Overlooked wedding attire - Shrek and Fiona

Shrek is a mean ogre, but if kids' movies have taught me anything it's that even the meanest, greenest weirdo should have a big wedding. Let's look at the sometimes-human, sometimes-green-and-hirsute princess Fiona.


It doesn't even look like Shrek changed his shirt for his wedding, but Fiona looks lovely in a square-necked white gown with green trim.


It looks like Fiona is wearing a low-slung rope belt with her dress. I've always read that full-figured ladies should wear belts at the natural waist or higher to make the waist look smaller, but she's the bride, so she can do what she wants.


You'd be surprised how difficult it is to find pictures of Fiona's gown. It's not the most beautiful dress ever, but I think it looks nice on her, and it's appropriate for a swamp wedding with fairytale characters.

Here's a little taste of their honeymoon:


Truly, it is the man or woman who makes the clothes. I hope this ridiculous week of overlooked wedding attire has helped you realize that having confidence will make even rags with cord belts look great.

Have a wonderful weekend!

-Kay Banks

Overlooked wedding attire - Phyllis from The Office

Jim and Pam's wedding was cool because it was sweet and highly-anticipated, but Phyllis' wedding was much funnier. Michael and Dwight both took their responsibilities too seriously, Scrantonicity played, and Pam got pissed because Phyllis stole her wedding ideas. Stolen or not, Phyllis and Bob Vance's wedding was an elegant evening.


Phyllis looks so pretty! The strapless dress is modern, but the lace shrug adds a romantic and age-appropriate touch. The simple veil adds more romance to the overall look. Her bouquet is also lovely - an antique handful of white, ivory, and cream flowers.


Love Angela.



-KB

More overlooked wedding fashion - The Room

Oh, hi. By now you've surely heard of "the Citizen Kane of bad movies" - The Room. Truly, The Room is spectacularly bad. Writer/ Producer/ Actor/ Director/ Marketing man/ Best friend Tommy Wiseau really knows how to strong-arm every human emotion into his craft. One of the many turning points of The Room is the tuxedo football scene. The tuxedos are curious in a scene of impromptu alley football, but I think the reason for the suits is that the main character, Tommy, is getting married. It would seem that all of his best friends are trying out their tuxedos before the big day.

Skip to 1:05 for the tuxedo scenes:



Maybe you can't tell from this low-res screen cap, but these tuxedos are terrible. Everyone has ill-fitting pants and jackets, but the little guy in the back (OHHI, DENNY) has a Fred Mertz thing happening with his pants.

The Room wasn't a high-budget movie, but I feel that an awesome guy like Tommy Wiseau would have a professionally tailored tux in his closet. It's safe to say that this "fashion" is overlooked because it is terrible. But I did not overlook it, I DID NAAAAAT.

-Kay Banks


If you like terrible movies, you should rent The Room or go to one of the many midnight screenings. Truly, your mind will be blown. Report back if you watch it so that I can bask in your gratitude.

My favorite red wedding dress

One of my favorite overlooked wedding dresses is from Beetle Juice. It is probably overlooked because the wearer is an unwilling child bride (creepy), but it's beautiful just the same. The pointy bangs, the poofy red tulle...it's dated, but still pretty.

It's too bad that there are no good full-length pictures of the dress, but this photo (click to embiggen) shows off the blood-red color of the polka dot lace.



Skip to 2:20 to see the dress; 3:25 to see the ceremony


It looks like a very full skirt (with a hoop skirt underneath?) that stops at her calves. I can't quite see it, but if she's wearing pointy boots, the dress length makes sense. The gown that Geena Davis is wearing is okay too (she's probably the true overlooked bride in this movie), but it's so '80s and not nearly as awesome as Lydia's.

More tomorrow!

-Kay

Overlooked wedding attire

There's plenty of focus on beautiful, perfectly-formed actresses, but what about the weddings of slightly misshapen or even D-list celebrities? This week's plan is to focus on the best of the overlooked celebrity wedding attire...starting with Miss Piggy's wedding gown from The Muppets Take Manhattan.



Piggy is my favorite headstrong, frog-loving drag queen. She's bitchy, pushy, self-centered and FABULOUS. Look at all that lace. She's like Alexis Carrington in felt and pearls...were the two characters related? As always, the grooms have it easy. Kermit is looking dapper in his three-piece suit. I like that his little boutonniere matches Piggy's style, but it isn't a carbon copy of her bouquet.

