Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Celebrity officiants at imaginary themed weddings

The Bruce Campbell-officiated wedding got me thinking about other celebrities at weddings. I mean, it really doesn’t get any better than Bruce Campbell at a Zombie wedding, but I can try, right?

Wallace Shawn

I was recently forced to admit that I’ve never seen the Princess Bride all the way through (I KNOW. Shut up!), but I do love Wallace Shawn. He’d be awesome at a super-romantic wedding (or even an incredibly Nineties wedding a la Clueless). The way he talks is so cute, and I love his voice. The wedding would probably be Ren Faire-y, and everyone would wear tights.

David Lynch

If you’ve ever watched his daily weather report, you already know that a wedding officiated by him would be… weird. In the end, your guests would be confused, and you’d be married to inanimate objects (logs, perhaps), but a Red Room wedding would be mind-blowingly awesome! Am I the first person to think of that? I hope not - I would love to see a Lynch-themed wedding. The reception would be in an abandoned warehouse; PBR would be served.

David Attenborough

Who would be better at a nature-inspired garden wedding? Once, while watching Planet Earth, I announced that I wanted to take a nap in his voice. It is just so soothing. You’d feel somewhat dissected after having him discuss your relationship in front of a group, but it’d be fine as long as he doesn’t conclude with “Coitus, once achieved, is brief…”

Cyndi Lauper

Cyndi Lauper would be amazing at a kooky, free-spirited, artsy wedding. I imagine this wedding would be held in a metropolitan art gallery. Similar to a David Lynch-officiated wedding, the guests would be confused, but she's the kind of person who really holds your attention when she's speaking...if for no other reason than she's a bit hard to understand.


Kay Banks

1 comment:

  1. Along the lines of Cyndi Lauper, I'd go with Melanie Griffith.


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