UK prison has inmate/same-sex wedding

Two women inmates have tied the knot in what is thought to be Britain's first lesbian prison wedding.

Sara Crane, a convicted killer, and drug dealer Joanne Davies who are both 31, married in a private ceremony earlier this month. The service was conducted by an official from Guildford Register Office at Send Prison in Surrey, The Sun reported.


Dramatization of the actual event

Prison governors are required to consider requests from gay couples who wish to enter civil partnerships. Crane was jailed for life for murder in 2003 and Davies was jailed for two and a half years for intent to supply drugs.

A Ministry of Justice spokesman said: "We cannot comment on individual offenders held in custody at HMP Send. "Offenders are entitled to apply to the Governor to register a civil partnership in prison under the Civil Partnership Act 2004, so long as certain criteria defined under the Act are met."

I'm not sure why anyone would want to spend their life with a convicted murderer or a drug dealer, but...okay? Good luck to them? They are in prison, so it's not like they're known for good decisions.

Make good decisions this weekend friends! Don't drink and marry.

xo,

Kay Banks

Man pays a lot for a crappy proposal

A lucky woman named Sally would have had the surprise of her life when she looked skyward this morning. The words "Marry me Sally" were written above Sydney’s inner west around 10am, much to the delight of thousands of people and hopefully Sally.

The original – and expensive – proposal had a slight glitch when the sky-writer missed the "e" on the end of "me".


mamm m salls

But a quick turnaround saw the missing letter added on at the end, completing the big question. Sally’s partner picked the perfect day to pop the question – the first day of clear sky in several weeks. We just hope his effort and expense paid of, and Sally said yes.

Sally won't say Yes because she won't know what the hell she's looking at. I've seen some terrible skywriting in my time, but this is the worst. I hope that guy gets his money back.

Vry truly,

Kay Banks

From Arbroath.

Hilary Duff's single life goes down

This is either a terrible PR stunt, or Hilary Duff is straight out of Seth MacFarlane's fantasies.

Skip to 0:12



Hilary Duff is engaged to some hockey player named Mike Comrie, and I know this because the engagement took place on a balcony with paparazzi watching below.


I saw that awkwardly-photoshopped Maxim spread where you tried to shed your Lizzy McGuire image...will you marry me?


Yay! I am acting shocked! This is what girls do with their hands when guys propose!


I'm going to text this to my less-famous sister while keeping this bad acting class smile on my face!


Here is your reward for giving people a reason to talk about me!

Yeesh, how embarrassing! Is she waxing his hockey stick, or is it merely a raspberry at a bad angle? My guess is raspberry because in some of the other pictures there are friends hanging around, but maybe she's into public sex? May this be the first of many happy marriages for them both.

-KB

Thanks to my pal J for the tip!

The Knot's stock repurchase a.k.a So it's come to this

What is the deal with weddings this week? All the news is either A) terribly sad B) about uninteresting celebrities C) "news" in the form of a press release.

I found this press release and asked my husband to write a little about it.

The Knot Inc. Announces Stock Repurchase Program - The Knot Inc., the premier media company devoted to weddings, babies, and everything in between, today announced that its Board of Directors has authorized the repurchase of up to $50 million of the Company's common stock from time to time on the open market or in privately negotiated transactions.

"We believe the repurchase of the Company's shares represents an excellent long-term investment and that this action demonstrates our commitment to enhancing shareholder value," said Chief Executive Officer of The Knot, David Liu.



From the ever-suspicious mind of Mr. Kay Banks:
Stock repurchasing is used as a short-term pump for the stock price so that insiders (founders, board members, etc.) can sell at a more favorable price in the near future. Typically it convinces other "retail buyers" to get on board and boost the share price even more.
If there really were good things happening at The Knot, they would take that $50MM and invest it back into the company, which would grow the business and ultimately the stock price.