Your childhood is calling:


Haha, admit that you got a little choked up! Just a little. These are, after all, your childhood friends and they are FINALLY getting married! They'll be so happy...

-Kay

And the winner is...a dude?

A sincere THANK YOU! to everyone who entered the Misikko Professional Flat Iron giveaway! The entries were kept track of on a spreadsheet, and the winner was chosen through a random number generator.



And here's a little glimpse of my spreadsheet:


Congratulations, Ken! I suspect you're entering for your lady (or maybe you want to look like a Jonas Brother?), so give my congratulations to her as well. I'll be giving your email to the nice people at Misikko, and emailing you to let you know.

To everyone else who entered - thanks for playing! Don't be like this; I hope there will be other opportunities for awesome stuff in the future.



And for the record, the Misikko product that I love the most is the CHI Professional Pink Dryer because it looks like a flamingo. Haha!



Have a wonderful weekend!

-Kay Banks

Awkward stock wedding photos

I love Awkward Stock Photos, but there aren't enough wedding-related pictures for my taste. I know there must more lurking out there than just this one:



No offence to this model, but what is going on with her photos? She looks unprepared or annoyed in all of them, but there seems to be a whole series of pictures of her with just this gown and a weird expression on her face.



Every time her faced popped up, I laughed harder. Who would buy this? Is she pretending to be 10?


There are also a LOT of photos of crazy, pissed-off brides. I actually like this one. I hope I find a reason to use it in the future.


Her little balled-up fists are funny. And how about this angle? She's all up in your face - that's how you know she's mad.


This one's called "She got her man" No further snark is necessary.


I never post pictures of myself on this blog. Today's the big day - here I am with my husband on our wedding day. He's quite the wiggler, but eventually I got him in that trunk.


And lastly, these terrifying dolls. WTF.


-Kay

It's not too late to enter the flat iron contest! Shoot me an email tonight to enter. The winner will be announced tomorrow - good luck!

Alternative wedding gown ideas

I'm not a fan of any of these gowns, but I'm glad that more people are bucking tradition and wearing something different for their wedding day.

Here are some suggestions from Refinery 29
Go to the source for prices and purchasing

The Romantic Bride



The Fashion-forward Bride



The Multi-tiered Bride



The Neo-classical Bride



The Bodacious Bride


If you're thinking about wearing something other than the usual, my only suggestion would be to make sure it's something that you think you'll love. Choose something beautiful that fits your personality or else in twenty years your kids will submit you to a blog to get laughed at.

-Kay

Redefining the Golden Anniversary

GeekDad has decided to re-write tradition to create a new list of anniversary gifts. I'm pretty excited about this list - I hate the old one. Mr. Banks and I decided not to follow the theme after we exhausted ourselves on the first theme - paper. Who wants cotton for an anniversary gift? When we started thinking "sweaters and money" we knew it was time to abandon tradition.


Whatever you gift, wrap it like this!

Here's their spin:

Year/Traditional/Modern/Geek

1st/Paper/Clocks/Digital Media Downloads
2nd/Cotton/China/MMORG Gold/Currency
3rd/Leather/Crystal, Glass/Geeky t-shirts
4th/Linen, Silk/Appliances (electrical)/Comic Books
5th/Wood/Silverware/Smartphone

I don't personally do many of these, but I'm on board with this list.


6th/Iron/Wood objects/Board Game
7th/Wool, Copper/Desk sets/Pen & Pencil sets/CAD Software
8th/Bronze/Linens, Lace/Gaming Dice
9th/Pottery, China/Leather goods/Gear Bag
10th/Tin, Aluminum/Diamond jewelry/Tablet Computer

I love board games, and I'm always looking to add to my collection, but CAD software? Not many people (even geeks) will actually want that. And those gaming dice had better be pretty spectacular. I have a sneaking suspicion that tablet computers will be replaced by something better and much cooler in ten years, thus dating this list. Think about ten years ago - 2000. TiVo was, like, the coolest thing ever, and everyone has a DVR now. You can watch TV on your phone now and it's not that big a deal. I think that a broader subject would be better for the 10 year anniversary. Maybe "portable computing device" would be better. I love my netbook - that would have been a great gift. Or maybe a Kindle? I'd marry that thing if I could.


