Monday, June 20, 2011

Post-wedding don'ts

I'm adding to the list of things you shouldn't do when planning a wedding. This one is a post-wedding don't.

DON'T complain long and loud about every little thing that wasn't perfect about your wedding when someone says, "Congratulations! How was your wedding?". Because when I say that, I am not interested in actually hearing about the details. Here's how the conversation is supposed to take place:

Me: Congratulations! How was your wedding?
New husband/wife: Oh, you know, there were a few issues with [insert problem here], but other than that, it was a great day. It seemed like our guests had fun, we had fun, and I'm glad it's over!
Me: That's great. Well, congratulations again!

and then I back away slowly. Or, if I like you, I continue with:

Me: That's great! If you don't mind my asking, what were the issues?

and then you're free to let 'er rip.

"All these people flew to Hawaii for me, but the chairs are the wrong shade of green"

Unfortunately, here's the actual conversation I have when someone I barely know gets married:

Me: Congratulations! How was your wedding?
New husband/wife: OH MY GOD. The coordinator was SO STUPID. I mean, we really had to let him have it because he was just incompetent. The worst part was sending the invitations. I mean, I had to address each one by hand. It took forever! I was like, I'm just going to call people to invite them because I don't want to do this anymore". I should have gotten my friends to do it for me [laugh] because, well, I AM the BRIDE!.
Me: ...uh-huh. That's too bad. But, um, was the reception fun once all the drama was over?
NH/W: Yeah, it was fun.
Me: ...
NH/W: ...
Me: [backs away slowly]

See how that goes? When you have more negative than positive things to say about your wedding, you sound like a miserable asshole. Frankly, if you didn't have fun at your own wedding, you are an asshole*.


*Unless something went horribly, horribly wrong. Disaster weddings are uncommon.
pic source


  1. You know, the only bad thing about my wedding is that Doug and I subsequently chose to discontinue our friendship with most of the people who helped plan it (it's a long, sticky story). But the events leading up to it only happened after the wedding, so of course if someone asks us about the wedding, we say, "Yeah, it was an awesome night, it was a themed wedding with music from our favorite Broadway show and our favorite musical artists, rather than the traditional wedding ceremony music, and it was really intimate. We had a lot of fun and it was perfect for us." That's really all people need to know, and it is, after all, the truth.

  2. Vani, that's too bad that you lost friends after your wedding.

    Good for you for not trash-talking your wedding just because of a few people, though. Sometimes friends have to be let go, and it sucks, but that's life. :/


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