Conan O'Brien's wedding

Since Coco is the talk of the town, I thought it would be interesting to take a look back at his wedding.

Conan O'Brien met Elizabeth Ann 'Liza' Powell in 2000 when she appeared on Late Night with Conan O'Brien in an advertising skit. The couple dated for nearly 18 months before their marriage in Powell's hometown of Seattle. They were married at a Catholic church on a very rainy day - January 12, 2002. They have two children - a daughter Neve (born in 2003) and son Beckett (born in 2005).


Here they are in the church. Look at all those people - so happy to be done with the looooong Catholic ceremony. She's really tall for a lady! She doesn't look dwarfed by Conan and his giant head at all.


I love the lace "jacket" that she's wearing over her dress. It's very pretty and very appropriate for such miserable weather. While I love the rain, I don't love the idea of trying to wear a gown in the rain. But I guess that's what you get when you get married in Seattle. I like his white-on-white shirt and tie with the classic dark suit. His hair is looking especially wacky.


You can really see the rain here. He looks so funny! The bridesmaid in the background has a funny look on her face too. I love the color scheme that they chose. Red, white, and black will always be a beautiful and elegant color scheme - especially for a winter wedding.

Also, I found this adorable photo on a Seattle wedding photographer's blog


From the Cory Parris blog: It shows me making faces trying to make a child smile. Oblivious to the fact that Conan O’Brien, one of the world’s funniest men and the child’s father is standing right there. I’m fairly confidant that he could have done a better job!

No word on whether the masturbating bear and Triumph the Insult Comic Dog were there. Triumph probably had better things to...POOP ON!

Kay

Bizarre couple loves their bizarre photos

I almost feel guilty snarking these people twice, but I would love to know the thought behind their weird wedding photos?



Last time they were about to get down to business while listening to the world's tiniest violin, and this time they're contemplating jewelry and fruit.

Here are some theories:
They are Adam and Eve, and she's about to mess everything up by eating that apple
She lost her ring and the photographer offered to Photoshop it in over the apple
She is pregnant, and the apple represents the fruit of their love

Agnieszka and Daniel, WTFingF?

-Kay

First public gay wedding in China

I am terrified of China. I love their food, and a few of their people, and I hope to see China for myself someday, but the government scares me. A LOT. With the scary overlords in mind, I think that this takes balls. Four of them, to be precise:

According to China’s state-run newspaper, China Daily, on January 3, 2010, Zeng Anquan and Pan Wenjie had a wedding at a gay bar in Chengdu of southwest China’s Sichuan Province. The couple regrets that they cannot receive a marriage certificate from the Chinese government, but the fact that the state-run newspaper has given their wedding publicity shows a movement toward that goal.



Neither of the men who were wed had family in attendance, but they were surrounded by gay friends. Pan’s former girlfriend volunteered to be Pan’s bridesmaid at the wedding. “We are no longer hiding any more. The wedding is our happiest and most precious moment,” Zeng told the China Daily.

The government has made no official response to the wedding.

Huang Zhiling and Zhang Ao report, “The country has roughly 30 million homosexuals – 20 million gay men and the remaining, lesbians, according to estimates by Zhang Beichuan, a professor at Qingdao University and an expert on homosexuality and HIV/AIDS prevention.”

When I was studying the rhetoric of gender years ago, a professor told me that there was not even a word for “gay” in the Mandarin (Chinese) language. This is a big leap, and I am encouraged that China allows gay bars to be open, and that the Chinese state-run newspaper is making an announcement of lifelong love between two men so public.

Good luck to them [run for your bloody lives!]

Kay Banks

Earthquake interrupts wedding

If I started writing for the cheesy local news, I'd say something silly like "Couples usually feel the Earth move on the wedding night but this couple had a moving experience on their wedding day!"

Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's move on.


Addie Hauschild-Willis and her husband to be, Ian Willis, were changing clothes just 20minutes before their wedding ceremony on January 9 in Eureka when a 6.5 magnitude quake hit 27 miles off the northern coast of California. The earthquake occurred at 4:27 p.m. It knocked out power in the Eureka area and caused moderate damage to some structures.