11th/Steel/Fashion jewelry, accessories/Headphones,Portable Speakers
12th/Silk/Pearls, Colored gems/Dedicated Offsite Data Back-up
13th/Lace/Textiles, Furs/LEGO
14th/Ivory/Gold jewelry/Bluetooth Headset
15th/Crystal/Watches/Laptop

I love the 12th anniversary idea. My husband is not romantic in the least, but occasionally he'll do something incredibly sweet like scan an entire photo album and then back it up on several hard drives and offsite and I think "he loves me!". And yay, Legos! Anniversary #14 is a little too specific for me, but I think it's a good idea.


16th/Tourmaline/Silver Holloware/Technical Tools (computer repair, electronics, wiring)
17th/No tradition/Furniture/Gaming Consoles,Accessories
18th/Turquoise/Porcelain/See a Space Launch
19th/Aquamarine/Bronze/Authentic Movie orTV Props
20th/China/Platinum/3D HDTV

I like this segment a lot, but I'd change 20th to "State-of-the-art TV" because I do not want to wear glasses just to watch TV on my couch.


21st/No tradition/Brass, Nickel/Attend a Major Genre Convention
22nd/No tradition/Copper/Home Media Server
23rd/No tradition/Silver plate/UAV (Unmanned Air Vehicle)
24th/Opal/Musical Instruments/Virtual Instruments and Sequencers
25th/Silver/Silver/Desktop Computer

30th/Pearl/Diamond/Geeky Adventure Travel (Vomit Comet, Arecibo)
35th/Coral, Jade/Jade/Home Hardwired for Gigabit Ethernet
40th/Ruby/Ruby/Off-Grid Utilities

I'd gift this - I totally want to watch my husband ride the Vomit Comet.

42nd/No tradition/Improved Real Estate/Towels

I love this - if you can spend 42 years together, you've definitely figured life out, and you'll definitely need towels.


45th/Sapphire/Sapphire/Blue Lasers

50th/Gold/Gold/Near-Earth Space Tourism (Virgin Galactic, Russian Space Program)

55th/Emerald/Emerald/Virtual Reality

60th/Diamond (Yellow)/Diamond/Bionics or Implanted Computing

65th/No tradition/Star Sapphire (Gray)/Medical Rejuvenation

My dad did this (kind of). Many years ago, for my mom's birthday, he went to a department store and bought my mom every age-reversing serum and wrinkle cream they had. She was insulted and he was confused. Gift carefully!


70th/Temporal Correction (Fix a Past Indiscretion)

Tread carefully!


75th/Diamond, Gold/Diamond, Gold/Intergalactic Travel

80th/Oak/Diamond, Pearl/Eternal Life (Ascension to Higher Plane, Brain Transplant to Younger Clone)

This entire list is hilarious. As with all geeky things, it will change as technology gets better. Like I mentioned earlier, 10 years is a loooong time for tech. The gadgets we have now are way better than the ones theorized by Star Trek and Star Wars. Hopefully in 10 years "particle transporter" and "jetpack" will be on the list. WHERE'S MY JETPACK!?

-Kay

Couple stranded by volcano marries in Dubai

A Brisbane couple's wedding guests have watched them take their vows over the internet after the volcanic ash cloud disrupting European flights left them stranded in Dubai.

Sean Murtagh, 24, and Natalie Mead, 30, first tied the knot at a civil ceremony in inner-city New Farm three weeks ago. But Sean's family in the UK could not make it to Queensland so his mother organised a second reception in London. They landed in Dubai on Thursday only to be told, after a 19-hour wait, there would be no connecting flight to England.


This picture has nothing to do with anything. From spike55151.

"Everyone pray to volcano gods that I can get on a plane today, or I am going to miss my wedding!" Natalie posted on Facebook. Then Sean asked staff at the Millennium Airport Hotel if they could get an web-video link-up in their room. Staff pulled out all stops for the stranded couple.

"They have decorated the lobby of the hotel. They made us a three-tier wedding cake, set up a laptop with Skype and a projector," Sean said. With 80 guests watching from London, Sean and Natalie renewed their three-week-old vows in Dubai online.

"Bugger if we are going to let a little thing like a volcano stop us from getting married and sharing it with Sean's family and friends," posted Natalie.