If you want a generic analysis here you go:
Companies buy back their own stock to keep controlling interest in the company and not in someone else's hands. There is a second reason as well. If they are sitting on cash and think the stock is under-valued, they will invest in their own company. This does two things. First it props up the price by increasing the buy side demand. Second, it provides them the opportunity to enjoy a gain in the exchange when they put those share back into the market at a higher price.
It also helps increase the Earning Per Share EPS, when earnings come out they put them into a per share basis. When companies buy shares they are no longer considered outstanding, so the same amount of money is divided among less shares

What does it all mean, and why are there SO MANY WORDS in a wedding blog? My best guess? The Knot is experiencing this crap-tastic economy just like everyone else. When the self-important brides of the world are spending less money on wedding junk, FEAR FOR YOUR WALLET'S FUTURE. (Ha, and I call my husband a nut.)

I hope you've enjoyed* this finance-minded installment of BotB. See you tomorrow!

-KB

*well, maybe enjoyed is a little strong, but you tolerated it, right? I mean, you made it this far.

Monday morning snark - wonky windmill wedding

I have no idea why these people are stomping around this fake windmill (yeah, fake - they have American accents), but here is a wedding party at a windmill.



Adding insult to injury...those pink dresses are just awful.

Grumpy Monday,

Kay Banks

This post has Nothing to do with Arbroath

Photobooth rental for a wedding

I rented a 4-pose photo booth that printed out two identical strips from Plan-It Interactive. This was a big splurge, and it was so worth it! The photo booth strips started out pretty tame, but as the evening wore on (and the alcohol from the open bar kicked in) the strips got better and the guestbook entries got funnier.



The company was great about answering my emails and coordinating delivery - they were very professional. Two people delivered the photo booth, set it up, and then maintained it all evening. And they helped all the drunkies work the photo booth machine - a very important task toward the end of the evening.



I liked the 4-pose, 2-strip prints because it meant that I got to keep a photo strip, and guests got to keep the other half. The lady that was tending the booth was really good about insisting that at least half went into our book. I'm not sure if I ever properly thanked her (she was so nice), so thanks, nice lady!

-Kay Banks

A mustache story

When wedding news stops being so schmaltzy, I'll post wedding news. For now, a mustache story! It's really strange, and only marginally about an engagement. But I know you'll like it, weirdo.

Thanks to Phil McAndrew for being Man Enough...






































Have a kick-ass weekend,

Kay Banks

Don't mess with the Mother of the Bride

The Mother of the Bride can be the scariest person involved with a wedding. I'm not sure if it's protection of her baby, or living vicariously through her daughter, but some MOBs are terrifying. Thankfully, most of them don't have had shotguns. I feel like this one might have a shotgun arsenal.



CLOSED SEPTEMBER 7
WHEN MY ONE & ONLY
DAUGHTER MARRIES
THAT SORRY, NO COUNT
WORTHLESS, SHIFTLESS
JOHN PATTERSON

The sign reminds me of this snarky wedding invitation...but slightly less eloquent. Does the sign count as the invitation, or some kind of a save the date?

-Kay

Mrs. Banks if you're nasty.

Weightless wedding video

If you are a BotB reader from way back, you'll remember this weightless wedding. This video just happened to come up the other day and I thought you might like to see it. This wedding really looks like fun! If I had $50k extra to spend on a wedding, I'd definitely do it in zero gravity (rather than hiring some guy from TV to walk me down the aisle)




-Kay

You can't fix a bad marriage with duct tape

Something has gone wrong at this wedding photography studio:



Some commenters from There I Fixed It wonder if something terrible happened to Lisa, but I'm fairly confident that if Jerry had any love left in his Hart for her, he wouldn't have hastily duct-taped her name off the sign.

I wonder how professional they were before they broke up? Were they bickering in front of their clients at weddings? Yikes!

-Kay

Here's the Situation - I'm getting some wedding-night Snooki

I don't fully understand this "Jersey Shore" that the kids talk about. Thanks to The Soup, I am aware that it is a reality show on Mtv about a group of intellectually deficient, yet highly entertaining twenty-somethings and they all live in New Jersey. And I watched that poor girl get punched in the face - upsetting!

If you like Jersey Shore (and I know some of you d0), this is for you:

"Jersey Shore" star Paul (Pauly D) Delvecchio has gone from walking along the Seaside Heights boardwalk to – walking down the aisle?!

Since starring in the popular MTV reality show, Pauly D and his castmates have received up to 200 to 300 offers a day to make personal appearances, Michael Schweiger of CEG Talent told RadarOnline.com.