While no one in the wedding party was hurt, it wasn't exactly part of the couple's plans. "And I looked at him and grabbed his arm and said, 'Oh my God, we're having an earthquake,'" said Hauschild-Willis. "We thought we were going to fall from the second floor down to the bottom floor."

Hauschild-Willis said the earthquake yanked them left and right, about six or seven inches. "I saw my younger daughter go flying down the hall. She was yelling, 'Where are my children? Where are my children?,'" said LaRee Hauschild, the mother of the bride. The kids were safe. They were sequestered under a table as the shaking seemed to go on forever.



"We were looking out the window and the trees are shaking, the windows are shaking...and then it got really violent," said Hauschild-Willis. Her uncle's store at the nearby Bayshore Mall was a mess. Merchandise was with littered across the floor. But after a quick check, the family decided the wedding had to go on.

"This is our wedding day and we had a major earthquake. How awesome is that?," said Hauschild-Willis. With the power out, family members lit candles and the couple read their vows by flashlight. "It turned out, actually, quite beautiful," said Hauschild-Willis, adding she is not superstitious. "I don't take it as a sign that our marriage is doomed or anything, because there was an earthquake that day."



Her mother said except for a slimmed down wedding dinner, it was everything she'd hoped for, and more. "She certainly had a memorable wedding day. It was one that we will never forget, ever, in our lives," said Hauschild.

As long as there's no damage (and certainly no lost life), the little earthquakes generally don't disrupt anything. Visitors to California always seem terrified that The Big One will strike during their stay, but anything under 5 just makes the day more interesting. The earthquake scene in LA Story is not that far off from some of my experiences. But I don't drink half-caff. Oh no.

-Kay

Renewing your vows won't erase infidelity

This is just sad and delusional. But...whatever. They're celebrities - maybe they are good at acting like this will fix their marital problems. Here's the gossip article:

Nicole Forrester who?! One has to think that was the message Josh Duhamel was trying to send last week when he surprised his wife, Fergie, with a vow renewal ceremony. The couple, who married exactly a year ago today, wed again Wednesday, with just the two of them and a minister just outside Santa Barbara, Calif. "It was a total surprise for Fergie," a source said.


Creepy photo from their wedding shoot

Duhamel whisked Fergie away via private helicopter. During the 15-minute ceremony, overlooking the ocean, Fergie was "crying and very emotional." [She was probably picturing her husband having sex with a stripper. I'd cry too. Then I'd punch things. And by things, I mean testicles]

Afterward, the couple had a romantic dinner at the resort's upscale Miro eatery, then returned via helicopter to Los Angeles with their renewed marriage. In November, Forrester, an Atlanta stripper, alleged she had an affair with Duhamel while he was shooting the film Life As We Know It, a claim he denied. Sources close to the couple say that enduring the ordeal, which was widely reported by celebrity gossip tabloids, actually made their marriage stronger. Whether that's true or not, they're working hard on it!

Eh, whatever. If my husband cheated on my so soon after our wedding, I'd be done. But that Fergie, she never gives up. I remember her from KIDS Incorporated AND Wild Orchid (her terrible girl band). She really, really wanted to be famous. I'm kind of hard on her, right? Yeah, I am. And I don't care.

Bitchily,

Kay Banks

P.S. Have a great weekend! :)

P.S.S. If you haven't already done so, shoot me an email for your chance to win the Gothic Wedding Planner!

Haiti

You don't need my encouragement, but in case you're too lazy to figure out how you can help the people of Haiti, here are some links:

Doctors Without Borders

American Red Cross

Both links will take you right to a donation page.





I won't post pictures of the human destruction, but just look at this picture. This is the Palace. Where the rich guys live.



Kay Banks

Can't touch this

Laura submitted this to Awkward Family Photos:



Says Laura: I recently photographed my sister-in-law’s wedding (my husband’s sister). I knew the window overlooked a part of the hotel’s roof, but I didn’t notice the workers until after I snapped a few pictures. When I got home and downloaded all the pictures, I couldn’t stop laughing when I saw this. Lucky for me she has a good sense of humor and allowed me to share it with you.

I love the juxtaposition of "This is my wedding day!" against "I am working in the snow". And, of course, butts are always funny.