Yay, our first wedding story from the Volcano mess! It's too bad that Natalie and Sean didn't get their "big day" but I'm sure that this is a lot more memorable than the standard vow renewal. And it's nice that instead of price-gouging, the hotel is helping wayward travelers. Though, they probably haven't received their bill yet...

-KB

Jewelry "badvertising"

I know a lot of women have unrealistic expectations when it comes to engagement jewelry, but this is just ridiculous:


This is what I looked like yesterday when I realized that my taxes were due.

My God, what have I done?

I screwed up royally! Oh Lord, I've gone and done it this time. I failed to get her ring at RF Moeller Jeweler. I should have known they had the best diamonds at the best prices.

I'm a moron, a lunkhead, a moon-calf, a chowder brain, a nit-wit, an imbecile. How could I have botched this so badly?!

No one's ever been sorry they went with Moeller. NO ONE!

Some people were highly offended and took to the RF Moeller Facebook page to complain that suicide is not a joke. Offensive or not, they did a great job getting their name out. I do think the ad is over-the-top, and the image was just a poor choice. Maybe it would have been funnier with a guy tearing his hair out, or a girl in a wedding dress smashing things?

Hey! This is a seamless segue - ready? Don't tear YOUR hair out next week when you realize that you missed out on your chance to win a FREE professional flat iron from Misikko!

Have a great weekend!

-Kay Banks

Don't you kind of think that The Consumerist blows a LOT of stuff out of proportion? People take every nit-picky little complaint they have and whine about it via the Consumerist. Someone was rude to me in a store! My food at McDonald's doesn't look like the picture! I'm not saying that the site isn't great, but at times I find it highly tedious.

John Krasinski and some girl planning mystery wedding

I love that this article doesn't even mention Emily Blunt's name in the headline. Isn't she a reasonably recognizable name at this point? I only know her because she is engaged to MY BOYFRIEND.



Anyway, they announced their wedding plans last year and they're hoping to have a secret wedding "soon".

From the crappy article:
“It will be a big wedding…probably in London or Los Angeles.” According to the source, the wedding is next month, and they have already picked up their wedding bands. However the bride has not yet settled on the perfect wedding gown.

“She looked at Monique Lhuillier and Vera Wang,” said the source. “She is definitely considering Monique Lhuillier.”

Monique Lhuillier! Oh Em Gee that's so original!

As much as I love Jim Halpert, I am so bored with celebrity wedding news! I know it's wrong, but when I first heard about the Iceland volcano eruption I thought "Oh, good, more airport wedding stories! I love those!" Because I'm a dick.

But I make up for being a dick by offering you gifts. Expensive gifts. Have you signed up for the flat iron giveaway yet? I have a spreadsheet to keep track of it, and I sincerely can't wait to see who the lucky winner will be.

-KB

Wedding cake shop scammed

A wedding cake shop in Washington fell victim to a weird internet scam. Basically, someone ordered a wedding cake via email, and gave the bakery a credit card number for the $2500 charge. The scammers asked the bakery to wire $980 through Western Union for the shipping charges, and then the cake was never picked up. It is assumed that the credit card used to pay the $2500 was a stolen card.

Not that I don't feel bad for them, but COME ON! Don't wire money through Western Union to someone you don't know or trust. It's not difficult! If someone wants you to wire money, they are a scammer. Period. Full stop. Etc.



In the above video, they show the email. The email was written in Comic Sans and I saw "God Bless You". Maybe it's just me, but whenever I read a somewhat legitimate looking email that is repeatedly blessing me, I KNOW it's a scammer. Come on, bakery, use your spidey sense! And if anyone ever sends me an email in Comic Sans they are forever banished to my junk box.

This is a hell of a weird scam. I would never think to target bakeries. The nice part of this story is that the unclaimed wedding cake was donated to a rescue mission - some hungry people got to eat some really good cake.

-KB

Nothing to do with Weddings

In my daily googling to find wedding stuff that is weird or interesting, I find a lot of unexpected stuff. I was just reading one of my favorite blogs Nothing to do with Arbroath, and I spotted what looked like a bear dressed as a bride. After 1:38, I still have NO IDEA what I watched, but it's a bear dressed in a white (and, you must admit, somewhat wedding-y) negligee dancing to Rammstein.

This is probably not safe for work? I assume this is sexual in nature. Not being sexually attracted to bears, I wouldn't know.