This is a Pauly D (I think)

Schweiger, who represents all the cast members except Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi, said the craziest request thus far has been for Pauly D to escort a bride down the aisle on her wedding day.

"Someone in California offered us $50,000 to have Pauly D walk them down the aisle at their wedding, to give them away," he said. "We rejected the offer, because Pauly is a serious DJ and all the other cast members are doing lots of personal appearances but Pauly D is not necessarily doing the personal appearances because he feels he has a lot to learn as a DJ. He does not want to be doing stuff that is unrelated to DJ-ing."

This is hilarious - I am always amused by the things that rich people want. If I had unlimited money, I would still have wanted my own dad to walk me down the aisle ('cause I luffs my dad), but maybe when I get re-married to a richer man (or renew my vows to my current husband), I'll hire Puck from the San Francisco Real World...or hire Andre and his band from the OG cast! Does that show my age?

-KB

Wedding DJ review - Anaheim DJ

My husband and I booked Don, the Anaheim DJ immediately after meeting him. He was so relaxed, and he promised that our wedding day was OUR day, not his. I have been to weddings where the DJ seemed to think that he was the center of the attention - not Don. He was really great and he was ready for anything.


Don - taken by Jessica Verma

At our initial meeting, I told him that I didn’t see a lot of people dancing, and I didn’t anticipate anything crazy happening at our reception. I had no idea our loved ones were a bunch of crazy lushes, but they are! When he felt that people wanted to start dancing, he had the right song. When a limbo line formed (WTH?), he had a pole and the right song. The music was always appropriate for what was going on, and he followed all of our requests.


My quiet, sane family and friends

The Anaheim DJ website is also very cool because you can search through his music collection and create your must-play list and timeline. It was so easy! People still tell us how much fun they had at our wedding reception, and I know that Don had a lot to do with it – thanks!

-KB

Getting rid of VD.

Here is something sassy and awesome to take you into this weekend of heartfelt sludge:




-Kay "Bootylicious" Banks

I wrote this whole thing about how much I hate Valentine's Day, and I decided it sounded bitter. If you like it, then have fun this weekend! If not, I'm right there with you. MUSH! Ptooey.

This couple requires a class in communication skills

According to news reports from the United Arab Emirates, an unnamed Arab ambassador had been courting his bride, a doctor, through her veil.

Forbidden to see her face until the wedding day, he relied on a photograph of the woman provided by her mother. It was only when he lifted the veil on the wedding day to kiss the bride that he discovered she was cross-eyed and had facial hair. The photograph of the attractive woman was revealed to be the bride's sister.



The ambassador told an Islamic sharia court in the United Arab Emirates that he was tricked into marriage and deserved compensation. According to reports in the Gulf News the ambassador requested the court refer the woman to a specialist to ascertain whether she suffers from hormonal problems. The specialist found no such problems existed.

The court annulled the marriage contract but rejected a $145,000 compensation claim for gifts he had bought his fiancee.

Wedding Gnomes

Hey, do you need a really weird wedding gift? Consider this little gem:



Here's what you get when you purchase the Bride Gnome:
-A very special hand made and beautifully painted Bride gnome
-Ceramic
-Height 30cm (12 inches)
-Price £38.50 was £59.50 + post & packaging UK
-Comes with full instructions on how to look after your gnome

Who wouldn't want this busty little minx!?! (me) I'd name her...Gnancy Gnome.

Have I ever mentioned the weirdest wedding gift I received? It was a ceramic cookie jar shaped like a vintage dog catcher truck. The truck was being driven by - you guessed it! - a bulldog. We took it to a white elephant party and this lady pretended like she thought it was ugly, but she fought to get that cookie jar.

And if my husband's aunt and uncle are reading this, I still have it in my kitchen. Thanks!

-Kay

Someone's gettin' opposite married, y'all!

Carrie Prejean the super moral, boobie-flashing, pillar of society is engaged. JSYK.


Hi, I am a smart and worthwhile human being because I am straight, religious, and better than you.

I am so embarrassed that she's from my state. She's on my love-to-hate list with the useless couple known as Speidi, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and basically every other fame whore who thinks that anyone gives a rip about their opinions.