-Kay

Enter to win a FREE Goth wedding planner! Just check out Monday's post for details!

Couple marries after getting divorced

After their divorce was finalised in November, Jan and Lee Jones from Southend-on-Sea, Essex, decided they could not live without each other and got remarried on Christmas Eve. They had their 10 children at the ceremony.

Mrs Jones, 44, said: "We separated because of the usual things which cause problems, like finance and other issues which put pressure on any relationship. But we simply decided we couldn't live apart so we got married again."

The bride and her husband, 41, met in April 1989 and were married in July 1990 at the United Reform Church in Southend. Mrs Jones said: "It was a traditional church wedding with all our friends and family."

She had a son James, now 23, from a previous marriage, but the couple had their first child together Lee, now 18, in January 1991. After that came Paul, 17, Stephen, 13, Hannah, 9, Amy, 7, Ella, 5, Emily, 3, George, 2, and Callum, 1. They decided to separate after nearly 20 years of marriage in January 2009.


Delusion makes people so happy

Mr Jones said: "We had a lot of problems, like money problems, me working and Jan doing all the work at home, relying on friends to help take the children to school. We tried to make it work but we couldn't. We thought we would get divorced and see what happened. I moved out and got a room and I was coming around seeing the children every time I could."

The pair stayed amicable for the sake of their kids and were in constant phone and text contact. Mr Jones said: "I'm used to the children and Jan being around me and being on my own was like something was missing out of my life. We were texting each other and ringing and I was coming around all the time. It was the worst time of my life."

They pressed ahead with the divorce but when the papers came through in November, the reality of what they had lost hit home. Mrs Jones said: "The crux was when the divorce papers came through, it all hit home. I opened up the letter and thought, 'this is a bit final'. I texted Lee and said, 'have you got it?'."

Her husband continued: "It felt like we were not just throwing away 20 years together, we had grown up together." The couple started talking about the future and realised they did not want to be apart. Mrs Jones said: "We were sitting at the kitchen table together one night talking about it and I said, 'but I still love you' and he said, 'but I still love you – why are we doing it?'. We decided to give it another go."

Mr Jones said: "We thought it would be romantic to get married on Christmas Eve but never thought we would be able to. I rang them and they said they had an opening at 11am on Christmas Eve and we decided to go for it."

All the children were bridesmaids and page boys and the nearly new bride got her strapless pink wedding dress and butterscotch-coloured attendants' gowns from a local shop. They had 25 guests and held their buffet reception at the Exchange pub in Southend.

I can't get behind people who have ten freaking kids and decide to get divorced, but I'm glad they stayed together. I think it's pretty irresponsible to plan a wedding with new dresses and dinner guests when they were arguing over money troubles and they have (again) TEN FREAKING KIDS to support. Ugh.

-Kay

Found here

Don't forget to enter the contest to win a FREE Goth wedding planner! Just check out Monday's post for details!

When it comes to cake, this is me...

HAHAHAHA!

That is all.

Found here

A-MAZING geeky wedding cakes

Check out these fan-freaking-tastic geek cakes from Cake Wrecks!


This one is for all the 8-bit lovers out there - Link & Zelda cupcake mosaics. Awesome!



This one is nearest to my heart - A mixed-race, cast member* couple with a SNES cake! I think it's funny that their Miis top the SNES. If you had explained a Wii to me after I first got my SNES, I would have told you that you were full of s*** (Sega, of course), because I never thought video games would advance past that. Yeah, I was a dumb kid.


This next one just blows my mind. I've seen Mario wedding cakes before, but this one is executed so perfectly.

The most complex, perfect, beautiful Super Mario Brothers wedding cake EVER. ...EVER!

According to Jen (from Cake Wrecks, of course) this cake was made by a hobbyist named Frances Clayton. Not a pro! For the love of Luigi, Frances, GO PRO!

GeeDee water levels! Grumble grumble grumble. I love that the tier supports are the warp tunnels. Obsessive detail!


As if that weren't enough, there are these amazing side cakes!

I only wish I knew what flavor is inside all that gorgeousness. Why don't they ever say???

Hungrily,

Kay

Don't forget to enter the contest to win a FREE Goth wedding planner! Just check out yesterday's post for details!

