the kids are still cute.
Found via my #1 timewaster Reddit, here’s a little nugget of dumbness from Yahoo! Answers.
If you’re grown-up enough to get married, maybe you should be smart enough to do a little Internet sleuthing on your own, no?
I wonder if they truly tried to exchange their Dollars for Puka shells.
Happy weekend!
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