Mostly, I am posting this so that I can gleefully write about her again when she gets disengaged. Because, COME ON this is not going to happen. At best, it will end in divorce, because apparently she's been dating this guy since last summer. WHAT COULD POSSIBLEY GO WRONG. I mean possibly. ...That shouldn't have happened.

-KAY BANKS

YEAH, CAPS. THIS BISH MAKES ME PISSY OKAY?

Rachel Getting Married

This weekend I finally watched Rachel Getting Married thanks to my BFF Nexflix Instant. I like my movies pitch black, so it's something I recommend if you, like me, enjoy writers who are downright sadistic to their characters. And weddings.



Spoilers and editorials ahoy!

Kym is this spoiled, self-centered drug addict. She's trying to clean up, but if she's anything like the druggies I grew up with, she'll probably never be anything but a black hole for people to throw their love and patience into. I actually know KNEW people like Kym, and I thought Anne Hathaway and the writers did an excellent job of making Kym realistic. They are exactly as selfish and overly-dramatic as Kym was in this film.

So, who the hell is Rachel? Well, Rachel is Kym's older sister, and she has run out of patience for her little sister. Kym sucks up all the attention, adoration, and patience from her parents, and despite Rachel being the put-together, successful sister. Again, it's very true to life. Not that I have known any sisters like this *cough*



The movie is mostly about Kym coming back together with her family after spending time in rehab. The time they're together is spent building up to the all-important wedding day, and as the Big Day nears the stress level goes up and you learn more terrible secrets about this family. They are broken, and they are fragile, but they are family so they fight and love fiercely.

Oh, but you're probably kind of interested in this wedding right? The wedding was a little pretentious. The couple is mixed-race - she is white and he is black - neither of them appears to be Hindi. But for some reason they have an Indian-inspired wedding complete with the saris. WTF? I didn't understand at all why they couple decided to adopt the Indian culture for their wedding despite not being Hindi? Maybe they did explain it, but HEY I can't be expected to pay close attention to everything. I love to appreciate other cultures, but I felt like the Indian-themed wedding was out-of-place. It was distracting from the plot.

The groom was supposed to come from a musical background. I found all of the music and musical performances in this movie to be incredibly annoying. Honestly, why? I don't know - a lot of the character backgrounds go unexplained. All the music, plus the Indian wedding theme...it all felt like it was supposed to really convince me that Rachel and Sidney were cool. Like, they're so cool and I should really consider liking them because they have cool jobs and they throw aside tradition to have an Indian-themed wedding. **



After Kym's sister finally gets married, the movie ends with a dream reception - lots of happy family and good food in an absolutely beautiful backyard. I love movies with backyard weddings. They're always these rich people with beautiful homes and spacious, lush yards. The decorations were gorgeous and I felt as though I was really part of that one special family afternoon where everything comes together.

If you like weddings, but you hate romantic comedies, I give Rachel Getting Married two thumbs up.

xo,

Kay Banks

**Okay, after I typed that I thought "Well maybe..." and now I have LOTS of theories about how it was actually the perfect choice for Rachel's wedding, but hey those are my own personal thoughts and this blog is about weddings, not my weird analysis. Hey, watch this movie and let me know your theory about Rachel's choices!

Jessica Verma Wedding Photography

When you put so much effort into the planning, you have to get a good photographer. I went with Jessica Verma photography and I was so happy with her work!


Photo stolen from her site - this is not me.

We did an engagement session a few months before the Big Day and I'm glad we did because it helped us loosen up in front of the camera. We also got some nice shots that we put up at our reception (along with our parents’ wedding pictures!)


Also not me, though I love that dress

Before our wedding day, I emailed her a list of group shots that I wanted, so on the actual day of our wedding, she was sure to get those pictures with our important family members, and then she just did her thing.


This might be me. You'll never know.

I didn’t have a Maid of Honor or Bridesmaids (I love my family and friends – I didn’t want to torture them), but Jessica was my honorary Maid of Honor. She helped my husband put on his boutonniere, and she had everything I needed (and forgot) in her magic bag – safety pins, stain removing wipes, band-aids, etc.