*Oh, you didn't know? "Cast Member" is Disney-speak for employee. You are a "guest" not a visitor or a customer, and when you go to the parks you will never see "backstage". Got it?

Product Review: Gothic Wedding Planner (plus a chance to win a FREE Goth wedding planner!)

I recently got a copy of the Gothic Wedding Planner from Wedding Skulls, and I'm pleased to say that it is a great guide for anyone planning a spooky or dark wedding. The bones of the planner are very good - it is well thought-out, it urges you to decide what's important for your wedding, and it sets forth a basic budget. It is an eBook downloaded in the PDF format, but if you're the touchy-feely type, you can print it. And if you're the techy type, you can put it on your electronic book reader. [OT, but damn I love my Kindle!]

A main focus of the planner is setting a realistic budget, and planning accordingly. So many of the planners that I saw when I was planning a wedding were over-simplistic. X + Y = Your budget. So not true! There are so many unexpected things that crop up while planning a wedding. Steff (the author) specifically says "Now take your budget, and add 10% to it. That is what your wedding will probably actually cost..." Excellent advice. If your budget + 10% seems unmanageable, start your budget again! The worst thing you can do is start your new life drowning in debt.


Here's the cake from my imaginary Halloween wedding

Of course, the planner is different from other planners because it focuses on Goth/spooky/dark/macabre weddings. My favorite kind! There are tons of great ideas for themes, non-traditional ceremonies, locations, food, attire, entertainment, and even a list of first-dance songs for a dark wedding. You might think that you already know everything from the dark realms of pop culture (and beyond!), but this planner is very thorough. Elements from all corners of the Goth world have been covered - whether you want a romantic goth wedding or a freaky space-age goth wedding!

Reading this planner is like getting good advice from a seasoned friend. Steff covers all the elements of weddings that you know, and the ones that you hadn't thought of. I had a lot of surprises when I was wedding planning because I didn't really have many married friends. Having this planner is the same as having a smarty-pants friend, only she doesn't second-guess your ideas. She encourages you to do what you want, and focus on the things that make it your special day. But you're the bride, you're not a bloody princess. Like a good friend, the planner gently reminds you to keep your cool and keep that bridezilla attitude in check. It's a special day, and one day is not worth a ruined relationship.


The candy buffet from Corey and John's Halloween wedding

There were a few points that I personally disagreed with. Sending out Save the Dates and setting up a Wedding Website were imperative for me because I had so many out-of-town and out-of-country guests. About a third of my wedding guests needed to know the date well in advance, and needed the travel information that I put on our site. But, just like friends, you're bound to disagree. And I'm sure that Steff would agree that if it's right for you, do it! Having a Goth wedding doesn't mean that you can't have any elements of tradition. Having a nice-girl, traditional wedding doesn't mean that you can't let your Goth side show. If you and your Groom want it, and it fits within your budget, then DO IT!

Toward the end of the planner, there are some worksheets and checklists for you to use. They are a good start. Perhaps because I am an anal-retentive planner, they wouldn't be enough for me. I need interactive spreadsheets! I need color-coded guest lists! But the checklists are an excellent foundation, and you'd have to buy several bridal magazines to get all of this information. Who wants to dig through all of those cold, plastic-smile bridal magazines to get to the good stuff?


The author Steff Green and her cantankerous groom on their lovely wedding day

In addition to the Goth Wedding Planner, I got to take a peek at Steff's Goth Wedding Directory. I don't think you even need to be in the throes of wedding planning to enjoy it. I found several things that would make my day-to-day life more fun and a little more spooky. The stores listed will inspire your Goth wedding, and make your daily shopping easier. I found several shops that make beautiful hand-made things that I had never heard of before.

Overall, I say YES, buy this planner. It costs a mere $9 and you don't have to sift through a lot of ads to find the good stuff. The format is not as polished as a magazine, but it is easy to read, easy to search through, and features lovely photos from Steff's wedding.

Want to win a copy for yourself? Of course you do! All you have to do is send an email with the subject GOTH WEDDING PLANNER to bloggerofthebride {at} gmail {dot} com. You know what to do! I'll announce the winner next Monday.