I know this has nothing to do with weddings, but it's too weird not to share.

Confusedly,

Kay

Wedding rumor: Elizabeth Taylor engaged?

Rumors were swirling last week that Elizabeth Taylor was engaged for the ninth time. So, are rumors true?

No.

From her own Twitter: The rumors regarding my engagement simply aren't true. Jason is my manager and dearest friend. I love him with all my heart.

If she does get married again, I hope she channels the style of number four. It's my favorite, and I know that my preference means a lot to her.



-Kay

Scotland Museum showcases Hollywood wedding gowns

The National Museum of Costume Scotland is showcasing glamorous gowns that have featured in film and TV productions. The costumes are being used to illustrate the development of the wedding dress since the 18th Century.


An image from the Museum's site

Anyone who turns up to the Marriage in the Movies exhibition wearing their wedding dress will be given free entry.

The highlights include Keira Knightley's gown from The Duchess and the dress worn by Joely Richardson in the role of Wallis Simpson. Other wedding dresses on display have been worn by Meryl Streep, Nastassja Kinski and Helena Bonham Carter. The exhibition includes examples of wedding favours and gloves, invitations, cards and accessories, to show changes in fashions and styles over the years. It also explores some of Scotland's marriage traditions and the process of designing costumes for films.

Maureen Barrie, exhibitions officer at National Museums Scotland, said: "The wedding dress is probably the most special item of clothing that women will wear in their lifetime. Usually they are only worn once, but we thought that our new exhibition would be the perfect opportunity for women across the country to get dressed up once more and mingle with the beautiful wedding dresses worn by the stars."

The exhibition runs until Sunday 31 October.

Oh ma ga, I want to go to this! I really don't even like wedding gowns that much, but I love all the hand-finished beading, lace, and advanced sewing that go into high end gowns. I would also want to go to see if anyone would wear their wedding dress to get free admission. Would I get in if I wear this???


Sorry, Britney. Kind of.

Have a great weekend! Don't forget to enter the FREE Giveaway for the Flat Iron. I mean, it's FREE! Why wouldn't you want to sign up?

-Kay

Win a FREE professional flat iron from Misikko!

Earlier today, I posted my wedding hair how-to and review of the awesome, 100% ceramic Hana elite flat iron. The flat iron alone sells for $229.99! You’ll also get all the extra goodies that you see here:



Now, you can win a flat iron just like the one I reviewed thanks to the generosity of Misikko! Here’s what you do:

1) Repost this giveaway on your facebook, twitter, or personal blog. (Worth one extra entry each)

2) Sign up for the Misikko newsletter (THREE extra entries), and/or follow the Misikko Twitter and the Blogger of the Bride Twitter accounts (one extra entry each).

3) Send me an email! Email bloggerofthebride\at/gmail\dot/com (you know what to do) and let me know that you tweeted, facebooked, and blogged this giveaway.

It's not necessary, but if you want another chance to win a professional flat iron worth over $200, visit the Misikko website and choose your favorite product. Link to it in the comment section on this blog and tell me why it's your fave. You won't receive the item of course (hey, I'm not your fairy godmother), but you'll get an extra chance to win.

What is necessary is that you follow steps 1-3 or else your entry will not be counted and you'll miss out on this sweet giveaway from Misikko! Each repost and sign up for will get you extra chances to win a professional flat iron! I’ll be taking entries until 4/22, so don’t delay!

-Kay

P.S. I'm not sure if it's clear - please specify in your email who you are and what you signed up for/followed. It will really help me keep track of everything so that I can choose the winner. Thanks!

How to flat iron your own hair for your wedding

Recently, a company called Misikko sent me a professional flat iron to review on this blog and I was so happy to get the offer! I love flat irons, but I’ve only ever used the cheapo drugstore specials. My hair was professionally flat ironed on my wedding day, and I started wondering if I could have done it myself (after some practice, of course). I called my friend/victim T to help me do a very simple wedding hair how-to. Stay tuned for a chance to win your own professional flat iron!



This is the awesome stuff I got from Misikko! I couldn’t believe it when I opened the box. I knew I would be getting the high-end CHI flat iron from Hana, but I didn’t know it would come with all the extras! I received the flat iron, the storage case for the flat iron, a hot mat to protect my table while using the flat iron, a heat-proof pouch, shine serum hair product, and some extra goodies like a bottle of hand sanitizer, emery boards, and some artificial flowers. Cute!