When we got our pictures back (quickly!), I was so happy to see pictures of our family and friends doing all kinds of crazy stuff. She caught moments that I didn't know happened, and, of course, she made me look great! Like, better than I look in real life!


Definitely not me, but a beautiful picture.

Jessica Verma Photography is based in Pasadena, CA, but I know she travels for wedding as well as doing weddings in Southern California. She does wedding photography, general portraits, glamour photography, and kids photography too. Judging from her site, she does a LOT of Disneyland Wedding Photography. Can I come? :)

-Kay

Undead-themed group wedding

This video is from Thailand - I have no idea what they're saying, but I do know that the video features a bride wearing scorpions, and a groom in zombie makeup.


Couples tied the knot at an odd and spooky wedding ceremony in Thailand on Valentine's day. Seven couples put on their wedding outfits and added Halloween make-up to participate in a wedding they hoped would exorcise jinxes and help them to live in harmony. "The wedding today represented the happy marriage like if we died we will die together," said the King of Centipedes, one of the grooms getting hitched.



So awesome!!!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Kay Banks

Lazy Thursday - Photo dump

Here are some weird photos that I found on my hard drive. I don't remember where they came from, but enjoy!


This one was called "Mail Order Bride"


She looks so prissy - like that damn Veronica. I mean, don't get me wrong, Veronica is hot, but I could do without the attitude.


And now, monkeys!


Apparently there's a Lon Chaney movie I haven't seen? How did I miss this?! I love both Lon Chaney and primates!

How cute is this picture!?!? I'm totally in love with it. She's so adorable, and look at her pretty smile. Aw...

-Kay Banks

Sam Adams founder makes specialty brew for daughter's wedding

I'm no beer connoisseur, but I do love cold beer with the right food/setting, and I like Sam Adams.


Jim Koch was just trying to come up with a unique gift for his daughter on her wedding day three summers ago. But it turns out the beer recipe he created specifically for that event will get a life of its own this year as The Boston Beer Company’s new spring seasonal beer.



The Samuel Adams Noble Pils is arriving in stores and restaurants with an interesting back story, to be sure. The founder of Boston Beer and a few friends finished off the five-gallon keg while he was on vacation after that wedding. Koch tells me he couldn’t help but think that the recipe – a pilsner beer that uses five hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic – would catch the attention of a wider audience.

The flavor was tested with beer drinkers as part of the company’s “Beer Lover’s Choice” program last summer. Typically, the winning flavor of this taste test at bars across the country is introduced in a year-round six pack the following year.


How awesome would it be to have your own wedding beer? And what a smart dad he is - he found a way to make back what he spent on his daughter's wedding...

Kay

Save the Date - Video

Lately, there have been a few Save the Date videos that make me want to simultaneously gouge my eyes out and kick puppies. I get it, future marrieds, you're in LURVE. Guess what? Not that many people care! Sorry to say it, but it's true. This is a Save the Date video that I can get behind. I wanted to snark it, and I really wanted to hate them, but I think this video is cool because it shows them on an action/sci-fi adventure to get married. They look like they'd be fun to hang out with because they're a little geeky and they have a good sense of humor. See for yourself:





Here's an awkward interview with the couple - there's a time-delay, so it's hard to watch, but the couple is so cute!



Good luck you guys!

Kay Banks

Wedding trend - loosen up!

I almost always think people need to let loose - not just on their wedding day! This article claims that a new wedding trend is to take wacky or crazy photos that highlight a couple's individuality and interests. Here are some of their examples.


She is holding squash and one onion, he is holding three tomatoes. If this photo is supposed to be indicative of their genitals, THEY HAVE PROBLEMS.


I don't get this photo - maybe it's horror-inspired? He's coming out of the cornfield and she looks like she's poised for attack. What I do love is this girl's dress - it's beautiful! I LOVE all that business going on around her butt, and the little hat just screams Goth Queen to me.


These two are cute - they look like wealthy geeks.


Despite my disinterest in sports, this one is my favorite. I love the absurdly happy look on her face as she cradles the football, and his intense concentration as he waits for the ball.

Happy first day of February!

-Kay Banks

Of course, this "trend" has been around for a while. Just look at Trash The Dress. But it's always fun to look at more wedding pictures, right?