Skulls and kisses,

Kay Banks

Alternative (and geeky!) ideas for wedding rings

Not into the look of a big showy diamond atop a showy display of little diamonds? Me neither. Check out these alternative ideas for wedding rings from Wedinator.




These are thick bands topped with male and female CAT5 connectors. I'm not sure anyone could actually wear these, but they are different. And they loose the ring adornments, they can just replace them at the local electronics store - cheap!



These are rings molded from plastic zip ties. I love them! The way these ones are shaped is a little strange, but I love the concept and the texture of the plastic in metal.

It's been a long first week of the year - hooray for Friday! Have a great weekend. Be sure to drop me a line if YOU have an alternative wedding ring.

-Kay

Light-writing marriage proposal

A guy named Derick spent three nights in Raleigh, North Carolina making a light-writing proposal for his girlfriend (now fiance) Emily.



Using a digital SLR and a powerful light, he created this photo because he wanted "to find a very special way to propose to a very special woman" Smart guy - always put effort into the proposal or you'll never hear the end of it!

You can read more about how he did it at their site. Here's a (well-produced, but lengthy) behind-the-scenes video.



-Kay

Found at Blame it on the Voices.

Funny hyphenated names

I have a weird name, and it's even worse when combined with my husband's name, so I can sympathize with these people (while pointing and laughing)



They could change their name to Pabst. I don't care how much the hipsters like it, it's crap.



I...um...hm.



Well, where else would hookers live?



Sounds uncomfortable.



Hardy-Harr is hysterical! I would keep it and wear it proudly.


-KB

Vince Vaughn had a low-key wedding

I mocked Vince Vaughn for saying that he hates overblown celebrity weddings, when he purchased a $125K ring for his fiance, but true to his word he was married in a small ceremony.
Actor Vince Vaughn has married his partner Kyla Weber in a low-key ceremony in Chicago.



The couple tied the knot on Saturday with close family and friends in attendance- according to the star’s spokesperson.

Vaughn is famous for roles in movies including Dodgeball, Wedding Crashers, Old School, Swingers and Anchorman.

Weber is a Canadian estate agent. The couple have rarely been spotted together in public.

Hey...good for them...

Kay

Best of Craigslist - wedding cake

I love the best of Craigslist. It's always fascinating to see what people really think.
Formatting changes done by me:

So, first of all, congratulations to my good friends who got married last weekend. Congratulations, mazel tov, good luck. It was great and I hope you guys are happy forever. That said, I couldn't help but look around at your wedding and think, Wow. I don't want any of this.

But don't think that your wedding specifically turned me off to weddings. No, we are all now in our late twenties and wedding invitations appear in the mail with almost the same frequency that delivery guys slip take-out menus under my door. And now, having attended and been in a few weddings, I can't help but think "I don't want any of it."



I don't want a country club or a church. I don't want a hotel ballroom or a big white tent. I don't want a priest or a rabbi. I don't want 200 people there who I don't even know. I don't want numbered tables. I don't want to put all of my random "single" friends at one table in the corner of the room, making them feel even more alienated than they already are at a stereotypically "coupled" event. I don't want bridesmaid drama. I don't want all of my bridesmaids wearing the same ugly color and the same ugly dress and hating their shoes so much that they curse me behind my back. I don't think I even want bridesmaids. I don't want anyone to sign a guestbook where they have to come up with some spontaneous wisdom about love and happiness. I don't want cute little party favors with the bride's and groom's names scripted in gold, proclaiming "our special day." I don't want people to figure out their seating arrangements by picking up their party favors, which are also wrapped in pink chiffon. I don't want a big white dress. I don't want to have to ask friends and cousins whom I see maybe once a year if their 5-year-old son/daughter whom I don't even really like can be my ring bearer/flower girl. I don't want guys in blue shirts and khaki pants measuring each others' dicks with the phrase, "So, what do you do?" I don't want bored out of their mind cater waiters and bartenders, who hate weddings in a way that even I will never understand. I don't want "cocktail hour" and passed hors d'oeuvres and most people only caring about getting buzzed before the open bar ends. I don't want to mail out then sort through 300 invitations to find out who wants steak and who wants salmon. I don't want to be registered at Crate&Barrel. I don't want my friends finding that all the cheaper items on my registry are gone and that, like, five of them have to go in on a set of overpriced knives. I don't think I want a registry at all. I don't want to have to kiss all of my mother's friends on the cheek, or, even worse, all of my future mother-in-law's friends. I don't want a color "scheme." I don't want a creepy DJ or a weird band that does a cover of YMCA. And I don't want the place turning the lights up at 10:30 telling us it's time to leave. But I do want cake.

