Friday, July 17, 2009

It’s long enough without Nahasapeemapeta-whatever...

What is a wedding? Webster's Dictionary defines a wedding as the process of removing weeds from one's lawn. I love the Simpsons. While Homer and Marge have been married a few times (to each other) it's Selma Bouvier who is the serial monogamist on the Simpsons.

Selma's full name is Selma Bouvier-Terwilliger-Hutz-McClure. Selma is unlucky in love and has dated many of the bachelors in Springfield.

In case you can't tell them apart Selma is the twin with M shaped hair, while Patty's hair is shaped like an O. Both love MacGyver

Here are some of the Springfield men that Selma has married:

Sideshow Bob - aka Robert Underdunk Terwilliger

Unfortunately I can't find a picture of Selma's wedding dress - I remember really loving it! This marriage ends in heartbreak when Bart discovers (in MacGyver fashion) that Sideshow Bob is trying to kill his aunt Selma.

Lionel Hutz

Their marriage was never specifically discussed in a Simpsons episode, but there aren't too many other men named Hutz in Springfield, so I assume this is one of Selma's many amours.

Troy McClure

You may remember him from such nature films as Earwigs: Ewww! and the automated kiosk Where's Nordstrom? Selma thought she was in love, but Troy was using her as a cover wife to hide his true nature - a sexual desire for fish. Selma's heart was broken again, but she soon turned her love to her pet iguana JubJub and finally her adopted daughter Ling.

Even with her daughter and hectic job at the DMV, Selma would marry MacGyver or Richard Dean Anderson in a heartbeat. Hopefully post-mullet.

And that's all the wedding "news" I have for you today. Have a great weekend!


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