There are several types of professional flat irons; the most popular are CHI flat irons and the FHI flat irons. The differences are too minute for me, a novice to determine, but I guarantee that if you are going to buy a flat iron, you should invest in a good one and not the cheap $30 drug store special like I’ve always had. The Hana flat iron was incredibly easy to use the first time. I’ve never done anything but mangle my hair with the cheap ones (frizz, crimping, etc). Without any practice AT ALL, I was able to give my friend T smooth, incredibly shiny hair. Visit the Misikko website to find the best flat iron for your needs.



Here is my friend T’s hair. It’s gorgeous, no? Slightly wavy, and with lots of body and volume; wash and go hair works for her. But for a wedding day, it’s important to polish everything up and make it look a bit more special.

We started with dry hair, and I used the 230 degree setting on my flat iron. Maybe you pros can do this with damp hair at the highest setting, but as I said before, I had never used a professional flat iron, and I didn’t want T to scratch my face off if I melted all of her lovely hair.

This was all I needed for T’s hair: the flat iron, the heat safe mat to protect my table, four large hair clips, a brush, a comb, a barrette, 3 hair pins, and some patience.



Using the large clips, I secured the upper sections of the hair to her crown, and started at the nape. I used the comb to spread a 1” section of hair evenly across my hand, then gently closed the flat iron and ran it along the length of her hair. At the end of the hair, I turned my wrist about 45 degrees toward me to make a soft curl. To make sure that the hair was straight and smooth but not limp, I placed the iron about half an inch away from her scalp. I wanted to keep all the volume that I could – I wouldn’t make my friend look like a drowned rat on her wedding day after all! I know that the super flat hair look is popular, but for a wedding, I think it’s better to go with something timeless rather than trendy.



Here is the after – doesn’t her hair look pretty? It’s not drastically different; it’s just very smooth and polished. And it didn’t take long at all!

After using the Hana flat iron for about half an hour, I really began to appreciate that I was using a pro iron. The cord is very long so you never had to worry about accidentally pulling it out of the wall, and the cord rotates at the end of the unit, so you don’t have to interrupt styling by twirling/untwirling the cord. I was also surprised by how quickly the unit heated up, and I liked that it never felt too heavy in my hand. Sometimes when I’m blow-drying my hair, I really start to realize how heavy the dryer is. I didn’t experience any arm fatigue with this flat iron.

Since T is a true romantic, I wanted to do something within my very basic skill set to make it more elegant. Using a barrette and a few hair pins to secure stray hairs, I pulled the hair around her face and crown back into a partial up-do. Using the flat iron, I took a few ends and twisted them into curls. I held the flat iron at an angle instead of holding it perpendicular to the hair. It took a few tries, but here is the result.



I think it looks really nice! I actually still can’t believe that I did this because sincerely I have never been able to do more with my own hair than washing it and pulling it into a pony tail. When T really does get married (in a European castle, I hope), she’ll probably wear a veil, but for the evening, she made do with a single orchid that I cut off my plant (sorry plant!) and threaded into the barrette. Voila!



T doesn’t have bangs or any layering around her face, but if she did, I would have left a few strands down and twirled them into romantic curls too. Fun!

Sounds pretty easy right? I know you can do it – even if you aren’t skilled at styling hair.

Thanks so much to the nice people at Misikko for treating me like a paying customer! Stay tuned because I’m going to announce a way for YOU to win your own professional flat iron!

-Kay Banks

Barak Obama's Father-in-law wasn't sure if he'd last

Michelle Obama's father didn't think boyfriend Barack would last. He is quoted as saying

"She'll eat him alive."



The late Fraser Robinson's assessment upon meeting his daughter Michelle's new suitor, Barack Obama, back in 1989, according to first brother-in-law Craig Robinson's forthcoming memoir, reports the L.A. Times. The younger Robinson writes that his parents praised Obama as "not a bad-looking guy" but didn't figure he'd last.

Click for more of the Obama's wedding photos.

Of course, the real way to make something happen is to threaten to move to a different country! Dad should have said, Michelle, if you keep dating that guy, I'll move to Canada! Or Puerto Rico! Whatever. Don't you hate talking politics? People get so crazy. I've been in discussions and been accused of being both a Republican and a Democrat. Shuttit!