I completely understand! Well, not completely, because I love passed hors d'oeuvres and wedding invitations, but I completely understand about wanting them to get on with the cake.

-Kay

Happy New Year!

Wow, 2010! I hope this year treats us all well. I know three couples who are getting married this year! They are all the kind of couples that I have no doubt about whatsoever - each couple is great for each other, and they seem to bring out the best in their significant other. I still don't know their dates or their exact plans (*cough* GET ON IT!), but I know they're going to have beautiful affairs.

Want to read some sappy stories about life-long relationships?

Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward - Painfully gorgeous and together 4-EVA

Patrick Swayze and Lisa Niemi - A young couple with unending love

Harry & Bess Truman - A US President with a crush that lasted a lifetime

Wishing you the best,

Kay

Looking back at '09

Thank you for reading this silly wedding blog. I hope you enjoy it almost as much as I do! I've maintained this blog for about six months, and I'm honored to have had the opportunity to interview two brides who both had awesome and wacky weddings. In case you missed them, here they are again.

Corey and John - Awesome Halloween Wedding
These two had a beautiful Halloween wedding with an a-mazing Star Wars-themed cake!

Emily and Whillis - 99 Cents Only Store Wedding
They won a contest and had a $2,500 wedding for only $0.99!


Please, please drink safely tonight! I will be at home with a few of my favorite people and several bottles of sparkling wine. Hope you have a good night too.

Until 2010,

Kay Banks

10 weird wedding invitations

From my favorite top-ten site Oddee, here are some weird wedding invitations. I'm only featuring the ones that I find the most interesting, but if you want to look at them all, here's the link.



8-bit love! The left side says "INSERT COIN ?"



This one looks like a laptop with a really cluttered screen. I'm not a fan of the design, but I really like the concept.


This one is very cool - I loved my Ouija board even more when my school banned them for being an "unhealthy influence". This would be perfect for an awesome Halloween wedding!



I love Cadbury's chocolate, so I'm not sure I would realize that this is a wedding invitation before ripping off the paper and diving in. What a sweet idea!

There are more at the link, but I feel like most of them have been around the internet a few times already.

-Kay

Japanese couples cut Tuna instead of cake

If you've never had extremely delicious high quality tuna, you should crash a Japanese wedding. Apparently a new trend is to cut a giant Tuna instead of cake. As much as I love cake, I freaking love Tuna. I wholeheartedly endorse this trend.



A company in Kanagawa prefecture has offered tuna-cutting marriage ceremonies for about 10 years now. This particular couple has purchased a 100kg BigEye tuna for their guests. They don’t reveal the cost of this particular fish, but they do say that minimum plan costs about 3,000 yen X 50 guests (roughly $1600USD)



OH MY GOD, look at the color on that Tuna! Oishii desu ne?

-Kay

Christmas wedding in an airport

Accompanied by a justice of the peace, a woman wearing a wedding gown popped into a Texas airport to surprise her fiancee for an on-the-spot, impromptu wedding.



Since Robyn Moore met William Acosta during a chance meeting while he was on a business trip, their relationship has been filled with the ups and downs that come with frequent flier miles.
"(We) spent half our relationship in airports," Moore said.

Planning to marry some time this month, Moore said she thought it was more than appropriated to wed in an airport. Wearing jeans and a sweater, Acosta said he was speechless and thrilled by the surprise nuptials.



The newly wed couple posed for wedding photographs in front of the Christmas Tree located by the security desk at Corpus Christi International Airport. Acosta and Moore met last year in Dallas where she lived. They plan to take their lifetime boarding passes and move to Toledo, Ohio.

This is really sweet - I always like when couples shrug off the stereotypical wedding stuff and Just Get Married already! But why is there a cameraman behind them? If this is for a reality show, I take back every nice thing I said about them.

