Monday, February 14, 2011

Least desirable celebrity spouse

It's Valentines Day. There, I said it. If forced Holiday Happiness makes you irritable, you'll enjoy this bitchy My OK! survey about least desirable celebrity spouses. The list is from them, the italics are from me (and wikipedia).

Charlie, you've hard a hard year, so I'm going to post a hot picture of you.

Least Desirable Celebrity Husband:
Charlie Sheen 3 failed marriages. Accurate list is accurate
Mel Gibson left his wife of 30 years, bigot
Tom Cruise 2 failed marriages and 1 that seems creepy
Mickey Rourke 2 failed marriages and a plastic surgery problem
Pete Doherty drug problem, annoying twitter account
Marilyn Manson 1 failed marriage, likes to turn his girlfriends into Dita Von Teese
David Hasselhoff 2 failed marriages, alcohol problems, etc
Ricky Gervais I don't get the hate - I love him. He has a long-time partner, but no marriages
Chris Moyles He's popular in England? Never heard of him
Wayne Rooney He plays for Manchester United. Never heard of him

Amy, you've had a hard life, so I'm going to post a pretty picture of you.

Least Desirable Celebrity Wife:
Amy Winehouse 1 failed marriage, drugs, questionable personal grooming
Lindsay Lohan no marriages, drugs, questionable personal grooming
Britney Spears 2 failed marriages
Heather Mills 2 failed marriages, one successful bank run on Paul McCartney.
Gwyneth Paltrow 1 ongoing marriage, not counting her love affair with her own reflection
Katie Holmes Married to Tom Cruise
Lady Gaga Never married.
Madonna 2 failed marriages
Nicole Kidman 1 failed marriage, 1 current marriage
Sarah Jessica Parker 1 current marriage

Most Desirable Celebrity Wife:
Natalie Portman engaged, please click the link
Megan Fox 1 current marriage
Katy Perry 1 current marriage
Kate Moss engaged several times
Gisele Bundchen 1 current marriage
Cheryl Cole 1 failed marriage
Christina Hendricks 1 current marriage
Rihanna never married, bad taste in boyfriends
Kim Kardashian 1 failed marriage
Kate Middleton engaged

Most Desirable Celebrity Husband:
Prince Harry he's really surpassing his brother in terms of attractiveness
Justin Bieber lolforever, he's a kid
Robert Pattinson tabloid superstar
David Beckham very married with a ton of kids
Russell Brand 1 current marriage
Colin Firth YES, PLEASE. 1 current marriage
Prince William engaged
George Clooney never married
Piers Morgan 1 failed marriage, 1 current marriage
Brad Pitt 1 failed marriage, 1 current partner

It's funny, but not terribly surprising, that all the least desirable people have very public bad habits, but all the most desirable people are mostly just attractive. I had the great misfortune of reading Russell Brand's My Booky Wook (don't ask) and I can tell you that you shouldn't marry him. Kate Moss seems like one of the most unbalanced people in the public eye, so why is she on the list? Why is Justin Bieber on the list, creepsters at OK!'s website?

Have a Day,

Kay Banks


  1. My least desirable husband didn't make the list--Nic Cage!

    Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman seem like creepily good wives....

  2. He and Wesley Snipes should definitely be on the list for making crappy movies and money problems - who wants that?

  3. George Clooney actually was married once, and now he has garnered a rep as a Hollywood playboy. And I agree about Prince Harry. :-)

  4. I didn't know GC was married. He's always called a bachelor, so I guess I just assumed!


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