-Kay

Pssst! Stay tuned for my posts tomorrow! I might have something for you! Something awesome. Something for you to win.

Fish in a wedding cake? That's just wrong.

This is so wrong, for so many reasons.

First, it's just an ugly cake. Why is the coral (seaweed?) blue? I also hate the haphazard shells all over the place. Then, instead of the columns, they used champagne glasses to prop up the top tier? It's kind of a cute idea, but it's poorly executed.



What the what? Look at those sad little fish in the glasses. First, you should not use live animals as decorations. Yes, I'm probably a hypocrite in this area because I eat fish and meat, but I do not use animals for my visual pleasure (unless it's DEEP SEA on Blu-ray because that blows my mind!) because it seems like an asshole thing to do. Second, if you are going to use animals for your visual pleasure, at least make it visually pleasing. Poor Betta fish are usually the victims of the fish-for-decoration trend, but these are ten cent guppies. They're ugly. Everything is ugly.



Humph!

-Kay

Juvenile engagement humor

It's a thread of responses to a blog or website post titled "Most Creative Ways to Propose"



Retyped for your viewing pleasure!

1. Joe says:
Another idea, either buy or bake a cake, decorate it very fancy. Present it to her, when she asks you what it's for, your answer will be "It's our engagement cake". Then you will grab the box with a ring on the top of the cake.

Okay, this one doesn't make much sense to me since it's based on predicting what someone will say. I mean, I love cake, but this doesn't sound very exciting.

2. Joe Mama says:
My wife and I got engaged before a trip to Cancun, I went to Taco Bell and found hot sauce packets one saying "Make A Wish" and another saying "Will You Marry Me?" I handed her the "Make A Wish" and made her close her eyes and then handed her the "Will You Marry Me" one! She loved it; we got married in September '07


Thanks for the pic

It's not my favorite, but I have always wondered if anyone has proposed with those hot sauce packets.

Here's where the troll comes in. It's stupid, but I laughed because it's SUCH a boy thing to write.

3. James Monroe says:
I am a gynecologist and first met my wife when she was one of my patients. We started going out, we fell deeply in love. After almost a year of dating, one time when she came in and I was giving her a vaginal exam, I said to her, "I've found something!" And pretended to pull the engagement ring out from her vagina. I presented it to her and asked her if she will marry me. She answered yes and we've been happily married ever since!

Is it wrong that I am so amused by this story? It's so WTF, I couldn't ignore it. Did I lose you? Hey, where are you going!?...

-Kay

Found via Reddit

All crazy brides turn into:

Crazy wives



Based on the "Little Gym" sticker this person has obviously jumped off the crazy wife train and onto the crazy mommy train. She's probably one of those women who identifies herself as "someone's mommy" and that makes my stomach turn. I guess it's better than being Mrs. [Man's name]? Or is it? All I know is that I'd cut her off in traffic. Because I'm a bitch, and I'm okay with that.

-Kay

Would you invite your grandma to this wedding?

Hello there, diligent blog reader! Today is April Fool's Day, and I wracked my brain trying to think of a good prank! The problem is that most online pranks suck. They always involve a news story that seems INCREDIBLE! And then you realize what day it is, and get annoyed. “Sigh!” you think, I’ll just come back to the internet tomorrow when the jokes aren’t so stupid.


Yeah, this is awkward.

Well, instead of writing a lame article about George Clooney’s secret nuptials (it’s shocking because he’s been single for so long!) I’ve decided to just see if any of you are actually curious enough about what all this garbage is that you’d copy it, paste it into a document, and then change the font to read it. Are you that interested? Aw, thanks, you’re the best! Honestly! If I saw this, I’d probably just keep scrolling.

The best April Fool’s Day prank that I ever pulled was last year when I taped my husband’s cell phone shut. I taped it with the clearest tape I could find, and then called him the next day. He answered the phone, I heard a bunch of shuffling, and then “…Very nice. Happy April 1st.” in an annoyed voice. HAHAHA!

I wanted to get married on April 1st. I thought it would be funny to see if anyone would believe the invitation, and then it seemed like an opportune time to pull a prank on 150 of my most distant friends and family members. Ha…ha? But the room was already booked on that day so we got married in May.

Anyway, carry on with your day! Don't fall for anything too stupid!

Yours,
Kay Banks