-Kay

People's most talked about weddings 7-1

Okay, fine, MERRY CHRISTMAS! I hope Santa brought you everything your heart desires. Now let's finish out this painfully long list before I lose your interest completely.


SALMA & FRANÇOIS-HENRI
They first married in a surprise Valentine's Day wedding in Paris's City Hall. But a few months later, Salma Hayek and billionaire François-Henri Pinault wed on April 25 in a fairy tale wedding in Venice. The bride wore a Balenciaga wedding gown by Nicolas Ghesquiere and the couple were serenaded with "Over the Rainbow" by their guests, which included Bono, Penélope Cruz and their daughter Valentina, who was a flower girl.

The flowers are gorgeous - I love the arrangements where the flowers are suspended in vases. Salma Hayek is beautiful too, of course, and her dress has been perfectly chosen to compliment her shape.

FERGIE & JOSH
Following a joint bachelor-bachelorette party, Josh Duhamel and Fergie – clad in Dolce & Gabbana – tied the knot Jan. 10 at Church Estates Vineyards in Malibu. After guests left the bash, memories of the celebration were made to last: The couple sent their wedding invitations after the event. Created by Lehr & Black, the invites included a caricature of the pair fishing. "Josh has a love for art," says invitationer Ellen Black, "and viewed it as giving away of piece of art."

Haha, oh NO Josh, that silly drawing is not art, but it's cute that you think it is. You know what's not cute? Cheating with a stripper a few months after your wedding. Remember when Fergie was just Stacy Ferguson from KIDS Incorporated? I do. I still can't believe what she's done to herself to have fame. Two words METH FACE. Okay, it's Christmas, so I'll say something charitable...nope, I can't do it. I can only picture her peeing her pants on stage. Sorry, Fergie. Oh, she was polite when I met her when I was about 8. So I'll give her that.

ALI & HAYES
Gorgeous in a Vera Wang Chantilly lace gown, Heroes star Ali Larter wed longtime beau, actor Hayes MacArthur, on Aug. 1 at his family's estate in Kennebunkport, Maine. The couple exchanged vows under a canopy of trees, decorated with purple, pink and white flowers, which matched the bride's understated bouquet. "I feel lucky every morning when I wake up and see him," Larter has said.

She's so boring, but her wedding was beautiful. Those trees are the best part of this photo. Maine always sounds interesting to me - it's seems far away and exotic compared to Southern California. The pink and white petals look so nice against the green grass.

KENDRA & HANK
In a white R-Mine dress adorned with thousands of crystals, reality star Kendra Wilkinson went from Girl Next Door to Bride Next Door on June 27, marrying pro football star Hank Baskett at the Playboy Mansion. While the bride and groom shared a first dance to George Strait's "I Cross My Heart," Wilkinson saved her second dance for ex-boyfriend Hugh Hefner.

I'm embarrassed to admit that I watched the Girls Next Door. I kind of loved those girls during their crazy antics and then I would remember that they were dating a dinosaur and I would get creeped out and change the channel. Good for her for marrying someone closer to her age.

HEIDI & SPENCER
After eloping in Mexico, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt decided to get married again, this time in California – and for the Hills cameras. After exchanging vows before 200 friends on April 25, Montag changed out of her Monique Lhuillier gown for their reception at Social Hollywood.

Her ugly face and his gross flesh-colored beard will not be gracing this blog again. Sorry if I scared you. They're kind of funny with their desperate fame-whoreing though, and I like how Spencer throws feeble shots at anyone who doesn't like them in an attempt to further the attention. I suggest intensive therapy, a razor, and a reversal of plastic surgery for her.

CHANNING & JENNA
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra star Channing Tatum traded his fatigues for Giorgio Armani on July 11, when he tied the knot with Step Up costar Jenna Dewan, who wore a dreamy peach-and-ivory Reem Acra gown. Tatum's take on the newlywed life? "It's pretty much the same as I've felt every day since I met her – and that's just about perfect."

I don't have the slightest clue who these people are, but I love her fluffy dress! It's so pretty.

ALYSSA & DAVID
It was a charmed wedding, indeed, when Alyssa Milano (clad in a custom Vera Wang gown and Maria Elena headpiece) said "I do" to agent David Bugliari at his family's New Jersey estate on Aug. 15. Dinner was served family-style on farmhouse tables because, as Milano says, "My Italian family still eats Sunday dinner together every week. We wanted to capture the same feeling with people passing around beautiful bowls of food and talking and laughing."

It's weird how there's still an interest in Alyssa Milano even though she hasn't really done anything in ages. I still don't get why she has captivated so many people. She does look incredibly beautiful and perfect in this photo - her dress is lovely. He looks nice in a white on white tie and shirt. An Italian Jersey farmhouse wedding sounds like something out of a TV show that the Italian Defamation League would complain about, but since it's Alyssa Milano's wedding I'm sure it was perfectly manicured and exquisitely detailed.

Well, that's the end to this painfully long list. Thanks for sticking it out. I hope you're enjoying some quality family time today...don't worry, it will all be over soon.

xoxo,

Kay

People's most talked about weddings 12-8

Getting closer to the most talked-about celebrity weddings of 2009. Here's 12-7...

KARA & MIKE
American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi wore $250,000 worth of Neil Lane jewels when she wed contractor Mike McCuddy on July 6. Although her look was glam, the setting was decidedly down-to-earth, with the couple tying the knot in Prospect, Maine. "It's so natural, so beautiful, so calm, so accepting," DioGuardi said.

I don't really know anything about her. All I know is that she's on American Idol and people hate her for some reason. She seems okay, and she's pretty. This scene looks really wintery to me, though, and they were married in July.


DANICA & MIKE
Former Wonder Years child star Danica McKellar – who's now a mathematician – wed composer Mike Verta on March 22 in a sunset ceremony in La Jolla, Calif. McKellar, who walked down the aisle to a composition by her husband, wore a mermaid-style gown and tiara by Renee Strauss, while the groom went the ultra-formal route, in tails and white gloves – which undoubtedly came off when it came time to cut the triple-tiered devil's food and hot milk sponge cake.

People always tell me that I look like Winnie Cooper and it makes me want to punch them because I hated Winnie Cooper. I didn't really like Kevin Arnold either. Or Paul for that matter. Why the hell did I watch that show? Anyway, I don't look like Winnie Cooper, and when Danica McKeller wrote "Math Doesn't Suck" I disliked her even more because indeed, Winnie, math SUCKS. Devil's food and hot milk sponge cake sounds interesting though. At least she has good taste in cake.

ANDY & BROOKLYN
Tennis pro Andy Roddick married Sports Illustrated model Brooklyn Decker April 17 at his Austin, Texas, home, which was decorated with tropical flowers for the nuptials. Guests at the twilight wedding – which was attended by tennis greats Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi – were treated to a performance by Roddick's pal, Sir Elton John.

Well, they're ridiculously good-looking, aren't they? All I know about him is that he's the attractive tennis player. She's pretty and I love how her hair is floating around her face in this photo.

MARY LYNN & MATTHEW
They may not have worn blue suede shoes, but that's about the only thing Mary Lynn Rajskub's Aug.1 wedding to personal trainer Matthew Rolph didn't have in her Elvis-themed nuptials. The couple tied the knot at Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas with an Elvis impersonator – and the bride even walked down the aisle to the King's "A Little Less Conversation." "We didn't know that getting married at a casino in Vegas with Elvis could be so romantic," Rajskub told PEOPLE exclusively. "Our wedding was beautiful, spontaneous and intimate."

Ha, this is awesome! I love Vegas weddings and Vegas, so this makes me happy.

TOM & GISELE
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and supermodel Gisele Bündchen had not one, but two secret weddings – first tying the knot in a small ceremony in Santa Monica, Calif., on Feb. 26, before a lavish ceremony at the supermodel's Costa Rican home on April 4. "We tried very hard to keep it private. Oh my God, you have no idea how hard that was," the model later told PEOPLE of planning two secret affairs.

I don't follow many sports, but I know that he's a sperminating football player who impregnated multiple women around the same time, and she's a model. Hey, good for them.

Wait until you see the uber-celebrities in tomorrow's post. This list just keeps getting better...

-Kay